[Faith-Talk] serving and connection

Sat Aug 10 08:16:19 UTC 2024

Hi  I know  I guess the thing that stops me is not only  self confident end
of thing that is stopping me but in my area  i wouldn't be welcomed on to
most construction sights I think that kind of is really  well I don't know.
My family never  has never pushed me to advokate in anyway.

While I  for most part moved out on my own  most cases my family  has
never  whatever I think that even they don't know what blind people to do
because they have never bothered to educate themselves.

I have conversations with people  from latest c latest church i currently
go to and they say it is to bad that  or say they understand i want to do
more  but no effort was ever made for me to help out.

There is no hiking groups in my area at all. I tried to look for them and
look for  stuff along those lines.
With trips and stuff i just don't know how to even find way  ways to go to
these places i would want to go to. going on these adventures to me is not
a problem but it is finding people to do these things with Water parks
would be harder to do if person doesn't ride water slide because I wouldn't
know my way around in water parks and stuff.

I really  far as youth group did go on few of the trips actually as well
like he did accomidate way in a sence.

There is hardly any other blind people seen in the community here. So i
live in a smaller town in a sence.

allot of people around here don't have the blind person can do it attitude
and for me to  be  advocating for myself totally alone or like the lone
ranger trying to advocate myself is very hard or would be very hard and to
me it is hard to  and very tiring to explaine to people i cn can cross a
street and stuff like that for example.

Not every place in town is excessible I can only get to one grocery store
in town out of the 2 or 3 others bu by myself because of the
inexcessibility of the parking lots no way for pudestrians to get in there
without dealing with bunch of cars in and out  I can't go to a sub place at
all one of them because there is no safe way to get there at all even o and
m never could figure it out.

part of me really wishes that somebody could at least help me with the
advokating part of things at the very least that is the thing.

Like I do go to a day program for people with disabilities but most times i
am just sitting there doing nothing.  I am always left out of the games
they are doing and left out of video games and i used to be in another day
program last year but they didn't do very good at getting me playing games
because these certain ones were playing the card or board games I never got
a turn or anything like that.

Also they never gave me chance to know my way around at all they never gave
me chance to
They never  whatever I never used the bathroom while there because I didn't
feel i could be independent over  independent because they were almost
treating me differently like you need help with this and that type of thing.
even their vollunteer drivers especially one in particular ansisted on
putting my seatbelt on but that was only one he put it on before i had
chance to say anything so when I was coming home and he was doing something
else i quickly put it on.

So i ended up leaving that particular program.

People around here really don't want me to help out with stuff  each time i
mention it to my mom she is like i don't know what to tell you.

I just feel so alone in my struggles and i hate being so alone in the end
of advocacy and i know i need to do it probably but i don't know how to
really build that self confidence when people are not as open to me doing
things or blind people doing things.

It feels like i am always being watched and stuff.

I don't mind people helping me but when they help me to much just because i
am blind it can really be over whelming.

I don't know how to use discord I can never get it to work for me and  i
been trying to figure it out on my computer but it is very hard because
allot of the time i don't know how to make it work and how to whatever.  as
allot of things are not excessible.

I have a real hard time finding out about events in my area weather it is
restaurants or web sites not always info is even excessible and miss stuff.

I had been trying to fix that events thing by having a facebook group
somebody else helped start but facebook becao became un became the option
that is out the door because i have not been able to log in for whole month
because i kept getting error messages like sorry we will fix it something
went wrong usually it fixed but this time it is that way for 4 weeks now or
a month i use facebook on my computer so i can't access the group on
facebook. i even tried resetting passwords and everything so no go.

On Sat, Aug 10, 2024 at 2:38 AM Ashley Bramlett via Faith-Talk <
faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:

