[Faith-talk] Ministry

Wed Mar 30 11:53:31 UTC 2011

Thanks for sending this out. This is my experience with church, organizations, spinning classes & other ones @ gym, and life in general.  My own family treats me with same stereotypical attitudes of blindness. 

Thanks, Denise

-- Sent from Denise's Palm Pre
On Mar 29, 2011 11:43 PM, Nikki <daizies304 at comcast.net> wrote: 

  How's this...

THE BLIND CHURCH MEMBER: WHAT CONVERSATION IS UNLIKELY TO REVEAL

by Harvey Lauer

>From the Editor: Harvey Lauer has been a reader of the Braille Monitor for 

many years. He was one of the pioneer researchers in methods of enabling 

blind people to read print. He works as a researcher and computer instructor 

at the Department of Veterans Affairs hospital at Hines, Illinois. The 

following

article recently came into our hands. It captures the experience that many 

blind church members have had and demonstrates the most effective way of 

educating, reassuring, and witnessing to congregations filled with ordinary 

people who fear blindness and are uncertain how to behave with blind people. 

Here is what he has to say:

Note: The author gratefully acknowledges the Vision Impaired Ministry 

Committee of the Northern Illinois District of the Lutheran Church-Missouri 

Synod, which first commissioned this article and endorses its distribution.

"We can't ask them to help. What could they do? They are blind!" As new 

members of our congregation, Bethlehem in Broadview, Illinois, that's almost 

the first remark my wife and I overheard. It didn't surprise me because I 

had met professors who wouldn't let me take their courses and some who 

wanted to give me a good grade just because I was blind. By the time we 

moved to Broadview, I was employed as a rehabilitation teacher and had to 

deal regularly with stereotyped notions about disability.

My wife, Lueth, had just come from a rural community in which blindness was 

poorly understood by her family and friends. They meant well but perceived 

her as dependent, even as an adult. She came to the city with hopes of being 

accepted as a contributing member of society. Because of her shyness she 

reacted by feeling ill at ease and withdrawing. She hoped that we could find 

a friendlier church, but I saw the problem differently. I knew that only 

time and acquaintance would reveal whether such remarks were based on 

clannishness, ignorance, or pity.

People were friendly, but that didn't help much. They told her how amazing 

it was that she read and wrote Braille, something she had learned in school 

and which she felt should not be considered unusual. As a result, she felt 

self-conscious and would not read aloud in public.

At church gatherings we both sat a lot and must have appeared rather 

helpless. People may have wondered how we did our housework. We kept a 

reasonably good house, but there were two big obstacles to functioning in 

church. The first was unfamiliarity with the territory. At home we knew 

where to find things. At church almost nothing was ever in the same place 

twice. At home awkward behavior could be laughed off; in public the 

appearance of awkwardness brings not only needed assistance but sometimes 

too much help and expressions of pity that are hard to take.

Talk was futile. There were two barriers. It was hard for Lueth to try new 

things, and some people were reluctant to give her a chance. Some wanted to 

help but didn't know how to begin. While she couldn't wait on tables 

efficiently, she could have helped in the kitchen if she had known where 

things were kept.

She couldn't watch children on the playground, but she could have helped in 

the nursery if people had believed in her ability. She couldn't make 

posters, but she had developed the ability to write and dramatize stories. 

Yet she needed encouragement and acceptance. My own road to acceptance and 

involvement was just as rocky.

Over the course of several years, and with the help of prayer and good 

friends, our strategy took shape. We volunteered to organize the coffee 

hours. Then we "forgot" to find someone to go in early to make coffee and 

prepare for the activity, so the job fell to us. We went a half hour early 

in order to familiarize

ourselves with the kitchen and find everything we needed. The members who 

came later with coffee cakes were surprised to find us there and more 

surprised to find the place set up for business.

In calling people for the next coffee hour, we found that it's easy to get 

people to bring things, but harder to find someone who will go early and set 

everything up. Lueth said, "Why don't we do it again?" So we did it again 

and many more times after that. Each time different people who were taking 

their turns would come in and find us working.

Good working relationships were formed. Lueth began to help with other 

activities. People found out what she could do efficiently and gave her 

those tasks. The years went by. We had birthday parties for our children and 

invited members' children. We joined neighborhood Bible study groups, where 

Lueth gradually gained the confidence to read passages and contribute to the 

discussion. She volunteered to be a friendly visitor in convalescent homes, 

where she could talk with people individually, then later read stories to 

groups, and finally lead a Bible class. Now she is on the evangelism team 

and an officer on the church council. In many of these activities the 

Braille and recorded materials transcribed by several groups and 

organizations were of great help.

Before I relate the final incident, I must tell you that so far there is 

nothing unusual about this story. In fact, it is typical for blind church 

members and blind people generally to be underinvolved. Why is this so?

