[Faith-Talk] iceolation and serving in churches

Sun Dec 15 01:08:45 UTC 2019

i ment by disability group is community orginizations for example but
the thing is this finding that somebody that believes in me is like
finding  a needle in a haystack as a blind person. I  was incourraged
to start back at these games nights by a worker or lets say farsilator
who used to work with me but to me it is no use if  i can't get the
turn out and things like that.  like this person can put the word out
and help me with putting word out posters and stuff but  i need
somebody that will really help me with this or at least give some
advice on this sort of kind of thing maybe  this isn't the list to
talk about it but a one of the general nfb lists perhaps but churches
are similar experience a pastor can say you can do this or that last
Sunday pastor was  in contact with me about something else but I told
him I  feel being with people my age is important to me and that i
want to help out He says he has idea's it is not that I don't want to
hear him out but the thing is this  i want to be able to reach full
potential and be useful in a sence. and he made statements like makes
me sad that you don't want  say there is not much  vollunteer stuff to
do but there is bible studdies or meals to be involved in or  some
other thing something else between two t different churches he mention
one of them being one he pastors but to me they also have to
understand to that If I am not feeling i can fit in I  won't even be
doing any of these things in I j guess I just want things that fit me
and what I am looking for.  i need things where i can reach my full
potential as a person not be told what to do in a sence yes i don't
mind suggestions but who ever it is needs to hear me out what i feel
i want to do and have some of the connection things I would want to be
at stuff like that.

On 12/14/19, Ericka via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> You bring back lots of memories of when I was younger. I know that
> frustration of trying to get people to know who you are and to start
> something but no one attends. I don’t have any good advice but to keep
> trying. I’m glad you’re reaching out to other networks. Tell me more about
> the disability groups that you’ve tried to work with? It only takes one
> person to believe in you and everything clicks.
>
> Ericka Nelson
>
>> On Dec 14, 2019, at 6:31 PM, andrew edgcumbe via Faith-Talk
>> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>> not only that it is not just church i have tried to do games or
>> orginize games nights have invited people in from community and or
>> advertizing with other disability resource people but  i have never
>> gotten hardly any responce i never get hardly many at all and things.
>> it is like you have to have your name well known to run stuff.  so i
>> have kept trying and trying not only at church i but have been trying
>> other ways. even on good months there is not much interest.
>>
>>> On 12/14/19, Ericka via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>> Thank you for reaching out to us and I’ve been following this thread. I
>>> can
>>> totally imagine your frustration. It’s not just people who are blind that
>>> get that kind of treatment at church. Before I moved to Madison, I lived
>>> in
>>> a community on the Wisconsin Illinois border, about an hour away from
>>> Chicago. At this particular church most people were pretty good about
>>> things
>>> but there is one child who is in a wheelchair and could not speak
>>> clearly.
>>> He was ignored completely except for the few of us who knew there was a
>>> person inside Ethan. Once his older brother was confirmed, the family
>>> left
>>> the church. I don’t blame them! Later on we got better pastors but it was
>>> too late for this family. Another family also left because their two boys
>>> with autism were treated like discipline problems not children with
>>> challenges people did not understand. People just did not want to
>>> understand. I totally back to this family and try to help them educate
>>> but
>>> it just didn’t work. This family had enough stress and didn’t need their
>>> attitude too. We had one child while I was teaching Sunday school that
>>> had
>>> emotional problems and I was able to work with the family since I have
>>> special education training. This kid is so smart and so kind that it was
>>> very sad to see as he got older how the church wasn’t really supporting
>>> him
>>> and his mom. She had grown up in that church so you think there’d be more
>>> support for her and her family. I hate hypocritical people and
>>> unfortunately
>>> it doesn’t matter, you’ve got them everywhere.
>>>
>>> I hope the counseling can help you at least organize your thoughts and
>>> create some kind of plan. There’s nothing worse than being frustrated and
>>> not being able to find a way around it. Prayers go out to you and never
>>> give
>>> up! Remember “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.“
>>> Check
>>> out Philippians on Gateway.com defined that.
>>>
>>> Ericka Nelson
>>>
>>>> On Dec 14, 2019, at 11:28 AM, andrew edgcumbe via Faith-Talk
>>>> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Hi Thank you for your email Tom  I think part of what has happened was
>>>> this  is I  guess i don't deal with road blocks well at all. I guess
>>>> for me I have tried to communicate that I wanted to do particular
>>>> things but I have felt like I just have not been heard.  In a sence I
>>>> am not really  close to anybody at church  at all. I have not stayed
>>>> in a particular church lately myself as i been searching for needs of
>>>> my own like bible study groups and some people my age for example or
>>>> even place to serve. I don't have any real friends in church or church
>>>> type stuff I don't get any calls or  any contact with me other then on
>>>> Sunday.  My family have bounced from church to church few times in
>>>> child hood actually. I think allot of discourragement or depression
>>>> might be because of what I go through as a blind person I don't even
>>>> know if there is any blind pastors in Canada or not.  I don't have
>>>> anybody close to me that could advocate for me in a sence if i can
>>>> fraise it that way.
>>>>
>>>>> On 12/14/19, Tom Vos via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>>> Andrew,
>>>>> I can appreciate your struggle, and I am grateful that you have some
>>>>> counseling resources to deal with your depression.  I am a pastor, now
>>>>> retired, and I am grateful for a church that walked with me through 28
>>>>> years of ministry as My eye condition deteriorated.  When I first told
>>>>> my congregation that my eyesight was declining, one of my elders said
>>>>> to me, "This is going to be good for us."
>>>>> I am grateful for those who stepped in to drive me to various visits
>>>>> and walked with me with encouragement and love.
>>>>> I say that because I want to say that churches can learn.
>>>>> And I should also say that I was approached by someone from the
>>>>> congregation telling me that my ministry there had run its course,
>>>>> making it clear that my blindness was the factor.
>>>>> Thankfully my council stood by me and allowed me another five years of
>>>>> ministry there.
>>>>> That being said, churches still have things to learn.  My denomination
>>>>> has an office of disability concerns that seeks to educate and guide
>>>>> the churches in ministry to and with people with disabilities.  The
>>>>> motto is: Everybody belongs, everybody Serves.
>>>>> I offer advice hesitantntly, because you may have done this already.
>>>>> First, perhaps some treatment for your depression may lower the strain
>>>>> a
>>>>> bit.
>>>>> But I wonder if you could pick out some particular form of service in
>>>>> your church that you think you can do and would enjoy being a part of,
>>>>> and approach the leadership and ask for an opportunity to serve.
>>>>> Your church should be willing to accommodate you with some assistance,
>>>>> since their goal should be to provide you with a way of serving the
>>>>> Lord and his people.
>>>>> This takes some assertion on your part, and perhaps if you are feeling
>>>>> down, this is not the best time to try it.  You could, of course, run
>>>>> into road blocks, or someone who is unwilling to help you.  But
>>>>> perhaps there is someone you are close to in the church who could
>>>>> serve as your advocate.
>>>>> Short of that, you will need to be your own advocate and graciously
>>>>> ask for the opportunity to serve among  them, and perhaps explain to
>>>>> the leadership what you can do, and how you can do it, and what
>>>>> assistance they need to provide so that you can not only belong, but
>>>>> serve.
>>>>> I'd be glad to converse with you off list if that would help.
>>>>> Tom
>>>>>
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>>>>
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