[Faith-talk] {Spam?} Conquering Complaining by Rick Ezell

[debby]

This is a very good article, and I appreciate that you sent it. I certainly saw myself in all of these, and I bet if we're honest we can see where we have been all of these types of -plainers.    Blessings,    Debby

On Nov 1, 2016 10:34 AM, Paul Smith via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> Hey folks, how many of us have done some complaining at one time or 
> other in our lives? I would say that we've all done it to one extent or 
> another.  Brother Ezell, a writer and pastor in Greer, South Carolina, 
> addresses this issue in the following article. 
>
> I was at lunch with Bill, a friend, when Jon sat down at our table.  
> Uninvited, I might add.  Jon began to dominate the conversation.  He 
> whined about the weather.  He criticized the waiter's service.  And 
> when he tasted the food, he went into a full rant about how horrible it was. 
>
> Bill asked Jon, "What's gotten into you? It seems that all you can do 
> is gripe." 
>
> "Well," replied John, "I guess complaining is my spiritual gift." 
>
> Jon is like certain people.  They never seem to speak unless it is a 
> word of complaint. 
>
> Why do we find ourselves harshly criticizing someone from church? 
> grumbling bitterly over minor annoyances? demanding that people and 
> groups meet our needs? critiquing how organizations are run? raising 
> our voices to prove a point? 
>
> We know in our spirits that our words are destructive, wrong, and 
> sabotage our witness.  Why do we repeatedly complain and criticize, no 
> matter how many times we resolve to "do better next time?" All too 
> often we can relate to the Apostle James's assessment, "No man can tame 
> the tongue.  It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison" (James 3:8). 
>
> Complaining is a kill-joy.  It makes us and everybody around us 
> unhappy.  Yet the habit is hard to break because many people's natural 
> tendency is toward negativism. 
>
>
>
> Types of Complainers 
>
> Complainers show up in a multitude of forms, and they've been around a 
> long time. 
>
> 1.  Whiners 
>
> They wake up being negative and stay that way all day long, saying:  
> "It's not fair.  I don't deserve this.  Everybody else gets all the 
> breaks." Case in point:  David.  The Old Testament hero was a constant 
> whiner.  I read the Psalms.  The truth is, life is not fair.  God never 
> said it would be.  As long as we complain about life not being fair it 
> only makes for more misery.  But it will not change the fact that life 
> is not always fair.  We do know that God is fair and He will settle the score. 
>
> 2.  Martyrs 
>
> Forever the victims, their favorite line is:  "No one appreciates me." 
> Martyrs are downers, unhappy about the pain in their life, reluctant to 
> do anything about it, and more than happy to spread their pity and 
> joyless life around.  Moses is the prime candidate.  He thought he 
> could do everything alone.  He didn't need any help.  But he almost 
> broke under the weight. 
>
> 3.  Cynics 
>
> Their lives are like a rear dog on a dog sled team--the scenery never 
> changes.  Solomon suffered from this complaining curse.  He wrote, 
> "Meaningless! Meaningless! ... What do people gain from all their 
> labors at which they toil under the sun? Generations come and 
> generations go, but the earth remains forever" (Ecclesiastes 1:2-4). 
>
> 4.  Perfectionists 
>
> They are never satisfied.  Nothing or no one is ever right or good 
> enough.  They love to point out others' flaws and mistakes.  The writer 
> of Proverbs spoke of some wives, but it's applicable to all people:  "A 
> quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm" 
> (Proverbs 27:15).  And "Better to live in a desert than with a 
> quarrelsome and nagging wife" (21:19).  Nothing is ever right for 
> nagging perfectionists.  Nothing destroys the warmth of a home or a 
> church quicker than complaining. 
>
> 5.  Critics 
>
> Constantly complaining and giving unwanted advice, critics can be 
> judgmental, arrogant, and nitpicky.  Nehemiah encountered three when he 
> led the people of Jerusalem to rebuild the wall.  "When Sanballat the 
> Horonite, Tobiah the Ammonite official and Geshem the Arab heard about 
> it, they mocked and ridiculed us" (Nehemiah 1:19).  Critics find a 
> cloud in every silver lining.  They often run in herds.  They work 
> behind the scenes, murmurring and whispering.  You often see them in 
> corners whispering with hushed breath. 
>
> 6.  Gossips 
>
> They spread rumors and damage reputations.  Paul spoke of them in his 
> first letter to Timothy:  "gossips and busybodies, saying what they 
