[Faith-Talk] serving and connection

[andrew edgcumbe]

Hi I know that i written here in the past about these things and I am from
Canada.
Sometimes it is hard to really exper express myself.
I am totally blind mostly but i have been told have mild develi
developmental delay.

I have good mobility skills it is not about my mobility skills.
To me it is about hiking with a buddy or going on adventures like to an
amusement park or whatever it might be and knowing what to do about
fostering that kind of thing.

Like when it comes to serving I don't totally know what I really want to do
I feel like it is hard to really share that with anybody because it has
been hard to really know for sure how i can do things.

I have tried to do other things like I ment with ministry leaders had
meetings but have not gotten anywhere I struggle to feel confident i can
really do anything because at times i gotten very frusterated  and felt I
could never serve or help anywhere as a blind person because I have not
been given those chances.
Like there was certain things where conversations were had about me helping
out at a youth tuck shop but he changed his mind because he felt people
would steel food and stuff from me because I am blind or something.

The youth pastor thought I should ware glasses which is which he did get me
a pair but i used them till they got broken I don't know what the reason
for the eyr eye glasses I am not sure if it was because of my blindness or
stuff I really don't know till this day.
Sometimes have had people over help me when it comes to street crossings i
have had to say i have gotten training and usually they leave me alone
after that.

I have tried to help out at nursing homes speciffically friendly visiting
in some of them that is and I was refused because of me being blind and
actually a chaplin didn't think i should be around alderly and she went and
had a talk with a nursing home in my town about this that is what it
sounded like and they were like if i did do it i would have to have
somebody with me sorry I can't do that way  because how am i suppose to do
it that way when i can hardly find other people to do things with to begin
with and stuff like that.

One place would only talk to me inless my family was around in fact when i
asked for a email copy of paperwork  she didn't send it and stuff like that.

This was about friendly visiting as well.

It is often hard to get rides to bible studdies in the evenings and stuff
so i don't go to bible studdies for that reason.

I just have a hard time knowing what i can really do and stuff like that.

I have a hard time even finding anybody i can talk to on phone and stuff
like that. evenings for me feel the most borring for me.
I do get very lonely actually.
So you are very right in saying that Ashley.

I have days i feel like just giving up because it is no use.

I keep putting myself out there weather it is serving or connections
weather it is tandem bike riding or activities  but those buddies can't be
found they are nowhere to be seen and teh then i just don't feel like i am
an important part of anything.

I will post my testamon testamony below as that might tell more about me.

My testamony

I was born in a

Christian home. I have both of my parents who are christians. I did

have some site where I could see some things like colour and stuff

like that I could see if the sun was out or not and I could see some

things but at the age of 11 I lost the rest of my sight. I lost it due

to retnal detachment. I had gone to the doctor because I was

experiencing flashes in my eyes and then couldn't see colours. Anyway

I asked the lord into my heart somewhere around there. I did the

praying and the whole thing i never stopped going to church at all but

for while I never really did much praying or my focus was not church

or christian centered. At the end of high school I or close to end

of high school I did redicate my life back to the Lord. Not long

after that I did get baptized. Now after all of this I found that

life was not easy at all. I have always had allot of struggles

fitting in and finding some friends with whom I could connect with. I

have had so much trouble finding ways to serve and stuff like that.

I have experienced discouragement and depression to degree over the

years. I have even struggled finding ways to serve I was basically

told that i couldn't do sound board i did answer phones at church for

time being but then it got to point where i just needed something i

could actually do more things. I didn't get any calls that came in or

anything. I had tried to do other things all to no success. I never

found that I fit into group activities at all to great at times either

i was left out or all some wanted to do was play board games and stuff

like that. I also found that I I had a hard time really connecting

and really trying to find friends even to this day I don't have the

friends I need no phone calls or anything Even though I have gone to

a local church i never have gotten phone calls even during covid 19. I

may have gotten couple calls but after that nobody called me nomore.

I have had troubles with different things. I have had people saying

to me things like I need a healing from my physical blindness and

stuff like that. I also have been told to seek my healing. One

particular time I went to a youth service. My parents own a bible camp

but anyway I went to this service and i sat down then a prayer time

started. Anyway two guys came over to me and basically it was then I

got surrounded over my blindness these guys were right in my face

about it and told me to seek my healing and stuff like that. Anyway

eventually they did let up but itwas so sad they could be like that.

