[Diabetes-talk] Emotions
Ed Bryant
ebryant at socket.net
Fri Nov 7 17:03:27 UTC 2008
Hi Kijuana,
It is definitely okay to vent the way you are doing, as it just shows
that you have some of the fears and frustrations that many of us had when we
were first diagnosed as a diabetic.
Regards,
Ed Bryant
----- Original Message -----
From: "K C" <kcc86 at hotmail.com>
To: "Diabetes Talk for the Blind" <diabetes-talk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, November 05, 2008 9:28 PM
Subject: Re: [Diabetes-talk] Emotions
> I'm writing this strictly off the cuff, so please forgive me if I'm just
> complaining here.
>
> This week, my first, I just don't want to stick myself. I don't know
> anything, beyond the huge amount of support I've gotten from this list,
> about controlling anything. I don't have any symptoms, nothing to base
> being in, or out of control on. This week, I don't want to hear how
> because my number is a mere 135, how it isn't any big deal. Then in the
> next breath, how I have to learn to consciously cause myself pain, put my
> blood into a meter, and interpret numbers I don't even understand.
>
> I was talking with a dear friend earlier this evening, and I tried to
> explain to him that in most cases you get time to deny, cry, scream, and
> then accept the situation if you choose to. After all, not choosing to
> use a Cane because you don't want to admit going blind may cause you
> personal pain, but you're not likely to get hit by the proverbial car.
> But in this case, someone says you have Diabetes, so you've then been hit
> by the car, and you have to get up, and do something about it, manage your
> injuries right now! This week I'm mixed between wanting to learn how to
> use the meter, start my medication, and to just cancel the order all
> together. This disease is an unknown quantity, and this week I want to
> keep it that way. But I can't.
> I hope it is all right for me to vent this way. You all can let me know
> if it isn't..
> K
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Ed Bryant" <ebryant at socket.net>
> To: "Diabetes Talk for the Blind" <diabetes-talk at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, November 05, 2008 11:31 AM
> Subject: [Diabetes-talk] Emotions
>
>
>> Hi Kijuana,
>> As I promised, the following is some information about emotions. In
>> fact, this info is part of a story called "Emotions", which appeared in
>> Voice of the Diabetic sometime back.
>> If you have questions, please feel free to ask.
>>
>> Regards,
>> Ed Bryant
>> Understandably, most diabetes education materials focus on the physical
>> aspects of the disease. This is appropriate. But the common emotional
>> ramifications of diabetes need to be taken into account. An individual's
>> emotional state may determine whether he/she prevails, or is felled by
>> circumstances.
>>
>>
>>
>> Anger
>>
>> "Why ME?" We don't know what causes diabetes. Although we can manipulate
>> statistics and use them to make predictions, we can't tell why a given
>> individual gets diabetes, or any of its ramifications. And tight control
>> helps, but it is no panacea.
>>
>> Folks used to believe that disability was the result of defective
>> character. If you developed a disease, you had brought it on yourself;
>> you were a "failure." We know better, but too many of us still judge
>> ourselves harshly, blaming ourselves for "being weak." Diabetes is not a
>> sign of weakness.
>>
>> "What did I do to deserve this?" Nobody gets diabetes, or ramifications,
>> because they "deserve them." We don't know why one person gets it, and
>> another does not. We have to do the best we can. Diabetes can be nasty
>> and unpleasant, but it is not "diabolical." It is not a punishment.
>>
>>
>>
>> Denial
>>
>> "It will never happen to ME!" Social workers and psychologists are very
>> familiar with the problem of denial, the conviction that in spite of the
>> facts, the rules do not apply in this particular case. The ramifications
>> of diabetes do not manifest immediately, but the more time spent with
>> high blood sugars, the greater the likelihood of future eye, kidney, and
>> nervous system complications. The diabetic who seeks to prove that he or
>> she is "exempt," and "gets away with it," short term, is only increasing
>> the likelihood of down-the-line problems. The literature is full of
>> stories by folks who were "non-compliant" in their youth, but saw the
>> error of their ways about the time their vision began to fail. Denial is
>> a common problem, and one that should be addressed right along with the
>> need for conscientious self-management.
>>
>> "NO! I'm not BLIND!" Sight loss brings its own denial. There are people
>> who won't use their canes, or learn Braille, or even stop driving,
>> because they cannot admit they are going blind. Some delay learning
>> adaptive skills with, "It's only temporary; I'm sure my sight will come
>> back!"
>>
>>
>>
>> Fear
>>
>> "What am I going to do? I won't be able to..." While some folks deny
>> they'll ever be affected, others swing to the opposite extreme. These
>> diabetics pay close attention, read the reports, and work diligently, but
>> for them, there are demons under the bed, and every bullet has their name
>> on it. Too many folks are convinced that a diagnosis of diabetes, or the
>> need to start injecting insulin, or blindness, or kidney failure, or any
>> of the other possible complications, means the cessation of life as they
>> know it.
