[Faith-talk] Ministry
Denise Valkema
valkemadenise at aol.com
Wed Mar 30 11:53:31 UTC 2011
Thanks for sending this out. This is my experience with church, organizations, spinning classes & other ones @ gym, and life in general. My own family treats me with same stereotypical attitudes of blindness.
Thanks, Denise
-- Sent from Denise's Palm Pre
On Mar 29, 2011 11:43 PM, Nikki <daizies304 at comcast.net> wrote:
How's this...
THE BLIND CHURCH MEMBER: WHAT CONVERSATION IS UNLIKELY TO REVEAL
by Harvey Lauer
>From the Editor: Harvey Lauer has been a reader of the Braille Monitor for
many years. He was one of the pioneer researchers in methods of enabling
blind people to read print. He works as a researcher and computer instructor
at the Department of Veterans Affairs hospital at Hines, Illinois. The
following
article recently came into our hands. It captures the experience that many
blind church members have had and demonstrates the most effective way of
educating, reassuring, and witnessing to congregations filled with ordinary
people who fear blindness and are uncertain how to behave with blind people.
Here is what he has to say:
Note: The author gratefully acknowledges the Vision Impaired Ministry
Committee of the Northern Illinois District of the Lutheran Church-Missouri
Synod, which first commissioned this article and endorses its distribution.
"We can't ask them to help. What could they do? They are blind!" As new
members of our congregation, Bethlehem in Broadview, Illinois, that's almost
the first remark my wife and I overheard. It didn't surprise me because I
had met professors who wouldn't let me take their courses and some who
wanted to give me a good grade just because I was blind. By the time we
moved to Broadview, I was employed as a rehabilitation teacher and had to
deal regularly with stereotyped notions about disability.
My wife, Lueth, had just come from a rural community in which blindness was
poorly understood by her family and friends. They meant well but perceived
her as dependent, even as an adult. She came to the city with hopes of being
accepted as a contributing member of society. Because of her shyness she
reacted by feeling ill at ease and withdrawing. She hoped that we could find
a friendlier church, but I saw the problem differently. I knew that only
time and acquaintance would reveal whether such remarks were based on
clannishness, ignorance, or pity.
People were friendly, but that didn't help much. They told her how amazing
it was that she read and wrote Braille, something she had learned in school
and which she felt should not be considered unusual. As a result, she felt
self-conscious and would not read aloud in public.
At church gatherings we both sat a lot and must have appeared rather
helpless. People may have wondered how we did our housework. We kept a
reasonably good house, but there were two big obstacles to functioning in
church. The first was unfamiliarity with the territory. At home we knew
where to find things. At church almost nothing was ever in the same place
twice. At home awkward behavior could be laughed off; in public the
appearance of awkwardness brings not only needed assistance but sometimes
too much help and expressions of pity that are hard to take.
Talk was futile. There were two barriers. It was hard for Lueth to try new
things, and some people were reluctant to give her a chance. Some wanted to
help but didn't know how to begin. While she couldn't wait on tables
efficiently, she could have helped in the kitchen if she had known where
things were kept.
She couldn't watch children on the playground, but she could have helped in
the nursery if people had believed in her ability. She couldn't make
posters, but she had developed the ability to write and dramatize stories.
Yet she needed encouragement and acceptance. My own road to acceptance and
involvement was just as rocky.
Over the course of several years, and with the help of prayer and good
friends, our strategy took shape. We volunteered to organize the coffee
hours. Then we "forgot" to find someone to go in early to make coffee and
prepare for the activity, so the job fell to us. We went a half hour early
in order to familiarize
ourselves with the kitchen and find everything we needed. The members who
came later with coffee cakes were surprised to find us there and more
surprised to find the place set up for business.
In calling people for the next coffee hour, we found that it's easy to get
people to bring things, but harder to find someone who will go early and set
everything up. Lueth said, "Why don't we do it again?" So we did it again
and many more times after that. Each time different people who were taking
their turns would come in and find us working.
Good working relationships were formed. Lueth began to help with other
activities. People found out what she could do efficiently and gave her
those tasks. The years went by. We had birthday parties for our children and
invited members' children. We joined neighborhood Bible study groups, where
Lueth gradually gained the confidence to read passages and contribute to the
discussion. She volunteered to be a friendly visitor in convalescent homes,
where she could talk with people individually, then later read stories to
groups, and finally lead a Bible class. Now she is on the evangelism team
and an officer on the church council. In many of these activities the
Braille and recorded materials transcribed by several groups and
organizations were of great help.
Before I relate the final incident, I must tell you that so far there is
nothing unusual about this story. In fact, it is typical for blind church
members and blind people generally to be underinvolved. Why is this so?
One set of reasons stems from ignorance. Most people think blindness is a
lot more limiting than it needs to be. People think that, because they use
their vision for a given task, it must be necessary to do so, so they
conclude that those who function well without sight must be either
courageous or geniuses. The fact is that it takes different skills and tools
to function without sight. Training is important, and certain activities
like independent travel are more difficult, so fewer blind people do them
well. Even the parents of blind children seldom learn all that can be done
to maximize the ability of a blind person. Less is expected of us, so we
often react by expecting less of ourselves. Blind beggars and geniuses are
the most common stereotypes. Articles and pamphlets which discuss resources
for information and assistance are available.