> Hi,
> That is too bad you did not feel too included as a Christian teenager.
> Well, its too bad you did not have your mom or family member advocate.
> It sounds like the adult leaders had misconceptions and did not seek to
> educate themselves about inclusion and that is real sad.
>
> When I was in youth groups, I did most things but not other activities.
> Like you though, I went to because I wanted to be out of the house and my
> parents just said it was available and I should go like my brothers did.
> I think they told the youth group leaders about sighted guide and to
> describe things to me such as when they served dinner or snacks to tell me
> the options before serving me; but not too much else.
> I was finding myself as a teen like all other teens and did not know all
> of what I needed but did do some advocating.
>
> If the group did sports, I was left out, but for most activities, I went
> to them. It was a long time ago so I do not even remember what we did. I
> think we did some prayer, stories, drama, simply socializing, and singing.
> We also had some fun outings and some I attended such as bowling.
> I have some memories of youth retreats too.
> The adult leaders did accommodate me sometimes.
> At the time I did not have a braille Bible so when we did our Bible story
> time, I think one of the leaders read to me.
> Much of the retreat was to hang out and talk and have plenty of food. I
> remember having a good time overall.
>
> I think you need to advocate for yourself! Maybe you can find other
> friends with your same disability to hang out. In my area, there are day
> programs for people with developmental disabilities so maybe try to find
> one. If you use a Ipad or Iphone, there are apps to chat with people who
> share your interests such as the clubhouse app. Oh and there is discord
> too. Not the same as a real place to hang out but it would give you the
> connection to talk to people.
>
> You can certainly go to adventure activities such as amusement parks,
> Andrew!
> In my area there are clubs for that. There is a hiking club and a running
> club and some others. Maybe try finding a club to do this with.
> Just go sighted guide and have someone tell you the rides they see around
> and pick some to go on. Its fun.
>
> If someone told you that you cannot work with the elderly, that is real
> discriminatory and you should absolutely not have to bring someone with you
> to perform that task of being a friendly visitor.
>
> Finally, you can certainly do hands on activities. I do not know what is
> stopping you still. I just think you lack self confidence.
> So, look for a service project and go for it. Fill out the applications
> and steps for it and go for it.
> If they tell you no, go to the head of the organization. If no resolution,
> if it were me, I'd blast them! I'd go to the media, write letters to the
> editor about me being barred from serving and working for no money
> expected, and then get the equivalent of NFB involved. I know you have
> something like the NFB in Canada
>
> I've not done much hands on work and moving around tables and chairs, but
> I know blind people who did do it. I also have heard of several blind
> people doing it from NFB articles and lists.
> You could serve on a house project with the equivalent of Habitat for
> Humanity. You could serve at a soup kitchen. Some nonprofits here have
> projects to move in donated furniture and beautify houses and you could do
> that.
> I'm sure your country has something similar.
> Blind people have done these things. Just have someone show you what to
> do. If its hands on work, that can be done by touching the tools. You could
> perhaps start by organizing items or participating by handing group members
> tools or help lifting things assuming you have the strength to do it. For
> instance, if you are bringing in supplies to repair something in a home,
> you can help carry it and unload supplies.
> If you go on a campfire outing and you want to help get the fire ready,
> carry the supplies over for it.
>
> These service projects are doable and you should not be stopped. I'll send
> a few links to articles about people serving in ministry to help the
> homeless and other vonerable populations.
>
> I have some vision and use a cane. So,  I have to first tell them a little
> about what I do not see since I look normal. Sometimes it seems like
> totally blind people are accepted less. If you have blindisms, like
> rocking, try to stop. That is off putting to people.
>
> It can be done. These articles speak of overcoming the misconceptions
> other sighted people had but they did it and participated.
>
> HTH,
> Ashley
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Faith-Talk <faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of andrew
> edgcumbe via Faith-Talk
> Sent: Saturday, August 10, 2024 1:20 AM
> To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion <
> faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: andrew edgcumbe <rollercoasterman86 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [Faith-Talk] serving and connection
>
> I have even asked my mom and stuff about vollunteer opportunities and she
> has no idea's for me either.
> I did go to youth groups and stuff earlier and I like Ashley was left out
> of some activities in fact I was all by myself when they went to play their
> games in the Gym.
> They often didn't include me in much but i still went to get out of the
> house.
>
> I also asked some young people to hang with me as well at times and i
> always found that they just didn't seem to want to and it was like  they
> didn't care to hang with me.
>
> People don't seem to want to do much with me I don't know if it is because
> they trh think they need to help me or they think there is  or it is to
> complicated to hang out with a blind person I just don't know what it is.
>
> or if it is because people don't want to deal with those with disabilities.
>
>
>
> On Fri, Aug 9, 2024 at 11:45 PM Brian Hatgelakas via Faith-Talk <
> faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> > you said it 100 percent correctly!
> >
> > On Fri, Aug 9, 2024 at 11:15 PM Ashley Bramlett via Faith-Talk <
> > faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >
> > > Hi,
> > > It sounds like you are lonely.
> > > It sounds like you want someone to assist you with walking and
> > > getting
> > out
> > > in the community for fitness participation and social activities.
> > > I'm going to a church with my dad which is also small and most
> > > members
> > are
> > > older or maybe adults middle age with families.
> > >
> > > I have not exactly asked to serve but I suspect they would be fine
> > > with most activities. I have considered helping out with the youth
> > > group.
> > >
> > > I am also seeking a fitness buddy to have nature walks with or
> > > simple
> > trail
> > > walking or tandem biking.
> > > But, so far I did not find anyone. I asked our nearest chapter of
> > Achilles
> > > international, dc chapter,
> > > But did not find anyone; no response yet.
> > > So, I know what you mean about needing a guide to do activities with
> > > and finding no one. I can and do exercise alone at a gym such as by
> > > using the seated bikes or treadmills but I do so much desire to do
> > > some outside
> > walks
> > > or biking and go with someone so I can focus on the walk and
> > > exercise,
> > not
> > > my mobility skills.
> > > I also want more social connections either from the church or
> elsewhere.
> > >
> > > It sounds like you have other disabilities given how this is written
> > > and how you write here. I do not know your full situation. I'm just
> > > speculating.
> > > It would be helpful to know what you really mean. So far your emails
> > > are vague saying that You simply are not accepted and you are not
> > > finding connections.
> > > What do you want to do? Some examples? What were some things you
> > > tried
> > and
> > > were rejected from?
> > > Saying you have lack of opportunity does not tell us much.
> > >
> > > I do not mean to be critical but you have written things like this
> > > before and it comes up year after year.
> > > Only by getting specific can we help some.
> > >
> > > Writing things like this
> > > " It is like people have been so hazatant to do anything or to
> > > support me or help me find those opportunities either as part of a
> > > church or even ministry and stuff like that."
> > > Does not say much.
> > >
> > > Have you tried finding connections through a community website? Here
> > > we have www.meetup.com, but I'm not sure you have that.
> > > I've not used this myself, but I know it's a way to find groups to
> > > meet
> > up
> > > with.
> > >
> > > I do hope you find something. If there is a Christian ministry for
> > > the blind in Canada where you are, maybe you can help them, even if
> > > its remotely.
> > > Here in the USA we have Christian Record Services and Lutheran
> > > Braille Workers; both are far from my home of VA but I've considered
> > > trying to do something with them  remotely. Maybe writing something
> > > or conducting something over a video platform like zoom.
> > >
> > > You have to educate people about your abilities too. You may not be
> > > asked to help as they do not know what you can do or how you can do
> > > it, so do educate them.
> > >
> > > Anyways, with more specifics, maybe we can give more suggestions.
> > >
> > > Ashley
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: Faith-Talk <faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of andrew
> > > edgcumbe via Faith-Talk
> > > Sent: Friday, August 9, 2024 10:27 PM
> > > To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of faith and religion
> > > <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> > > Cc: andrew edgcumbe <rollercoasterman86 at gmail.com>
> > > Subject: [Faith-Talk] serving and connection
> > >
> > > Hi
> > > My name is Andrew for those who don't know me.
> > >
> > > I have just had struggle after struggle with  just being able to
> > > serve as part of a church body and stuff like that other then maybe
> > > music and
> > stuff
> > > like that.
> > > To me the experience is they don't know what to do with me because
> > > of my blindness and stuff like that.
> > > It is like people have been so hazatant to do anything or to support
> > > me
> > or
> > > help me find those opportunities either as part of a church or even
> > > ministry and stuff like that.
> > > The answer I always get is just pray about it while we should do
> > > that
> > and i
> > > been doing that all along but faith should be followed up by action
> > > to
> > and
> > > stuff like that.
> > >
> > >
> > > While I don't know other area's speciffically my church is a very
> > > small church so it is limited but I want to find christian
> > > ministries who actually let blind people serve even if it is from
> > > home or some other way.
> > >
> > > The other area is that i have trouble making connections that really
> > foster
> > > into more then just sunday morning fellowship.
> > > I have tried to find hiking partners and finding other things.
> > > i reached out to couple of the other churches for walking buddies
> > > and
> > stuff
> > > like that and just other people whom perhaps i can really make
> > > connection with from a church to do coffee with or do other things
> > > with and I don't know they are afraid of the fact i am blind I don't
> know what it is.
> > > I just been really looking for answers as to what to do with myself
> > > like
> > i
> > > have few people in building i connect with but they have
> > > disabilities
> > that
> > > keep them from doing walks with me or  other adventures I would like
> > > to
> > be
> > > able to go on and stuff like that.
> > >
> > > I struggle making connection through or  church or community  like I
> > > said even a buddy of mine has tried to talk to t others about
> > > others about walking with me or what not but there is great
> > > hazatation and never had
> > any
> > > luck weather it is walking or ki hiking and stuff like that.  or
> > > even people to really connect with.
> > > _______________________________________________
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> > --
> > *Brian P. Hatgelakas | *
> > 318 Washington Road, #212, Pittsburg, PA 15216
> > C: 412.862.8644  *I* E: bhatgelakas at gmail.com
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