>>
>> It doesn't. With proper adaptive equipment and training, blind diabetics,
>> those losing vision, even those coping with multiple ramifications, such
>> as blindness, amputation, and kidney failure, can maintain or recover
>> independence, and remain (or become!) fully productive participants in
>> mainstream society. Fear, or the use of fear to encourage diligent
>> compliance, is counter-productive, as we shall see below.
>>
>>
>>
>> Burnout
>>
>> "I'm tired of it!" Diabetes self-management is a discipline, seven days a
>> week, from now until doomsday. There are no reprieves, no opportunity to
>> take breaks, and short of a pancreas transplant, there is yet no cure.
>> There is only the routine, day after day after day.
>>
>> Some folks thrive. Presented with the facts, the need for multiple
>> monitoring and insulin injections, one young man said, "Of course I will!
>> I want to stay healthy as long as possible!" He was, and is, ready.
>> Others find the prospects daunting.
>>
>> A lifetime of dietary restrictions, regular exercise, blood glucose
>> testing, and multiple injections or oral medications can become wearing,
>> especially after a number of years with the condition. Some folks get
>> tired of it; others come to hate "doing it because they must." Still
>> others stop believing their own welfare is "worth the fuss." This is
>> "burnout," psychological rebellion against one's duties.
>>
>> When burnout leads to non-compliance, it is a recipe for trouble. Why do
>> some folks "burnout" and not others?
>>
>> The answer is attitude. The folks who thrive, who make the best of a less
>> than perfect situation, are like savvy poker players who, dealt a
>> doubtful hand, play it for all it's worth. Often these folks outperform
>> the ones holding the aces! It's not the cards you're dealt; it's how you
>> play the game.
>>
>> "Positive attitude" can mean so many different things, but here it means
>> a wholehearted belief in one's own capacities, and determination to
>> overcome all obstacles, regardless of how long it takes. If you don't
>> believe in yourself, even the small hills can look impassable.
>>
>>
>>
>> Loss of independence
>>
>> "How can I face my friends? How can I get anything done? I can't DO
>> anything!" Too many folks respond to disability, or other trauma, with
>> the "wounded animal response"-flight to solitude, to "lick one's wounds."
>> Up to a point, this is part of the grieving process, the mourning for
>> what must be let go. When it passes, rehabilitation can begin.
>>
>> But some folks "get stuck" there. Some independent, self-reliant people,
>> high achievers, can be more traumatized by their own "incapacity" than by
>> their actual physical loss. The belief: "I have lost something, and am
>> now less than I was," discourages action. This can occur with most any
>> incapacity, but is not uncommon in cases of sight loss.
>>
>> An adult type 1 diabetic, for example, may have been self-managing for 15
>> years or more, before retinopathy put an end to a sight-based lifestyle.
>> Some folks, with positive attitude, good instruction and proper adaptive
>> equipment, make a smooth transition. Others wilt.
>>
>> It's a question of attitude again, so many times. An individual is
>> accustomed to being in charge, to caring for self and others, and to
>> being "a productive member of society." In his or her mind, loss of sight
>> means the end of their capacity to continue doing so. Feeling diminished,
>> feeling ashamed, the individual withdraws from society, and stays "out of
>> circulation." Belief in his/her incapacity has become a self-fulfilling
>> prophecy.
>>
>> These people are not lazy. They are not "slackers," taking a long
>> vacation from responsibility. They are in emotional agony, grieving for
>> losses they don't know how to replace. These people need to be shown
>> their options. They need to hear of (or from!) others like themselves,
>> who have looked the demon of self-doubt in the eye and moved forward
>> anyhow. They need support groups and rehabilitation professionals who
>> will respect their self-doubts-and then show them how to overcome them.
>> Some might declare, "You can't teach attitude!" but what you can do is
>> show such a person their options, show them others who have "done it
>> themselves," and then get out of the way.
>>
>>
>>
>> The Cure
>>
>> Nothing about diabetes, or blindness, or any other disability, diminishes
>> a person's human-ness. Loss of sight, or of a limb, or of mobility and
>> independence, does not make one "incomplete." There are no "part-people"
>> out there-we're ALL fully complete, real people.
>>
>> But it hurts to have to give something up. We are not oxen, facing our
>> traumas with placid equanimity. Fear and pain are perfectly logical
>> responses. Some folks will pass smoothly through the stages of grief, and
>> be ready to learn the necessary adaptive skills. Most will need the
>> support of their fellows and the positive examples of their predecessors,
>> and will need to have their feelings validated. Passing this hurdle, they
>> are ready for, and fully capable of, independent self-management and full
>> participation in the mainstream.