What Christians call sin accounts for another set of reasons. The thought of
blindness strikes fear, wounds pride, engenders hostility, and therefore
causes guilt. It strikes fear in those who have not learned to rest secure
in the strength of the Lord. It wounds pride in those who have not fully
opened
themselves to the humility of Christ. It engenders loathing in the souls who
cannot feel God's loving presence. Guilt is felt by those who can't face
their human nature and accept God's forgiveness. No matter what they are
taught about blindness and no matter how many blind people they know, those
who are steeped in fear, pride, resentment, or guilt find it almost
impossible to relate to a blind person as an equal. They must think of
themselves as superior. When such people sustain a loss of vision
themselves, they have great difficulty adjusting to it.
Vision loss, especially sudden loss, is a blow to anyone. But after the
shock wears off, some of us perceive blindness as a stumbling block. We
exaggerate the areas of physical dependence, allowing our pride to let us
forget about the interdependence of all life. We hate even more the
demeaning attitudes which depict all blind people as helpless. We often
refuse needed help because we mistake kindness for pity.
But others among us see blindness as a stepping stone. We can enjoy most of
the world's good things, and unfortunately the bad ones as well. We have the
chance to inform where knowledge can be accepted and to forgive where
prejudice clouds minds. Our disability can be used as a vehicle for
overcoming pride. We can learn to discern between pity and kindness. Pity
comes from guilt and the desire to feel superior. Kindness is motivated by
love and the wish to do for others what one would like to have done for
oneself in the same circumstances.
Now let me tell you the rest of the story, which is not typical, but not
unusual either. We learned about it twenty years after it happened. Some
people in town told a group of church members that we should be investigated
because we were blind and probably couldn't take proper care of our
children. Nothing was
done about the suggestion because the members assured them that blindness
was no reason for such a concern. They said that our children were at least
as well cared for as theirs. It turned out that ours is not only a friendly
church, but an observant and loving one as well.
-----Original Message-----
From: Denise Valkema
Sent: Tuesday, March 29, 2011 10:05 PM
To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of faith and religion
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Ministry
Can the article be pasted in email so all can learn fr
-- Sent from Denise's Palm Pre
Om it?On Mar 29, 2011 10:42 PM, Nikki <daizies304 at comcast.net> wrote:
Alan, I hope you don't mind, but I shared that article with my friend at
church. She told me she shared it with the Pastors and they might share it
with the congregation. They will decide next week.
-----Original Message-----
From: Alan Wheeler
Sent: Monday, March 28, 2011 8:54 PM
To: 'Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion'
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Ministry
Hi,
Like I said, I have a copy of this article. It appeared in the February,
1995 Braille Monitor. I can e-mail you a copy if you wish.
-----Original Message-----
From: faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Monday, March 28, 2011 7:45 PM
To: Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Ministry
Alan, where do I get that article?
Um, I've been slowly getting to know people. Not to get too personal, after
being seperated, I decided to check out a church and I liked it. My first
time was emotional, but I got through it. I was approached by a woman that
invited me to her home for lunch after church. We talked and I explained
some confusion I was having spiritually. Then one Sunday, a woman gave her
testimony and something she said drew me to meet her. I soon found myself in
her small group of divorced parents. I was looking to make friends with
different people. Later, she had announced an engagement. I was very happy
for her. We had a change in Pastors and during that time, I stopped
attending church. IDK why. January of this year is when I started going more
steadily. getting more acquainted with the Pastors, getting introduced to
more people, attempted a Bible Study, but couldn't follow along.
I have the music pastor send me the words to the songs that'll be sung in a
week's advance.
IDK what I can do. I guess hearing other's testimonies about going to
another country and helping medically or feeding the poor, supplying
blankets, pillows, etc just drives me nuts. I wish I knew what my gifts are
I write poetry if anyone is interested in reading...
-----Original Message-----
From: Linda Mentink
Sent: Monday, March 28, 2011 6:47 PM
To: Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Ministry
Hi Nicki,
You might start by talking to some of the church members or the pastor's
wife. Explain your situation, and that you'd like to be involved. You can
learn names and pray for them; that would be a start.
Blessings,
Linda
At 05:52 PM 3/28/2011, you wrote:
> how does a blind individual help, minister, serve others
>when they themselves need help?
>_______________________________________________
>Faith-talk mailing list
>Faith-talk at nfbnet.org
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/faith-talk_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>Faith-talk:
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/faith-talk_nfbnet.org/mentink%40f
>rontiernet.net
_______________________________________________
Faith-talk mailing list
Faith-talk at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/faith-talk_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
Faith-talk:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/faith-talk_nfbnet.org/daizies304%40com
cast.net
_______________________________________________
Faith-talk mailing list
Faith-talk at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/faith-talk_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
Faith-talk:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/faith-talk_nfbnet.org/awheeler65%40win
dstream.net
_______________________________________________
Faith-talk mailing list
Faith-talk at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/faith-talk_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
Faith-talk:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/faith-talk_nfbnet.org/daizies304%40comcast.net
_______________________________________________
Faith-talk mailing list
Faith-talk at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/faith-talk_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
Faith-talk:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/faith-talk_nfbnet.org/valkemadenise%40aol.com
_______________________________________________
Faith-talk mailing list
Faith-talk at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/faith-talk_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
Faith-talk:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/faith-talk_nfbnet.org/daizies304%40comcast.net
More information about the Faith-Talk
mailing list