[Faith-talk] need machines

[Kliph A M]

Over our doors are all choice fruits, both new and old, which I have saved
up for you, my beloved.
Song of Solomon 7:13

Without question, the biggest deterrent to romance for moms is children.
These sweet, precious, innocent little ones given to us by God are also
self-centered, untrained, unending "need machines" who can suck the life out
of our marriage. They often leave us feeling like the mother who said, "It's
ironic. Romance gave us our children, and children ended our romance." 

But motherhood can simply be a tempting excuse for giving up sex. Caught up
in her day-in-day-out responsibilities, a mother can experience a slow shift
in loyalty from husband to children. She thinks the needs of her children,
since they are so helpless and formative, are more important than the needs
of her husband. After all, he's an adult. 

True. And yet one reason why this reasoning is faulty--one reason why it's
easy for us to have little sympathy for our husband's sexual needs--is that
we as women are able to experience our femaleness simply by nurturing our
children. We feel fully alive as women when we're caring for them (that is,
when we're not totally exhausted!). We feel a deep, innate sense of
well-being and fulfillment; it is an indescribable privilege that brings us
profound satisfaction. It's what we were made to do. 

But it's only part of being a woman. God didn't create you with the capacity
and compulsion to nurture just for the sake of your children. He also meant
for you to nurture life in your husband. Maintaining this balance is one of
the biggest challenges of the parenting years; your children need to see Dad
and Mom in love. 

Nurturing life in your husband may not be as automatic as it is with your
children, but it is no less important. God will help you balance the needs
of both husband and children when you depend upon Him. 

Discuss
What are some practical, creative ways you both could keep romance alive,
even when living in a house full of children?

Pray
Pray for God's wisdom in balancing life's demands.

 

 

 

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