[Faith-talk] Relationship Issues

Mon May 15 03:44:23 UTC 2017

Hi, Linda.

I certainly appreciate your perspective on this. 

I also want to say that speaking as a female, the way that you are speaking has been used abusively by many conservative churches and there are many women who cannot, and do not have children to raise, or who cannot stay home due to the financial needs of their families. Please bear these things in mind when you are speaking to women. All Scripture has a context. The words of Paul were written to churches in specific cultural situations. Paul had no thought that they were ever to be used to direct the lives of American churches. How we interpret these words needs to be against the similarity of the culture then and the culture now. If we demand that the woman stay home and keep house and the result is that a family becomes impoverished, we have used Scripture to oppress and not as a tool of blessing. The reality is that many women in ancient times worked out of their homes and it is likely that the work they did contributed to their family's welfare both economically and otherwise. Because of cultural norms, the women did not do the trading. The men did; but the likely traded goods that were produced by women. Please think on this before discouraging a woman from working and using her God-given gifts.

-----Original Message-----
From: Faith-Talk [mailto:faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Linda Mentink via Faith-Talk
Sent: Sunday, May 14, 2017 10:46 PM
To: Faith-talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Linda Mentink <mentink at frontiernet.net>
Subject: [Faith-talk] Relationship Issues

Hi All,

I have read with interest all the posts.  Quite a few things crossed my mind as I read.

Firstly, Bill, as has been said, you're too eager, and will turn women off with this eagerness or pushiness.  A man tried that with me once.  I wasn't interested in marriage, but I gave him a chance.  He was a sighted man who played Bass Viol in the orchestra which accompanied a community choral group with which I sang for many years.  He was very oppressive, and was so full of himself, that I told him that there was no room for me, or anyone else in his life.  He asked me how to attract a woman.  I told him a few things!

Secoddly, to Erica's point about "shacking up," this one really bothers me.  I don't know who made the rule in the Social Security Administration that people living on SSI lose income when they marry, encouraging even Christians to disobey God's Word the Bible.  God never said to forget marriage if you wouldn't have as much mone coming in.  I believe that this is a serious sin, and that God will not bless those relationships, and the people in them, as much as He will those who live their lives in obedience to Him.  Those who do this are defiling the marriage bed, and committing adultery.  Shame on the American leadership for putting this rule forward and enforcing it!

Thirdly, anyone desiring to be married should study the passages on this in the Bible, especially if they are Christians.  We are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, so fellowship with those of like precious faith.  The blind Christian needs to handle himself or herself appropriately, and must be confident, not helpless and dependent on others.  Marriage is a partnership, and a sighted person is not going to even want to enter into a marriage relationship with a blind person who can't take care of themselves.  As to how far you should go, keep your clothes on.  
And, if you're a man, and you can't support a woman, get a job.  
God commands mothers to be keepers at home, which society has disobeyed.  The man is to be the head of the home, as Christ is the head of the Church, and its up to him to provide for his family.  The woman should stay at home and raise the children.  
That's the Biblical plan.  Some have worked it out so that the woman goes to work and the man stays home, in the case of some blind friends I know.  And in some cases, both work.  It's tough to figure this all out, but it should be done prayerfully.

I am 61, and have remained single and a virgin.  I have had relationships over the years, but they didn't work out.  I am very content as a single woman.  Paul encourages us to be as he is, thereby being able to serve the Lord more fully.  Because I don't have to divide my time between taking care of a husband and family and serving my Lord, I can be single-minded inservice to Him.  I know many who serve the Lord together as couples, and most couples I know and fellowship with are happy, well-adjusted people raising their children in the church.

If we are willing to obey God's precepts, we will save ourselves from a lot of heartache.  Commit your way to the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

I hope this makes sense!

Blessings,

Linda

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