[Faith-Talk] serving and connection

Sat Aug 10 23:22:47 UTC 2024

honestly i feel i am nothing to God anyway I really been accused of stuff
and like I said in a earlier post people need to ask questions instead of
judging me.  I have low selfesteene and if i am not able to find things out
for myself then i need e help to find opportunities.

On Sat, Aug 10, 2024 at 5:33 PM Ericka via Faith-Talk <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
wrote:

> My husband and I can totally help you with that. And ask for those games.
> There are many ways to purchase or create your own Braille playing cards.
> And many other games like Uno could be bought already in Braille. I am glad
> that you have the “I can do it!“ Attitude. I totally understand about
> people not going how to help and your parents are doing that and have done
> the best they could. I do see one thing you can do. You can step up and say
> hey, this would make it a lot easier for me to do such and such.  Sometimes
> you have to bring the solution to their attention rather than hoping they
> figure it out. We’re the experts in blindness, right? You said that. So
> maybe one day just bring some braille cards into that day program and see
> what happens. Maybe got sent you there to teach that community and then
> when you feel more confident and stronger and know who you are better, you
> can  Branch out into doing something else. Just singing in the choir is
> still serving. Trust me, you don’t want me singing in any choir.
>
>  We are not put off by your developmental delays. We’re not scared of your
> disability or anything. And honestly, we wish we could afford to come to
> Canada! Take one step at a time.
>
> In Christian love,
>
> Ericka Nelson
>
>
> > On Aug 10, 2024, at 3:20 AM, andrew edgcumbe via Faith-Talk <
> faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >
> > Hi  I know  I guess the thing that stops me is not only  self confident
> end
> > of thing that is stopping me but in my area  i wouldn't be welcomed on to
> > most construction sights I think that kind of is really  well I don't
> know.
> > My family never  has never pushed me to advokate in anyway.
> >
> > While I  for most part moved out on my own  most cases my family  has
> > never  whatever I think that even they don't know what blind people to do
> > because they have never bothered to educate themselves.
> >
> > I have conversations with people  from latest c latest church i currently
> > go to and they say it is to bad that  or say they understand i want to do
> > more  but no effort was ever made for me to help out.
> >
> > There is no hiking groups in my area at all. I tried to look for them and
> > look for  stuff along those lines.
> > With trips and stuff i just don't know how to even find way  ways to go
> to
> > these places i would want to go to. going on these adventures to me is
> not
> > a problem but it is finding people to do these things with Water parks
> > would be harder to do if person doesn't ride water slide because I
> wouldn't
> > know my way around in water parks and stuff.
> >
> > I really  far as youth group did go on few of the trips actually as well
> > like he did accomidate way in a sence.
> >
> > There is hardly any other blind people seen in the community here. So i
> > live in a smaller town in a sence.
> >
> > allot of people around here don't have the blind person can do it
> attitude
> > and for me to  be  advocating for myself totally alone or like the lone
> > ranger trying to advocate myself is very hard or would be very hard and
> to
> > me it is hard to  and very tiring to explaine to people i cn can cross a
> > street and stuff like that for example.
> >
> > Not every place in town is excessible I can only get to one grocery store
> > in town out of the 2 or 3 others bu by myself because of the
> > inexcessibility of the parking lots no way for pudestrians to get in
> there
> > without dealing with bunch of cars in and out  I can't go to a sub place
> at
> > all one of them because there is no safe way to get there at all even o
> and
> > m never could figure it out.
> >
> > part of me really wishes that somebody could at least help me with the
> > advokating part of things at the very least that is the thing.
> >
> > Like I do go to a day program for people with disabilities but most
> times i
> > am just sitting there doing nothing.  I am always left out of the games
> > they are doing and left out of video games and i used to be in another
> day
> > program last year but they didn't do very good at getting me playing
> games
> > because these certain ones were playing the card or board games I never
> got
> > a turn or anything like that.
> >
> > Also they never gave me chance to know my way around at all they never
> gave
> > me chance to
> > They never  whatever I never used the bathroom while there because I
> didn't
> > feel i could be independent over  independent because they were almost
> > treating me differently like you need help with this and that type of
> thing.
