[Faith-talk] Matthew 15:10–20 revised addition

[Ericka]

Totally agree with you that God is not a girl! I actually know people that like having general neutral stuff in their church readings. It was more of a joke on Peter's part. I think you found it somewhere not wrote it. I didn't think much of this gender-neutral stuff until I went to the congregational church I was baptized in. The hams in the hymnal sound horrible gender neutral or just plain rewritten. Now I understand. Thankfully it's not all congregations that are doing it. My parents church does not have that hymnal thank God! I'm pretty safe in believing that Lutherans have the good sense not to do that. And I would not read a Bible that was gender-neutral either. Is there something like that out there? Last I knew at the Voice in the message did not even use those words even though they are supposedly paraphrases written in contemporary English.

Ericka Short
 from my iPhone 6+

> On Aug 21, 2017, at 9:18 PM, Linda Mentink via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> I consider Peter a friend, but God is not a female.  Also, I think the Bible makes the differences between God and Satan very clear, and this up-tu-date story messes with my head!
> Thanks for sharing it, though, Ericka.
> 
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Ericka via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org
> To: faith-talk at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Mon, 21 Aug 2017 16:00:05 -0500
> Subject: [Faith-talk] Matthewl 15:10–20  revised addition
> 
> For those considering Matthew 15:10-20 today, the story is told.
> 
> A day came in heaven when Satan thought that he might finally have the upper hand over Jesus and his attending goodie people so Satan approached the heavenly throne and said, “I believe that I have finally infiltrated the very fabric of the world and that I am ready to take full control.  You see I have given bits of information to the people over the years and now they have created this network of computers and programs that are so cleverly interfaced that even you cannot fully understand the genius of my plan.  That tree of knowledge thing back in the garden? Well that was just a warm up for what I have planned for this generation.  Why all of the knowledge of the world can be accessed in a matter of minutes if you just know the right key combinations.  Indeed, the people may not be as wise as you are, Lord, they may be wiser.  What do you think about that?”
> God curled her hair around her finger for a while; she pursed up her lips; she wrinkled her forehead and then asked, “So why have you come here today to tell me this? There seems to be a weakness in your plan somehow.”
> Satan hedgingly replied, “I just need a little time without your interference to make it all work.  What do you say?”
> God said, “I can’t imagine why I would agree to such a plan.”
> Satan challenged, “I’ll bet that I can enter more data on more people on earth in less time than anyone you can send.”
> God asked, “Why should I enter data in a computer when I already have the book of life at my disposal?”
> Satan cajoled, “Humor me.  It’ll be fun, and if I lose, I promise I’ll leave the world alone.”
> God considered Satan’s request.  She asked, “How long are you thinking this contest will take?”
> Satan challenged, “You seem to be fond of three days as a time of interfering in my business, so let’s say three days.”
> God agreed, “Okay, I’ll send Jesus to your little competition.”
> Well the time came.  Satan was jumping with excitement when Jesus arrived.  At the moment the starting bell sounded, Satan pulled out a flash drive and started downloading information he had stored earlier.  Jesus smiled and started entering information on creation beginning with Adam and Eve, then working his way down through history.
> At the end of the first day, Satan had more than twice as much information entered than Jesus.  Satan was gleeful.  Jesus smiled.  At the end of the second day, Satan had more than 6 times more information than Jesus.  Satan was prancing around claiming certain victory.  As the time on the third day near the end, a power surge ran through the entire network, and Satan’s computer crashed.  When Satan restarted his computer, he discovered all of his information on computer science, astrophysics, nuclear physics, wall street finance, and all of the busy people making money was gone.
> Satan cried out in frustration, “I can’t believe it! I have lost everything! We’ll have to start again.”
> Jesus just smiled.
> God disagreed with Satan.  “Well, it appears that you have lost, Satan.  Jesus seems to have much more information entered than you have.”
> Satan, very angry, shouted, “How can that be? The same power surge hit his computer.”
> God, smiling very broadly, remonstrated, “That is true, but you see, Jesus saves.  By the words of your mouth and the intent of your little contest over power, you have been de-filed.”
> 
> A pastor friend of mine (Peter Heide ) wrote this and thought I would share.
> 
> 
> 
> Ericka Short
> from my iPhone 6+
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