[blParent] BlParent Digest, Vol 234, Issue 1

Wed Nov 29 20:51:49 UTC 2023

Hello Clayton, 

Is there a member of your blind community you trust whom you could pay to watch your son for even a few hours a week?  I remember very well how consuming baby care can be.  I had to divorce  an alcoholic when my two kids were teenagers.  I was a single mom with a fulltime job for four years, and teenagers are a whole different level of difficulty than babies are.  As. The others say, you can do this!  I agree with he advice you’ve received though you have to choose carefully.  

Sylvia
Sent from my iPhone

> On Nov 29, 2023, at 7:01 AM, blparent-request at nfbnet.org wrote:
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> Today's Topics:
> 
>   1. How to get more support (Esoteric Quality)
>   2. Re: How to get more support (Christina Rebilas-Kruzik)
>   3. Re: How to get more support (Roanna Bacchus)
> 
> 
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Message: 1
> Date: Tue, 28 Nov 2023 05:55:34 -0700
> From: Esoteric Quality <eqmusicofficial at gmail.com>
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blParent] How to get more support
> Message-ID:
>    <CAPxFAbFAuj4bQPcTPetCi2q=np+H+_XJd81-ty0qRtUQd-CCMw at mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"
> 
> I am at a point of other exhaustion at this point. My son is 7 months old,
> and I literally do most of the work in taking care of him. His mom barely
> has him for at the most a few hours, before she asks me to take him back. I
> love watching my son. That isn't the issue. However, it makes it very
> difficult for me to get essential and important things done. While I have
> neighbors that do support me, they can only help out a few minutes at most.
> Me and my son's mother are also in court over custody and parenting time,
> and I am going to be pushing for the primary care position, since I am
> doing most of the work. Anyway. My question is, how do I get more support
> so that I can get what I need to done, while also making sure that he is
> well cared for? I am at a loss. I don't really want to send him to daycare
> for obvious reasons.
> 
> Clayton Jacobs.
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 2
> Date: Tue, 28 Nov 2023 08:24:36 -0500
> From: Christina Rebilas-Kruzik <ckruzik22 at gmail.com>
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blParent] How to get more support
> Message-ID:
>    <CAD3q-xy2Jj7SNVRxSEdnY0wU9G_nirQ7og10wqd+0ykBXPukXA at mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"
> 
> Clayton,
> Coming from a Mom whom went through very similar circumstances when my son
> was between 6-8 months old (he?s 7 now) a few nuggets of wisdom for you
> that I pray helps.
> First, don?t nix daycare. If you have a good daycare in the area they will
> be your saving grace both as an advocate (how much each parent is/isn?t
> involved) as well as knowing enough to know you need community.  I was the
> same where I never wanted my child in daycare and it ended up being a great
> choice temporarily too mind you. It?s not forever but my son continued till
> preschool then switch for elementary later on.
> 
> In order to get things done and know it doesn?t have to be for all day,
> even part-time it helps on taxes too if you would go that route, as well
> as, allows your son to grow and develop important social skills among many
> other benefits early on for good development- just interview daycares as
> you would a job and find a good fit. I?m not sure what area you live but I
> found one that wasn?t super expensive but had academic components as well
> and that was a great fit. It?s more than babysitting.
> 
> Other option would be find a good PT Nanny:caregiver you trust if you don?t
> have a family member or friend whom could help. Biggest acknowledgment is
> you need care and community to help. It?s difficult if not impossible to go
> it alone. For court/custody- I found most courts will opt automatically for
> 50/50? when you do have down time that way please know you?ll embrace it
> and need it for healing the wounds of divorce and it?ll make you a better
> parent too because you?ll need breaks here and there for your overall
> health and well being especially as your son grows. It?ll be hard- very
> hard at the start and stuff you?re working through now, but- know it does
> somehow  work out. If you have a good legal representation
> too hope they advise you just to document all interactions and keep a
> monthly summary like phone calls, emails, texts, appointments and when
> custody does take place when and how long etc? it?s helpful in showing
> involvement.
> Wishing you the best,
> You CAN do this-
> Christina
> 
>> On Tue, Nov 28, 2023 at 7:56?AM Esoteric Quality via BlParent <
>> blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>> I am at a point of other exhaustion at this point. My son is 7 months old,
>> and I literally do most of the work in taking care of him. His mom barely
>> has him for at the most a few hours, before she asks me to take him back. I
>> love watching my son. That isn't the issue. However, it makes it very
>> difficult for me to get essential and important things done. While I have
>> neighbors that do support me, they can only help out a few minutes at most.
>> Me and my son's mother are also in court over custody and parenting time,
>> and I am going to be pushing for the primary care position, since I am
>> doing most of the work. Anyway. My question is, how do I get more support
>> so that I can get what I need to done, while also making sure that he is
>> well cared for? I am at a loss. I don't really want to send him to daycare
>> for obvious reasons.
>> 
>> Clayton Jacobs.
>> _______________________________________________
>> BlParent mailing list
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>> BlParent:
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>> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 3
> Date: Tue, 28 Nov 2023 09:06:28 -0500
> From: Roanna Bacchus <broanna49 at gmail.com>
> To: Esoteric Quality via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blParent] How to get more support
> Message-ID: <6565f3ff.0d0a0220.cd5bc.6f29 at mx.google.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8
> 
> Hi Mr. Jacobs hope you are doing well. I wanted to commend you for reaching out to recieve more support. My name is Roanna Bcchus, and I am visually impaired. I have been totally blind since birth due to Retinopathy Of Prematurity. When I was a baby, my grandparents on my Mom's side of the family took care of me while my parents worked during the day. Most of our extended family lived close enough that they could pitch in to assist with taking care of me. I will be thinking of you as your custody battle progresses. Your neighbors might be able to provide support for a few minutes each week, but you might also consider asking your church family or relqives who live nearby.
> 
> Roanna Bacchus??
> 
>> On Nov 28, 2023 7:55 AM, Esoteric Quality via BlParent <blparent at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>> I am at a point of other exhaustion at this point. My son is 7 months old,
>> and I literally do most of the work in taking care of him. His mom barely
>> has him for at the most a few hours, before she asks me to take him back. I
>> love watching my son. That isn't the issue. However, it makes it very
>> difficult for me to get essential and important things done. While I have
>> neighbors that do support me, they can only help out a few minutes at most.
>> Me and my son's mother are also in court over custody and parenting time,
>> and I am going to be pushing for the primary care position, since I am
>> doing most of the work. Anyway. My question is, how do I get more support
>> so that I can get what I need to done, while also making sure that he is
>> well cared for? I am at a loss. I don't really want to send him to daycare
>> for obvious reasons.
>> 
>> Clayton Jacobs.
>> _______________________________________________
>> BlParent mailing list
>> BlParent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for BlParent:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/broanna49%40gmail.com
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> End of BlParent Digest, Vol 234, Issue 1
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