> > even their vollunteer drivers especially one in particular ansisted on
> > putting my seatbelt on but that was only one he put it on before i had
> > chance to say anything so when I was coming home and he was doing
> something
> > else i quickly put it on.
> >
> > So i ended up leaving that particular program.
> >
> >
> > People around here really don't want me to help out with stuff  each
> time i
> > mention it to my mom she is like i don't know what to tell you.
> >
> >
> > I just feel so alone in my struggles and i hate being so alone in the end
> > of advocacy and i know i need to do it probably but i don't know how to
> > really build that self confidence when people are not as open to me doing
> > things or blind people doing things.
> >
> > It feels like i am always being watched and stuff.
> >
> > I don't mind people helping me but when they help me to much just
> because i
> > am blind it can really be over whelming.
> >
> > I don't know how to use discord I can never get it to work for me and  i
> > been trying to figure it out on my computer but it is very hard because
> > allot of the time i don't know how to make it work and how to whatever.
> as
> > allot of things are not excessible.
> >
> > I have a real hard time finding out about events in my area weather it is
> > restaurants or web sites not always info is even excessible and miss
> stuff.
> >
> > I had been trying to fix that events thing by having a facebook group
> > somebody else helped start but facebook becao became un became the option
> > that is out the door because i have not been able to log in for whole
> month
> > because i kept getting error messages like sorry we will fix it something
> > went wrong usually it fixed but this time it is that way for 4 weeks now
> or
> > a month i use facebook on my computer so i can't access the group on
> > facebook. i even tried resetting passwords and everything so no go.
> >
> >
> >
> >> On Sat, Aug 10, 2024 at 2:38 AM Ashley Bramlett via Faith-Talk <
> >> faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >>
> >> Hi,
> >> That is too bad you did not feel too included as a Christian teenager.
> >> Well, its too bad you did not have your mom or family member advocate.
> >> It sounds like the adult leaders had misconceptions and did not seek to
> >> educate themselves about inclusion and that is real sad.
> >>
> >> When I was in youth groups, I did most things but not other activities.
> >> Like you though, I went to because I wanted to be out of the house and
> my
> >> parents just said it was available and I should go like my brothers did.
> >> I think they told the youth group leaders about sighted guide and to
> >> describe things to me such as when they served dinner or snacks to tell
> me
> >> the options before serving me; but not too much else.
> >> I was finding myself as a teen like all other teens and did not know all
> >> of what I needed but did do some advocating.
> >>
> >> If the group did sports, I was left out, but for most activities, I went
> >> to them. It was a long time ago so I do not even remember what we did. I
> >> think we did some prayer, stories, drama, simply socializing, and
> singing.
> >> We also had some fun outings and some I attended such as bowling.
> >> I have some memories of youth retreats too.
> >> The adult leaders did accommodate me sometimes.
> >> At the time I did not have a braille Bible so when we did our Bible
> story
> >> time, I think one of the leaders read to me.
> >> Much of the retreat was to hang out and talk and have plenty of food. I
> >> remember having a good time overall.
> >>
> >> I think you need to advocate for yourself! Maybe you can find other
> >> friends with your same disability to hang out. In my area, there are day
> >> programs for people with developmental disabilities so maybe try to find
> >> one. If you use a Ipad or Iphone, there are apps to chat with people who
> >> share your interests such as the clubhouse app. Oh and there is discord
> >> too. Not the same as a real place to hang out but it would give you the
> >> connection to talk to people.
> >>
> >> You can certainly go to adventure activities such as amusement parks,
> >> Andrew!
> >> In my area there are clubs for that. There is a hiking club and a
> running
> >> club and some others. Maybe try finding a club to do this with.
> >> Just go sighted guide and have someone tell you the rides they see
> around
> >> and pick some to go on. Its fun.
> >>
> >> If someone told you that you cannot work with the elderly, that is real
> >> discriminatory and you should absolutely not have to bring someone with
> you
> >> to perform that task of being a friendly visitor.
> >>
> >> Finally, you can certainly do hands on activities. I do not know what is
> >> stopping you still. I just think you lack self confidence.
> >> So, look for a service project and go for it. Fill out the applications
> >> and steps for it and go for it.
