[Faith-talk] blindness and faith issues question

Wed Dec 17 20:50:18 UTC 2014

Hello Beth,
I agree. Why do you even have to tell your church anything? Who cares what they think. I have heard it said the church needs to stay out of your bedroom. Sometimes you just have to do what is easier for you. It’s not like your pastor is going to stop over and check on you like you are a child. Since, last I checked, you are an adult, why not act like one and do what is easier for you? I’m pretty sure Jesus understands since he knows you heart more than anyone could. You want to do right, and that’s fine. My husband and I always slept in the same bed before marriage, well not in front of my mom, but we never did anything till we got married. It’s just nice to have someone with you at night, and sometimes you need to do what is best for you.

We don’t even have original copies of the Bible, so we don’t know what was truly said. We can only suspect and do the best we can.

I suggest changing your church if your pastor doesn’t understand. However, I don’t see the need to say a word to anyone about what you and your boyfriend do, not to your pastor or anyone. It’s none of their business anyway, so why share it with people who don’t need to know?

Good luck and I hope things turn out better for you.

Christine
> On Dec 17, 2014, at 3:34 PM, adrijana prokopenko via Faith-talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Sorry you are experiencing this, if you got a pastor who can't and
> doesn't understand blindness and connects it sleeping in a same room
> with having sex, I think you should change your church and find more
> supportive people. You don't need to explain anything to anyone about
> this guy, if he is nice and wants to stay with you, he has the right
> to, all you could do is to take him meet these people and if they
> still think badly of him, they could say it then and there. Good luck.
> 
> On 12/17/14, Beth Taurasi via Faith-talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org <mailto:faith-talk at nfbnet.org>> wrote:
>> Dear List members,
>> I don't normally post here much, but I have a situation that calls for
>> some blindness education, but it seems like all the blindness education
>> is going nowhere.  I had a little phone conference with my church's
>> pastor, Glynn, and he told me that all practicalities are trumped by the
>> Bible's commandment for women and men not to sleep in the same
>> apartment, no questions asked.  He didn't approach it in a nasty way,
>> but I'm concerned.  Blake, my boyfriend from Arizona, is an alumni of
>> the CCB.  He's coming over here to spend a week with me in Denver, but
>> we've got the problem of the church saying he shouldn't sleep in my
>> apartment.  Well, even if he didn't, the building I live in has some bad
>> people in it.  Case in point, there was a guy so demented in the laundry
>> room once that demanded I not touch his clothes, and I told him in a
>> rather curt way that "I'm blind, I had no clue those were yours."
>> Because of this, I have an aversion to community laundry rooms.  A
>> caregiver goes down and does my laundry for me.  Plus the machines are
>> not ADA compliant.  Ugh.
>> But that's beside the point.  It  just proves that some males don't know
>> how to take care of themselves in this building.  The other option the
>> church gave me was to have Blake's mother with him on the trip.  Nope.
>> That's not possible, Blake wants to see me and only me, and his mom
>> doesn't want to come.  Reasonably, I think this is fine since Kathy, the
>> mother, does not have any motivation much to get up and go to exotic
>> places or whatever.  All she is doing these days is working the studio.
>> She teaches tai kwon do.  Blake on the other hand is no longer active in
>> the studio.
>> The church has also suggested that Blake live somewhere but not my
>> apartment for the week.  I keep explaining that my apartment building is
>> located near a bus line, the 9.  Glynn didn't seem to think this was ok
>> though.  Blake and I have prepared for this moment, where the church
>> people tell us not to stay in the apartment together.  Hey, we don't
>> want to have sex or anything stupid, we just need places to sleep.
>> Where in the Bible would it justify Blake having to sleep somewhere
>> else, outside the apartment's walls?
>> Then, Blake and I discussed Glynn's weird thoughts.  Blake suggests
>> Glynn tour the CCB.  I plan to explain the situation a bit clearer to
>> Glynn: Blind people must live near a bus or light rail, must have
>> tactile microwave buttons which hotels don't have, must have a labeled
>> and marked environment which a lot of hotels don't have, and more
>> importantly, for Blake, must have someone his mother trusts. She doesn't
>> trust all males in my building because she's never met them.  Kathy
>> can't meet those people because she is not apt to going to Denver.
>> Kathy is a worried mother who lost her other son to a murder suicide,
>> which I won't go into.  All I'll say is that it was the boy's sick
>> girlfriend who killed him.  Kathy now knows I would NEVER kill her son.
>> Why would I!
>> Of course, Glynn tries to put his Biblical commands in the way of
>> independence.  Where, I ask, does independence end and biblicality
>> begin?  Where do my rights as a blind person end and the right of
>> Christians begin?  Does Jesus know all this could take place?  He healed
>> the blind, not taught them skills.  I also graduated the CCB, so skills
>> are important.  I can travel, and from time to time, I take a bus
>> downtown.  Not bad, you say, but with those resources, I can also get
>> door to door transit via access a ride.  Blake needs to be able to take
>> advantage of that transit.  So it looks easy to say and I conclude that
>> Blake must stay here, but what do you guys think of this!  What do you
>> guys say would be a solution to the problem? We understand that sex
>> belongs in the context of marriage.  It is legitimate to think this way,
>> and the bodies are from a fallen world, but I want a forward answer as
>> to what we could do to solve the church and our problem?  What should
>> Blake and I say to Glynn about the sleeping arrangements if they are
>> brought up again? Should Glynn, the pastor, go on a tour of CCB and talk
>> to staff about their lives as blind professionals?  Do you think as a
>> Christian who is blind that there need to be modifications made to a
>> lifestyle where cars are the norm?  Thanks in advance.
>> Beth
>> 
>> --
>> Check out my Wordpress blog: denverqueen.wordpress.com or you can reach me
>> by skype at denverqueen0920
>> 
>> 
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>> 
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