[Faith-talk] Complaints

Tue Sep 6 13:14:44 UTC 2016

Hi, Linda.

Perhaps all of us would do well to take a deep breath before interpreting 
any particular tone in someone else's message. It is common for people to 
make suggestions in a statement form, but that doesn't mean a person is 
giving an order. If Ericka has information from Augsburg Fortress on CD, it 
likely doesn't include the address info like things do from Bard. It's ok to 
let her know that kind of info would be needed in order to facilitate a 
contact. I have some further thoughts that I will start this morning but my 
time is limited so they probably should become the beginning of a dialogue 
of sorts.

Sarah Blake LaRose, M.Div., accessible instruction in biblical languages
Personal mail: sarah at sarahblakelarose.com
http://www.sarahblakelarose.com
Info for seminaries and faith communities: http://www.night-light.org
-----Original Message----- 
From: Linda Mentink via Faith-Talk
Sent: Tuesday, September 06, 2016 2:34 AM
To: Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion
Cc: Linda Mentink
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Complaints

Hi Sarah,

I wasn't intentionally being hostile.  It was just that all of a
sudden all these stories came out, and Ericka was telling me to
contact Augsburg Fortress in Minneapolis, Minnesota, like she was
ordering me around, and not giving any information for them so
that I could be contacted.  Mostly, I think it's sometimes the
tone in emails, which is hard to get across.

If you're sure that if, for example, Tom Anderson or I would go
to bat for you with a national division behind us, then well and
good; don't ask for our help.  If you want to handle things on
your own, great; do it.  You took the whole tone of my message as
hostility, and that's not the way it was meantddWhen I hear
questions on the list such as was posted by Ericka, something
like, "Why doesn't the NFB defend Peter Heidi because he can't
get a job as a pastor; after all, the the church has steps, and
wouldn't hire him because of the steps?", I am frustrated.  As I
said, noone knew about the problem.  We can't defend something or
someone we don't know about.  And maybe his church, like yours,
wouldn't listen to the NFB anyway.

Was I being hostlile when I said I was sorry to hear about all
these stories? Absolutely not, and you took it that way.  Like I
said, it's sometimes hard to tell the tone of emails; it's much
easier when talking over the phone or face to face, which isn't
happening right now, but may.

Blessings,

Linda----- Original Message -----
From: Sarah Blake LaRose via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org
To: "Faith-talk,for the discussion of faith and religion"
<faith-talk at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Tue, 6 Sep 2016 00:34:41 -0400
Subject: Re: [Faith-talk] Complaints

Hi, Linda.

Why are you being so hostile? Perhaps some of these people have
never had
the opportunity or felt they had permission to admit there was a
problem in
the first place.  I would like to help you understand that some
of these
problems in churches can't always be confronted in the ways you
are
proposing.  If I asked the NFB to contact my church, it would
make tensions
between me and certain people much worse.  There are important
reasons for
this.  Some have to do with the church, some have to do with me
being in a
place of leadership and expected to practice good conflict
management, and
some also have to do with me and the NFB.  If I'm part of an
organization
that works for change but I don't do any of the work myself, then
I'm not
working this out very well.  People are at different places
figuring out how
to do this.  It's not good if we can't listen to each other's
woundedness in
the process of helping each other learn how to be strong
self-advocates.

In any case, I'm sorry that you're learning so much about
people's
disappointing experiences and that it seems to be unnerving to
you.  These
things don't have quick fixes like employment problems.  That
isn't a
complaint.  It is a fact.  This is something I have had lengthy
discussions
about with people within my denomination who are involved with
deaf
ministry, women's ministry, and race reconciliation.  There are
many
similarities with all of these areas.  This is why I am now back
in school so
that I can teach in the seminary and help to educate the
church--that is my
long-term proactive strategy to reach beyond my immediate
personal need.

While you have had a negative response to the discussions today,
the posts
have been very enlightening for me about what has been going on
for people
who I don't know well.  I have appreciated the opportunity to
learn from
everyone on the list about their experiences.

Sarah Blake LaRose, M.Div., accessible instruction in biblical
languages
Personal mail: sarah at sarahblakelarose.com
http://www.sarahblakelarose.com
Info for seminaries and faith communities:
http://www.night-light.org
-----Original Message-----
From: Linda Mentink via Faith-Talk
Sent: Monday, September 05, 2016 5:05 PM
To: Faith-talk
Cc: Linda Mentink
Subject: [Faith-talk] Complaints

Hi All,

I feel as if some of you are attacking the division for not
stepping forward and getting your needs met.  Please stop.
Please write to Tom Anderson, or call him, tell him what the
trouble is, and give him contact information for the church or
publisher you are unhappy with.  But don't do it until you have
tried yourself to get what you need.  Up until now, we were not
aware, so please don't attack the division leaders.  We're not in
your churches, so we don't know your needs aren't being met.

Give us the contact information for your Pastor, head deacon,
church secretary, and tell us what is happening with you.  Or
contact Ken or Theresa Taylor.  I took a lot of time late last
night to put helpful information on this list.  I've given you
some tools; please use them, and don't holler at us because we
haven't done anything.  Like I have said before, but I'll say it
in a different way, we can't go to bat for you if we don't know
where the ball is.

I'm very sorry to hear of the struggles many here are having with
churches, and I understand that it is tiresome and discouraging
to keep going from church to church, and still you can't find one
that .  accepts you.  God knows all about it.  If you'd like to
worship at, and eventually join a particular church because you
agree with its teachings, and you've tried to no avail to be
accepted by the leaders, let it be known to someone who can help
you by advocating for you.  Know your Bible well enough to give
some verses about worship and church membership, quote them, and
ask the leaders to look them up as you quote them.

Another thing you can do is give them my church website, where
they'll see me singing in the church choir and occasionally
singing a solo, using my BrailleNote Apex.  If they can see the
congregation, they'll see three blind ladies using our Braille
note takers to sing along with the hymns and read our Bibles
along with the rest.  There are probably other sites, too, where
blind people can be seen involved in the ministry during worship
services.  Our site is bbccolumbus.com.

Blessings,

Linda

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