>>
>> The presence of emotional issues is not a sign of weakness, but of
>> humanity. Any holistic approach to health takes a person's
>> mental/emotional state into account, right along with their specific
>> physical ramifications. We are individuals, and we heal in our own way.
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "K C" <kcc86 at hotmail.com>
>> To: "Diabetes Talk for the Blind" <diabetes-talk at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2008 4:23 AM
>> Subject: Re: [Diabetes-talk] I'm a silent Diabetic
>>
>>
>>> Thank you for the welcome. Actually I have only just gotten information
>>> about even ordering a meter yesterday. My state rehab is recommending
>>> the Prodigy auto code meter? What is the difference between that one,
>>> and the voice? I receive Medicate, and Medicare, all parts. In
>>> general, can you get new testing strips for these special meters at your
>>> local pharmacy, or do you have to order them always from Prodigy. And
>>> lastly does your list offer emotional support? I'm still in shock, and
>>> am scared to death... Before last Thursday I didn't even know I had
>>> this. Thank you all.
>>> Kijuana
>>>
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Ed Bryant" <ebryant at socket.net>
>>> To: "Diabetes Talk for the Blind" <diabetes-talk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 3:42 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [Diabetes-talk] I'm a silent Diabetic
>>>
>>>
>>>> Hi Kijuana,
>>>> I am glad you have joined our Diabetes talk list. There are
>>>> probably several ways we can assist you, but first it sounds like your
>>>> blood sugars are too high, so that should be an immediate goal to get
>>>> the sugars down.
>>>> Your doctor may have already had you do a lab called hemoglobin
>>>> A1C, which gives you your average blood sugar for a two or three month
>>>> period.
>>>> It sounds like you are testing your blood glucose levels, but there
>>>> is a fairly new blood glucose monitor out, which is pretty easy to use
>>>> for someone who is blind or has low vision. It is called the Prodigy
>>>> Voice and can be ordered from:
>>>> Homecare Supply of America
>>>>
>>>> Big Sandy, TX
>>>>
>>>> 800-333-1412
>>>>
>>>> Meter: $89.95
>>>>
>>>> Container of 50 strips: $21.95
>>>>
>>>> If you have Medicare they will pay for the meter and a few strips,
>>>> but they will only purchase you a new meter, I believe, every three
>>>> years.
>>>>
>>>> If you have Medicaid, they will help with a glucose meter, but they
>>>> can be difficult to work with. They are run state by state while
>>>> Medicare is nation wide.
>>>>
>>>> If you need to use Medicaid, please let us know, and I am sure you
>>>> will receive help from this list.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Regards,
>>>>
>>>> Ed Bryant
>>>>
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "K C" <kcc86 at hotmail.com>
>>>> To: <diabetes-talk at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 9:12 AM
>>>> Subject: [Diabetes-talk] I'm a silent Diabetic
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Hello, everyone. My name is Kijuana.
>>>>> On Thursday the 30th of October I was diagnosed with Diabetes after
>>>>> Uterine surgery on the 23rd of October. I had no idea I had it.
>>>>>
>>>>> I'm so scared! I have never had to stick myself to test my blood
>>>>> sugar or
>>>>> anything else. I know a little about it because I have had personal
>>>>> friends
>>>>> who have
>>>>> suffered major complications from this disease, and some of them have
>>>>> died.
>>>>> Logically I know it is something people live with, and control
>>>>> everyday. I
>>>>> also understand that it is a very common illness. It's just that it
>>>>> has
>>>>> never been a part of my daily life.
>>>>>
>>>>> I don't know how to act, or react now. Because I have no symptoms I
>>>>> don't
>>>>> know how to eat differently or anything else. Over the past few days
>>>>> I have
>>>>> continued to do like I always have, but the numbers on the blood tests
>>>>> say
>>>>> different. Its silence scares me more than if I had some weird
>>>>> symptoms,
>>>>> went to my Doctor, and was diagnosed then.
>>>>>
>>>>> How do you deal
>>>>> with the days, weeks, and months after diagnoses emotionally? They'll
>>>>> be a
>>>>> lot of education I'll get in the coming weeks on diet, life style
>>>>> changes,
>>>>> etc. But what I really need right now is those who're living with
>>>>> this
>>>>> disease to share their experiences with me so I can put my feet on
>>>>> some kind
>>>>> of ground. Thank you for reading all this. I feel totally
>>>>> disoriented. My
>>>>> state services for the blind leave a lot to be desired, so my
>>>>> councilor
>>>>> doesn't even know where to begin as far as purchasing a meter, testing
>>>>> supplies, etc. Any help will really be appreciated.
>>>>> Kijuana
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>
>>>>
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>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
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>>>
>>>
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>>>
>>>
>>
>>
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