> >> If they tell you no, go to the head of the organization. If no
> resolution,
> >> if it were me, I'd blast them! I'd go to the media, write letters to the
> >> editor about me being barred from serving and working for no money
> >> expected, and then get the equivalent of NFB involved. I know you have
> >> something like the NFB in Canada
> >>
> >> I've not done much hands on work and moving around tables and chairs,
> but
> >> I know blind people who did do it. I also have heard of several blind
> >> people doing it from NFB articles and lists.
> >> You could serve on a house project with the equivalent of Habitat for
> >> Humanity. You could serve at a soup kitchen. Some nonprofits here have
> >> projects to move in donated furniture and beautify houses and you could
> do
> >> that.
> >> I'm sure your country has something similar.
> >> Blind people have done these things. Just have someone show you what to
> >> do. If its hands on work, that can be done by touching the tools. You
> could
> >> perhaps start by organizing items or participating by handing group
> members
> >> tools or help lifting things assuming you have the strength to do it.
> For
> >> instance, if you are bringing in supplies to repair something in a home,
> >> you can help carry it and unload supplies.
> >> If you go on a campfire outing and you want to help get the fire ready,
> >> carry the supplies over for it.
> >>
> >> These service projects are doable and you should not be stopped. I'll
> send
> >> a few links to articles about people serving in ministry to help the
> >> homeless and other vonerable populations.
> >>
> >> I have some vision and use a cane. So,  I have to first tell them a
> little
> >> about what I do not see since I look normal. Sometimes it seems like
> >> totally blind people are accepted less. If you have blindisms, like
> >> rocking, try to stop. That is off putting to people.
> >>
> >> It can be done. These articles speak of overcoming the misconceptions
> >> other sighted people had but they did it and participated.
> >>
> >> HTH,
> >> Ashley
> >>
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: Faith-Talk <faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of andrew
> >> edgcumbe via Faith-Talk
> >> Sent: Saturday, August 10, 2024 1:20 AM
> >> To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of Blindness in faith and religion <
> >> faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> >> Cc: andrew edgcumbe <rollercoasterman86 at gmail.com>
> >> Subject: Re: [Faith-Talk] serving and connection
> >>
> >> I have even asked my mom and stuff about vollunteer opportunities and
> she
> >> has no idea's for me either.
> >> I did go to youth groups and stuff earlier and I like Ashley was left
> out
> >> of some activities in fact I was all by myself when they went to play
> their
> >> games in the Gym.
> >> They often didn't include me in much but i still went to get out of the
> >> house.
> >>
> >> I also asked some young people to hang with me as well at times and i
> >> always found that they just didn't seem to want to and it was like  they
> >> didn't care to hang with me.
> >>
> >> People don't seem to want to do much with me I don't know if it is
> because
> >> they trh think they need to help me or they think there is  or it is to
> >> complicated to hang out with a blind person I just don't know what it
> is.
> >>
> >> or if it is because people don't want to deal with those with
> disabilities.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> On Fri, Aug 9, 2024 at 11:45 PM Brian Hatgelakas via Faith-Talk <
> >> faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >>
> >>> you said it 100 percent correctly!
> >>>
> >>> On Fri, Aug 9, 2024 at 11:15 PM Ashley Bramlett via Faith-Talk <
> >>> faith-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> Hi,
> >>>> It sounds like you are lonely.
> >>>> It sounds like you want someone to assist you with walking and
> >>>> getting
> >>> out
> >>>> in the community for fitness participation and social activities.
> >>>> I'm going to a church with my dad which is also small and most
> >>>> members
> >>> are
> >>>> older or maybe adults middle age with families.
> >>>>
> >>>> I have not exactly asked to serve but I suspect they would be fine
> >>>> with most activities. I have considered helping out with the youth
> >>>> group.
> >>>>
> >>>> I am also seeking a fitness buddy to have nature walks with or
> >>>> simple
> >>> trail
> >>>> walking or tandem biking.
> >>>> But, so far I did not find anyone. I asked our nearest chapter of
> >>> Achilles
> >>>> international, dc chapter,
> >>>> But did not find anyone; no response yet.
