[Faith-talk] some updates on Nick, and my day summarized

[Vejas Vasiliauskas]

Hi,
I think separation from girlfriends is classified as abuse.  
These people are adults, after all.
I think it makes perfect sense to have separate sleeping 
accommodations for boys and girls.  That's perfectly normal.
However, I could be wrong but Beth made it sound like they can't 
talk to each other at all.  It would be like living in the same 
house as my brother but not being allowed to say "hi" to him.
That I think is wrong.
Vejas
 ----- Original Message -----
From: Ashley Bramlett via Faith-talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org
To: "Debby Phillips" <semisweetdebby at gmail.com>, "Faith-talk,for 
the discussion of faith and religion" <faith-talk at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Sat, 17 Jan 2015 12:06:49 -0500
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] some updates on Nick, and my day 
summarized

Debbie,
I have some of the same questions.  The emails were not clear; 
Beth did not
even explain his disabilities originally.
Some of the issues she brought up do not seem like abuse, IMO.

Not having an iphone is not abuse.  Separation from girlfriends 
in the home
is not abuse either.
The only thing smelling of abuse is the group home's failure to 
respect his
privacy while Beth and he talk.

There are bad and good group homes.  And I'd say that some people 
belong
there, while others do not.  It depends on the disability too; 
some autistic
people can live independently and others cannot.

As you proceed Beth, I'd suggest you have a plan in mind what you 
want to
have done with him.  You do not want  him in a worse situation 
whether its in
a group home or someplace else.
Its fine to expose places if they are really doing wrong, if they 
are really
abusive, but you then should have a plan to deal with the people 
in the
group home.  Where should they go and who will care for them? Not 
everyone
has family to care  for them, and not everyone can get a 
competetive job who
has severe multiple disabilities and even if they have the 
capacity to live
on their own, some cannot afford to.  Heck, I know many young 
sighted
nondisabled people who live with family or friends because they 
cannot
afford to live on their own.

So do proceed, but also decide what you want to happen.  Do you 
want to
expose the group home for what it is? Do you want a call for it 
to be
reformed  or closed? Generally when you go to the media about 
something, you
want a plan of action and points to discuss with them called 
talking points.
So figure out what that is and go ahead.

I suspect he is in the group home for other disabilities, not his 
blindness.


Good luck.

Ashley


-----Original Message-----
From: Debby Phillips via Faith-talk
Sent: Friday, January 16, 2015 9:52 PM
To: Vejas Vasiliauskas ; Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith 
and religion
; joltingjacksandefur at gmail.com ; faith-talk at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] some updates on Nick, and my day 
summarized

Perhaps some of us have missed some earlier emails.  Please Beth,
articulately explain how this group home has abused Nick.  You
say he cannot have an iphone.  Well, they are expensive.  Perhaps
Nick doesn't have enough money for one.  You say that Nick has to
follow rules, and can't talk to his girlfriend.  Please explain
why.  Why was Nick placed in the group home in the first place?
Who made the decision? Has Nick been on his own before? If so,
what happened? If I were a pastor of his church, I would want to
know these things.  I have seen people who absolutely should NOT
be on their own.  Not just because they can't do stuff on their
own, but because they are vulnerable and people have taken
advantage of them.  Please don't misunderstand me here.  No one
should be abused, and if that is happening then there are good
ways to handle these things.  Getting the media involved may
indeed have to be done.  But we need to use prudence.  And if I
were a pastor, I would want to know more facts.  People get
excited and emotional about when they hear someone is in a bad
situation.  Believe me, I will and have advocated for people who
were not getting what they needed.  But I had all my facts, and
eventually did get what was needed to happen.    Blessings,
Debby and Neena

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