One set of reasons stems from ignorance. Most people think blindness is a 

lot more limiting than it needs to be. People think that, because they use 

their vision for a given task, it must be necessary to do so, so they 

conclude that those who function well without sight must be either 

courageous or geniuses. The fact is that it takes different skills and tools 

to function without sight. Training is important, and certain activities 

like independent travel are more difficult, so fewer blind people do them 

well. Even the parents of blind children seldom learn all that can be done 

to maximize the ability of a blind person. Less is expected of us, so we 

often react by expecting less of ourselves. Blind beggars and geniuses are 

the most common stereotypes. Articles and pamphlets which discuss resources 

for information and assistance are available.

What Christians call sin accounts for another set of reasons. The thought of 

blindness strikes fear, wounds pride, engenders hostility, and therefore 

causes guilt. It strikes fear in those who have not learned to rest secure 

in the strength of the Lord. It wounds pride in those who have not fully 

opened

themselves to the humility of Christ. It engenders loathing in the souls who 

cannot feel God's loving presence. Guilt is felt by those who can't face 

their human nature and accept God's forgiveness. No matter what they are 

taught about blindness and no matter how many blind people they know, those 

who are steeped in fear, pride, resentment, or guilt find it almost 

impossible to relate to a blind person as an equal. They must think of 

themselves as superior. When such people sustain a loss of vision 

themselves, they have great difficulty adjusting to it.

Vision loss, especially sudden loss, is a blow to anyone. But after the 

shock wears off, some of us perceive blindness as a stumbling block. We 

exaggerate the areas of physical dependence, allowing our pride to let us 

forget about the interdependence of all life. We hate even more the 

demeaning attitudes which depict all blind people as helpless. We often 

refuse needed help because we mistake kindness for pity.

But others among us see blindness as a stepping stone. We can enjoy most of 

the world's good things, and unfortunately the bad ones as well. We have the 

chance to inform where knowledge can be accepted and to forgive where 

prejudice clouds minds. Our disability can be used as a vehicle for 

overcoming pride. We can learn to discern between pity and kindness. Pity 

comes from guilt and the desire to feel superior. Kindness is motivated by 

love and the wish to do for others what one would like to have done for 

oneself in the same circumstances.

Now let me tell you the rest of the story, which is not typical, but not 

unusual either. We learned about it twenty years after it happened. Some 

people in town told a group of church members that we should be investigated 

because we were blind and probably couldn't take proper care of our 

children. Nothing was

done about the suggestion because the members assured them that blindness 

was no reason for such a concern. They said that our children were at least 

as well cared for as theirs. It turned out that ours is not only a friendly 

church, but an observant and loving one as well.

-----Original Message----- 

From: Denise Valkema

Sent: Tuesday, March 29, 2011 10:05 PM

To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of faith and religion

Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Ministry

Can the article be pasted in email so all can learn fr

-- Sent from Denise's Palm Pre

Om it?On Mar 29, 2011 10:42 PM, Nikki <daizies304 at comcast.net> wrote:

    Alan, I hope you don't mind, but I shared that article with my friend at

church. She told me she shared it with the Pastors and they might share it

with the congregation. They will decide next week.

-----Original Message----- 

From: Alan Wheeler

Sent: Monday, March 28, 2011 8:54 PM

To: 'Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion'

Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Ministry

Hi,

Like I said, I have a copy of this article. It appeared in the February,

1995 Braille Monitor. I can e-mail you a copy if you wish.

-----Original Message-----

From: faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org]

On Behalf Of Nikki

Sent: Monday, March 28, 2011 7:45 PM

To: Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion

Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Ministry

    Alan, where do I get that article?

Um, I've been slowly getting to know people. Not to get too personal, after

being seperated, I decided to check out a church and I liked it. My first

time was emotional, but I got through it. I was approached by a woman that

invited me to her home for lunch after church. We talked and I explained

some confusion I was having spiritually. Then one Sunday, a woman gave her

testimony and something she said drew me to meet her. I soon found myself in

her small group of divorced parents. I was looking to make friends with

different people. Later, she had announced an engagement. I was very happy

for her. We had a change in Pastors and during that time, I stopped

attending church. IDK why. January of this year is when I started going more

steadily. getting more acquainted with the Pastors, getting introduced to

more people, attempted a Bible Study, but couldn't follow along.

I have the music pastor send me the words to the songs that'll be sung in a

week's advance.

IDK what I can do. I guess hearing other's testimonies about going to

another country and helping medically or feeding the poor, supplying

blankets, pillows, etc just drives me nuts. I wish I knew what my gifts are

I write poetry if anyone is interested in reading...

-----Original Message-----

From: Linda Mentink

Sent: Monday, March 28, 2011 6:47 PM

To: Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion

Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Ministry

Hi Nicki,

You might start by talking to some of the church members or the pastor's

wife. Explain your situation, and that you'd like to be involved. You can

learn names and pray for them; that would be a start.

Blessings,

Linda

At 05:52 PM 3/28/2011, you wrote:

>             how does a blind individual help, minister, serve others

>when  they themselves need help?

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