> should not" (1 Timothy 5:13, English Standard Version).  A person's 
> reputation is their most precious possession.  Gossips rob people of 
> their good name.  They are the over-the-fence or at-the-water cooler 
> types who find it hard to keep a secret, damaging individuals and 
> organizations. 
>
> Steps To Conquer Complaining 
>
> So what do we do to rid this toxic talk?  Here are a few steps. 
>
> 1.  Acknowledge the complainer in you. 
>
> Often teh most difficult part of conquering complaining is recognizing 
> it in yourself.  If someone recorded your conversations for a week, 
> what would it reveal about your speech? As you examine the six types of 
> complainers listed, which are you most like? Complaining isn't just a 
> bad habit; it is a sin.  We need to admit it and confess it.  Remember 
> that God takes complaining very seriously.  The Hebrew people wanderin 
> in the desert on their way to the Promised Land complained repeatedly.  
> God destroyed them in the desert because of their grumbling. 
>
> 2.  Accept responsibility for your own life. 
>
> "If it is to be, it is up to me," states the familiar adage.  A mother 
> asked her small son what he would like to have for his birthday.  "I'd 
> like a little brother," the boy said. 
>
> "Oh my, that's such a big wish," said the mother.  "Why do you want a 
> little brother?" 
>
> "Well," said the boy, "there's only so much I can blame on the dog."  
> Many times our complaining is just an attempt to blame other people for 
> the problems we have created.  Don't complain how the ball bounces if 
> you drop it.  We have no right to complain if we brought on the 
> problems in our life.  Many times complaining is just an excuse to be 
> irresponsible and not to accept the fact that we caused the situation.  
> We reap what we sow; therefore we have no legitimate right to complain 
> about the results. 
>
> 3.  Give thanks. 
>
> "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in 
> Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:18).  Instead of complaining and 
> arguing, give thanks.  As we begin to grasp all God has done for us, 
> and as we decide to focus on those things daily, our hearts will 
> overflow with gratefulness.  We can't always be thankful _for the 
> circumstances, but we can be thankful _in the circumstances.  God's 
> purpose for our life is greater than our problems, so in everything we 
> can give thanks. 
>
> 4.  Look for God's hand in circumstances. 
>
> We will have problems; life has its share of frustrations, obstacles, 
> and difficult people.  Yet God often uses those to shape us more like 
> His Son.  The reason we are told over and over in the Bible not to 
> complain is that complaining, in essence, is rebellion against God.  
> When we complain about the circumstances beyond our control, we are not 
> trusting God.  Often the things we complain about the most are the very 
> things God uses to make us more like Jesus. 
>
> 5.  Practice positive speaking. 
>
> Complaining is a habit.  Habits are only broken by replacement with 
> something else.  Take out the negative complaining and replace it with 
> positive speaking.  To practice positive speaking, you may have to talk 
> less.  Like the old saying, "If you can't say anything good, don't say 
> anything at all." You may have to slow down your speech.  Sometimes our 
> mouths are engaged before our brain.  Words have a unique 
> characteristic:  Once spoken they can never be retrieved. 
>
> I heard an amusing story about a minister who announced he was passing 
> out miniature crosses made of palm leaves.  "Put this cross in the room 
> where your family argues most," he advised.  "When you look at it, the 
> cross will remind you that God is watching." A woman walked up after 
> the service, shook his hand, and said, "I'll take five." 
>
> The fact is that having a cross in a room won't stop complaining.  
> Crosses in churches have not stopped people from complaining for 
> generations.  The problem with our words is not with our mouths; it's 
> with our hearts.  We need to allow God to transform our hearts.  Until 
> then, sermons or crosses won't do much good.  The cross must not just 
> be in the room; it must be in the heart. 
>
> And there you have Pastor Ezell's insights into complaining which I 
> hope gave you individually and collectively some insights into your 
> complaining.  Until tomorrow when, Lord willing another timely article 
> will be posted, may the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob keep us safe, 
> individually and collectively, in these last days in which we live.  
> Your Christian friend and brother, Paul 
>
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