It has also been such a struggle for me to even volunteer even. I been

turned down

due to lack of them not wanting or realizing what I really can do and

I have experienced allot of judgement based on what I can and can’t

do. I would prefer

people ask me questions instead of going to parents. I couldn’t get

into other places to volunteer because they said I needed somebody

with me but I like

to have my independence and I am very guarded when it comes to that as

I have been the type not to take no for an answer.

about 3 years ago almost 4 years ago moved out into my own

apartment. I am not suggesting that wasn't trouble free either but i

still went to church and stuff like that but even to this day i

can't seem to stick to any particular one so far as of before covid 19

I felt no connection anywhere. Anyway within the last couple years or

so I have had my share of things. two people I knew from my building

well or sort of well passed away last summer so I had to go to couple

funerals. Anyway in September i ended up in a conversation with

somebody online and things went down hill to point i either felt a

certain way or I just whatever but anyway about 1 in the morning the

police came as they got a call and wanted to check. Anyway I have

always been feeling lack of activity and lack of things to do to feel

not only connection but feel useful. So i think that was causing some

depression. I went to some counciling. I had been trying to figure

out over these last few months some other thingsi could do far as

finding that active life.  I actually  I have many desires still in my life
I have found i

have many desires of my heart or things I would like to do or be able

to do. I have both good and bad days even now days because things were

brought to a stop when I thought things would be moving forward. Some

days I felt like my life has been totally recked and other days I have

felt okay. I know God is good all the time but I know it is still

tough for me life over all is tough for me. I just wanted to share my

story from when i was young up until now.




On Fri, Aug 9, 2024 at 11:15 PM Ashley Bramlett via Faith-Talk <
faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:

> Hi,
> It sounds like you are lonely.
> It sounds like you want someone to assist you with walking and getting out
> in the community for fitness participation and social activities.
> I'm going to a church with my dad which is also small and most members are
> older or maybe adults middle age with families.
>
> I have not exactly asked to serve but I suspect they would be fine with
> most
> activities. I have considered helping out with the youth group.
>
> I am also seeking a fitness buddy to have nature walks with or simple trail
> walking or tandem biking.
> But, so far I did not find anyone. I asked our nearest chapter of Achilles
> international, dc chapter,
> But did not find anyone; no response yet.
> So, I know what you mean about needing a guide to do activities with and
> finding no one. I can and do exercise alone at a gym such as by using the
> seated bikes or treadmills but I do so much desire to do some outside walks
> or biking and go with someone so I can focus on the walk and exercise, not
> my mobility skills.
> I also want more social connections either from the church or elsewhere.
>
> It sounds like you have other disabilities given how this is written and
> how
> you write here. I do not know your full situation. I'm just speculating.
> It would be helpful to know what you really mean. So far your emails are
> vague saying that
> You simply are not accepted and you are not finding connections.
> What do you want to do? Some examples? What were some things you tried and
> were rejected from?
> Saying you have lack of opportunity does not tell us much.
>
> I do not mean to be critical but you have written things like this before
> and it comes up year after year.
> Only by getting specific can we help some.
>
> Writing things like this
> " It is like people have been so hazatant to do anything or to support me
> or
> help me find those opportunities either as part of a church or even
> ministry
> and stuff like that."
> Does not say much.
>
> Have you tried finding connections through a community website? Here we
> have
> www.meetup.com, but I'm not sure you have that.
> I've not used this myself, but I know it's a way to find groups to meet up
> with.
>
> I do hope you find something. If there is a Christian ministry for the
> blind
> in Canada where you are, maybe you can help them, even if its remotely.
> Here in the USA we have Christian Record Services and Lutheran Braille
> Workers; both are far from my home of VA but I've considered trying to do
> something with them  remotely. Maybe writing something or conducting
> something over a video platform like zoom.
>
> You have to educate people about your abilities too. You may not be asked
> to
> help as they do not know what you can do or how you can do it, so do
> educate
> them.
>
> Anyways, with more specifics, maybe we can give more suggestions.
>
> Ashley
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Faith-Talk <faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of andrew
> edgcumbe via Faith-Talk
> Sent: Friday, August 9, 2024 10:27 PM
> To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of faith and religion
> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: andrew edgcumbe <rollercoasterman86 at gmail.com>
> Subject: [Faith-Talk] serving and connection
>
> Hi
> My name is Andrew for those who don't know me.
>
> I have just had struggle after struggle with  just being able to serve as
> part of a church body and stuff like that other then maybe music and stuff
> like that.
> To me the experience is they don't know what to do with me because of my
> blindness and stuff like that.
> It is like people have been so hazatant to do anything or to support me or
> help me find those opportunities either as part of a church or even
> ministry
> and stuff like that.
> The answer I always get is just pray about it while we should do that and i
> been doing that all along but faith should be followed up by action to and
> stuff like that.
>
>
> While I don't know other area's speciffically my church is a very small
> church so it is limited but I want to find christian ministries who
> actually
> let blind people serve even if it is from home or some other way.
>
> The other area is that i have trouble making connections that really foster
> into more then just sunday morning fellowship.
> I have tried to find hiking partners and finding other things.
> i reached out to couple of the other churches for walking buddies and stuff
> like that and just other people whom perhaps i can really make connection
> with from a church to do coffee with or do other things with and I don't
> know they are afraid of the fact i am blind I don't know what it is.
> I just been really looking for answers as to what to do with myself like i
> have few people in building i connect with but they have disabilities that
> keep them from doing walks with me or  other adventures I would like to be
> able to go on and stuff like that.
>
> I struggle making connection through or  church or community  like I said
> even a buddy of mine has tried to talk to t others about  others about
> walking with me or what not but there is great hazatation and never had any
> luck weather it is walking or ki hiking and stuff like that.  or even
> people
> to really connect with.
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