[Faith-talk] blindness and faith issues question

[Sheila Leigland]

hi Beth I wanted to read the entire thread before I weighed in on this 
subject. When my husband who is also totally blind were dating, we 
didn't want to spend our evenings together with his mother so most of 
the tie I cooked dinner and he came over for the evening. It was maybe 
once or twice a week and it never involved overnight stays.
the only evening transportation was cab so going out for dinners and 
such was to costly. so I do understand the questions that you have. It 
bothers me that people got involved by going to your pastor about this. 
I wonder if they would do this if you had been sighted. My hunch is 
probably not. That bothers me more than your pastor's advice. It would 
be differrrent if you had gone directly to your pastor. My pastor know 
that is I need his help I will go to him directly and he knows that my 
husband expect the same advice when it comes to moral and spiritual 
matters whether we are blind or not. We had this conversation early in 
our relationship to this church.
On 12/17/2014 1:16 PM, Beth Taurasi via Faith-talk wrote:
> Dear List members,
> I don't normally post here much, but I have a situation that calls for 
> some blindness education, but it seems like all the blindness 
> education is going nowhere.  I had a little phone conference with my 
> church's pastor, Glynn, and he told me that all practicalities are 
> trumped by the Bible's commandment for women and men not to sleep in 
> the same apartment, no questions asked.  He didn't approach it in a 
> nasty way, but I'm concerned.  Blake, my boyfriend from Arizona, is an 
> alumni of the CCB.  He's coming over here to spend a week with me in 
> Denver, but we've got the problem of the church saying he shouldn't 
> sleep in my apartment.  Well, even if he didn't, the building I live 
> in has some bad people in it.  Case in point, there was a guy so 
> demented in the laundry room once that demanded I not touch his 
> clothes, and I told him in a rather curt way that "I'm blind, I had no 
> clue those were yours."  Because of this, I have an aversion to 
> community laundry rooms.  A caregiver goes down and does my laundry 
> for me.  Plus the machines are not ADA compliant.  Ugh.
> But that's beside the point.  It  just proves that some males don't 
> know how to take care of themselves in this building.  The other 
> option the church gave me was to have Blake's mother with him on the 
> trip.  Nope.  That's not possible, Blake wants to see me and only me, 
> and his mom doesn't want to come.  Reasonably, I think this is fine 
> since Kathy, the mother, does not have any motivation much to get up 
> and go to exotic places or whatever. All she is doing these days is 
> working the studio.  She teaches tai kwon do.  Blake on the other hand 
> is no longer active in the studio.
> The church has also suggested that Blake live somewhere but not my 
> apartment for the week.  I keep explaining that my apartment building 
> is located near a bus line, the 9.  Glynn didn't seem to think this 
> was ok though.  Blake and I have prepared for this moment, where the 
> church people tell us not to stay in the apartment together.  Hey, we 
> don't want to have sex or anything stupid, we just need places to 
> sleep.  Where in the Bible would it justify Blake having to sleep 
> somewhere else, outside the apartment's walls?
> Then, Blake and I discussed Glynn's weird thoughts.  Blake suggests 
> Glynn tour the CCB.  I plan to explain the situation a bit clearer to 
> Glynn: Blind people must live near a bus or light rail, must have 
> tactile microwave buttons which hotels don't have, must have a labeled 
> and marked environment which a lot of hotels don't have, and more 
> importantly, for Blake, must have someone his mother trusts. She 
> doesn't trust all males in my building because she's never met them.  
> Kathy can't meet those people because she is not apt to going to 
> Denver.  Kathy is a worried mother who lost her other son to a murder 
> suicide, which I won't go into.  All I'll say is that it was the boy's 
> sick girlfriend who killed him. Kathy now knows I would NEVER kill her 
> son.  Why would I!
> Of course, Glynn tries to put his Biblical commands in the way of 
> independence.  Where, I ask, does independence end and biblicality 
> begin?  Where do my rights as a blind person end and the right of 
> Christians begin?  Does Jesus know all this could take place?  He 
> healed the blind, not taught them skills.  I also graduated the CCB, 
> so skills are important.  I can travel, and from time to time, I take 
> a bus downtown.  Not bad, you say, but with those resources, I can 
> also get door to door transit via access a ride. Blake needs to be 
> able to take advantage of that transit.  So it looks easy to say and I 
> conclude that Blake must stay here, but what do you guys think of 
> this!  What do you guys say would be a solution to the problem? We 
> understand that sex belongs in the context of marriage.  It is 
> legitimate to think this way, and the bodies are from a fallen world, 
> but I want a forward answer as to what we could do to solve the church 
> and our problem?  What should Blake and I say to Glynn about the 
> sleeping arrangements if they are brought up again? Should Glynn, the 
> pastor, go on a tour of CCB and talk to staff about their lives as 
> blind professionals? Do you think as a Christian who is blind that 
> there need to be modifications made to a lifestyle where cars are the 
> norm?  Thanks in advance.
> Beth
>