[Faith-talk] blindness and faith issues question

[Beth Taurasi]

Dear List members,
I don't normally post here much, but I have a situation that calls for 
some blindness education, but it seems like all the blindness education 
is going nowhere.  I had a little phone conference with my church's 
pastor, Glynn, and he told me that all practicalities are trumped by the 
Bible's commandment for women and men not to sleep in the same 
apartment, no questions asked.  He didn't approach it in a nasty way, 
but I'm concerned.  Blake, my boyfriend from Arizona, is an alumni of 
the CCB.  He's coming over here to spend a week with me in Denver, but 
we've got the problem of the church saying he shouldn't sleep in my 
apartment.  Well, even if he didn't, the building I live in has some bad 
people in it.  Case in point, there was a guy so demented in the laundry 
room once that demanded I not touch his clothes, and I told him in a 
rather curt way that "I'm blind, I had no clue those were yours."  
Because of this, I have an aversion to community laundry rooms.  A 
caregiver goes down and does my laundry for me.  Plus the machines are 
not ADA compliant.  Ugh.
But that's beside the point.  It  just proves that some males don't know 
how to take care of themselves in this building.  The other option the 
church gave me was to have Blake's mother with him on the trip.  Nope.  
That's not possible, Blake wants to see me and only me, and his mom 
doesn't want to come.  Reasonably, I think this is fine since Kathy, the 
mother, does not have any motivation much to get up and go to exotic 
places or whatever.  All she is doing these days is working the studio.  
She teaches tai kwon do.  Blake on the other hand is no longer active in 
the studio.
The church has also suggested that Blake live somewhere but not my 
apartment for the week.  I keep explaining that my apartment building is 
located near a bus line, the 9.  Glynn didn't seem to think this was ok 
though.  Blake and I have prepared for this moment, where the church 
people tell us not to stay in the apartment together.  Hey, we don't 
want to have sex or anything stupid, we just need places to sleep.  
Where in the Bible would it justify Blake having to sleep somewhere 
else, outside the apartment's walls?
Then, Blake and I discussed Glynn's weird thoughts.  Blake suggests 
Glynn tour the CCB.  I plan to explain the situation a bit clearer to 
Glynn: Blind people must live near a bus or light rail, must have 
tactile microwave buttons which hotels don't have, must have a labeled 
and marked environment which a lot of hotels don't have, and more 
importantly, for Blake, must have someone his mother trusts. She doesn't 
trust all males in my building because she's never met them.  Kathy 
can't meet those people because she is not apt to going to Denver.  
Kathy is a worried mother who lost her other son to a murder suicide, 
which I won't go into.  All I'll say is that it was the boy's sick 
girlfriend who killed him.  Kathy now knows I would NEVER kill her son.  
Why would I!
Of course, Glynn tries to put his Biblical commands in the way of 
independence.  Where, I ask, does independence end and biblicality 
begin?  Where do my rights as a blind person end and the right of 
Christians begin?  Does Jesus know all this could take place?  He healed 
the blind, not taught them skills.  I also graduated the CCB, so skills 
are important.  I can travel, and from time to time, I take a bus 
downtown.  Not bad, you say, but with those resources, I can also get 
door to door transit via access a ride.  Blake needs to be able to take 
advantage of that transit.  So it looks easy to say and I conclude that 
Blake must stay here, but what do you guys think of this!  What do you 
guys say would be a solution to the problem? We understand that sex 
belongs in the context of marriage.  It is legitimate to think this way, 
and the bodies are from a fallen world, but I want a forward answer as 
to what we could do to solve the church and our problem?  What should 
Blake and I say to Glynn about the sleeping arrangements if they are 
brought up again? Should Glynn, the pastor, go on a tour of CCB and talk 
to staff about their lives as blind professionals?  Do you think as a 
Christian who is blind that there need to be modifications made to a 
lifestyle where cars are the norm?  Thanks in advance.
Beth

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