[Faith-talk] I am in a great delemma

[Peter Wolfe]

This is something that I agree with Linda and it's a sign that
marriage is deterating all around us. I'm waiting to get married till
after college and just taking it slow. I've realized that marriages
are done without looking into the future as much. Catholics in
particular in my opinion have probably the strongest stance of all
against divorce. Thinking about other women or things like that is
even considered adulty. I would try to work it out with her personally
and surely you can find what you initially saw in one another.

On 6/22/10, Linda Mentink <mentink at frontiernet.net> wrote:
> Hi Neil,
>
> Read 1 Corinthians 7, which will put it in the right perspective. In
> a nutshell, you married her, and you will stay with her, if you want
> to be in the center of God's will. As long as there has not been
> adultery or desertion, or one of you is a Christian and the other
> not, so you one wants to leave, you are to remain married. Since most
> of the disaster is your doing, it's up to you to repair it. You need
> to talk together, pray together, ask for forgiveness and forgive,
> counsel with your pastor and his wife if they're willing to help you,
> and pray to God to change your heart. The world would say get out and
> find another to love, but Christ says no. If you already love
> another, stop; Deb is your wife, and you are to be faithful to her,
> and have eyes and thoughts for none other.
>
> Blessings,
>
> Linda
>
> At 02:26 PM 6/17/2010, you wrote:
>>Hi everyone:  This is Neil and I am seeking some major advice.  My
>>marriage is currently in what I call "disaster Mode" and primarily
>>is my own doing, but I have a question.  Wouldn't you think that God
>>would bring someone in to your life who you are excited about?  I
>>realize many are "called to besingle but I don't believe that is the
>>case for me etc.  I know of the scripture in the book ofGenesis
>>where God said, "it is not good for man to be alone, and I have
>>prayed all my life that He would bring someone whom I could love and
>>care for.  Unfortunately, the truth is, I have never been excited
>>about Debbie from the beginning but I simply said to God, Lord if
>>you will do this for me I would be so grateful etc.  I was forty-two
>>when I met and married Debbie and I have been with her seventeen
>>years now.  To complicate matters, I have been attracted to other
>>women simply because of the attractiveness of their voice etc.  I
>>won't go in to any details here except to say, that I kno
>>  w that it is hurtful and very wrong what I have done to
>> Debbie.  She says for instance, Practice your singing, but when I
>> do, she simply tells me to be quiet, a slightly modified version of
>> that statement.  She calls me everything but late to dinner
>> etc.  What can I do?  I want to love and be loved by Debbie, at
>> least on one level, but it certainly isn't happening.  I have a
>> continual ache in my heart because I would like to experience the
>> joy, love and intimacy of a lady who  could love me for who I am in
>> spite of all my flaws, what the Bible calls "Sin.  Should I have
>> remained as a single person?  Does God really desire for me his
>> best as Jeremiah 29 Verse 11 says.  Please pray that God will help
>> both Debbie and I work things out, or that He could bring a
>> positive change, that is, that both Debbie and I find compatible
>> mates etc, or that He change my heart so that I can love her.  I
>> realize that both Psalm 14 and Psalm 63 paints the picture that
>> there is indeed "No righteo
>>  usness in us and that only God can cleanse and purify our hearts
>> through the blood of Jesus Christ etc.  Thank you for hearing all
>> my ramblings.  Have a great day and I hope that things are really
>> joyful and happy for all of you, it certainly isn't currently for
>> me.  Neil G. Vosburgh
>>
>>
>>
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Peter
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