[Faith-talk] Why divorce occurs. Part 2.

[Mostafa]

Dear all, peace be with you.

Today, with the Will of Allah, we are going to continue what we have started yesterday.

I will just summarize the first part, so you can make a connection.

Yesterday, we talked about the atrocious fact that many familys are living in precarious conditions nowadays.

We also talked about the major causes of family destructions and spousal disassociations. 

Well amongst them are Children custody, desertions, betrayals, revilements, mental or physical violence, indigence, and constant miscommunications.

We referred to the grave amount of spousal disassociations due to exposing unfaithful involvements, cheating husbands or wives.

We also pointed at the fact that there are two many reasons which leads to this aggrieve destiny of family dissolutions.

Well onto the top of them are the trust loss, or the lack of transparency, and the public denigration from the husband to his wife.

    So today we are going to continue.

There is another important reason, which in my opinion, it instantly leads to family demolitions, and that is stinginess.

Stinginess, a threatening disease to the prosperity of the family.

I am not just talking about material stinginess, but I am also talking about emotional stinginess, which is even worse.

Material stinginess is the decline to spend money on the household expenses.

It also could extend to the refusal to participate in the domestic chores, but generally speaking, it is more about spending money.

At the phase of prophet Muhammad, a woman came to him, and she complaint about her husband being quite stingy.

On the spot, the prophet permitted her to take what she needs from his money without even his notice, conditionally, to do that moderately, and it has to do with her honesty.

So it is plainly explicit that Islam permits to the wife to take money from the husband unwillingly, or even without notifying him, if the man is really stingy, and he does not pay the electricity bill, for instance.

Islam substantially condemns stinginess.
The more dangerous type of stinginess is the emotional one.

It is quite saddening when either the husband or the wife do not have the sufficient adequacy to express affectional phrases to each other.

   But to be perfectly fair, it is  a husband problem much more than a wife one.

Most men are unable to express their affection regularly, and particularly, in times of distress or despair. 

        Perhaps that is due to the deficiency of affection rhetoric.

But for the woman, when times of distress or despair comes, that is when she desperately demands further attention, more sweet words, much kindness, more leniency, and especially, at the times of her menstruation cycle.  

For the husband, it is not necessary to be romantically fluent to give her what she needs.

Well, I would like to assure most men, that a bouquet of flower with sincere passion will be quite enough to make the day of your partner.

  Marital life is essentially all about empathy, exchanging emotions, expressing affection, appreciating mutual interests, helping each other, and to licitly consume our desires with warmth and compassion.

Well, that is what I have got for the time being.

I intended to be beneficial, concise and thorough, so I hope I was.

In the meantime, and until Allah Wills me to render another post, stay blessedly in His Grace, and peace be with you.