> >>>> So, I know what you mean about needing a guide to do activities with
> >>>> and finding no one. I can and do exercise alone at a gym such as by
> >>>> using the seated bikes or treadmills but I do so much desire to do
> >>>> some outside
> >>> walks
> >>>> or biking and go with someone so I can focus on the walk and
> >>>> exercise,
> >>> not
> >>>> my mobility skills.
> >>>> I also want more social connections either from the church or
> >> elsewhere.
> >>>>
> >>>> It sounds like you have other disabilities given how this is written
> >>>> and how you write here. I do not know your full situation. I'm just
> >>>> speculating.
> >>>> It would be helpful to know what you really mean. So far your emails
> >>>> are vague saying that You simply are not accepted and you are not
> >>>> finding connections.
> >>>> What do you want to do? Some examples? What were some things you
> >>>> tried
> >>> and
> >>>> were rejected from?
> >>>> Saying you have lack of opportunity does not tell us much.
> >>>>
> >>>> I do not mean to be critical but you have written things like this
> >>>> before and it comes up year after year.
> >>>> Only by getting specific can we help some.
> >>>>
> >>>> Writing things like this
> >>>> " It is like people have been so hazatant to do anything or to
> >>>> support me or help me find those opportunities either as part of a
> >>>> church or even ministry and stuff like that."
> >>>> Does not say much.
> >>>>
> >>>> Have you tried finding connections through a community website? Here
> >>>> we have www.meetup.com, but I'm not sure you have that.
> >>>> I've not used this myself, but I know it's a way to find groups to
> >>>> meet
> >>> up
> >>>> with.
> >>>>
> >>>> I do hope you find something. If there is a Christian ministry for
> >>>> the blind in Canada where you are, maybe you can help them, even if
> >>>> its remotely.
> >>>> Here in the USA we have Christian Record Services and Lutheran
> >>>> Braille Workers; both are far from my home of VA but I've considered
> >>>> trying to do something with them  remotely. Maybe writing something
> >>>> or conducting something over a video platform like zoom.
> >>>>
> >>>> You have to educate people about your abilities too. You may not be
> >>>> asked to help as they do not know what you can do or how you can do
> >>>> it, so do educate them.
> >>>>
> >>>> Anyways, with more specifics, maybe we can give more suggestions.
> >>>>
> >>>> Ashley
> >>>>
> >>>> -----Original Message-----
> >>>> From: Faith-Talk <faith-talk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of andrew
> >>>> edgcumbe via Faith-Talk
> >>>> Sent: Friday, August 9, 2024 10:27 PM
> >>>> To: Faith-talk, for the discussion of faith and religion
> >>>> <faith-talk at nfbnet.org>
> >>>> Cc: andrew edgcumbe <rollercoasterman86 at gmail.com>
> >>>> Subject: [Faith-Talk] serving and connection
> >>>>
> >>>> Hi
> >>>> My name is Andrew for those who don't know me.
> >>>>
> >>>> I have just had struggle after struggle with  just being able to
> >>>> serve as part of a church body and stuff like that other then maybe
> >>>> music and
> >>> stuff
> >>>> like that.
> >>>> To me the experience is they don't know what to do with me because
> >>>> of my blindness and stuff like that.
> >>>> It is like people have been so hazatant to do anything or to support
> >>>> me
> >>> or
> >>>> help me find those opportunities either as part of a church or even
> >>>> ministry and stuff like that.
> >>>> The answer I always get is just pray about it while we should do
> >>>> that
> >>> and i
> >>>> been doing that all along but faith should be followed up by action
> >>>> to
> >>> and
> >>>> stuff like that.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> While I don't know other area's speciffically my church is a very
> >>>> small church so it is limited but I want to find christian
> >>>> ministries who actually let blind people serve even if it is from
> >>>> home or some other way.
> >>>>
> >>>> The other area is that i have trouble making connections that really
> >>> foster
> >>>> into more then just sunday morning fellowship.
> >>>> I have tried to find hiking partners and finding other things.
> >>>> i reached out to couple of the other churches for walking buddies
> >>>> and
> >>> stuff
> >>>> like that and just other people whom perhaps i can really make
> >>>> connection with from a church to do coffee with or do other things
> >>>> with and I don't know they are afraid of the fact i am blind I don't
> >> know what it is.
> >>>> I just been really looking for answers as to what to do with myself
> >>>> like
> >>> i
> >>>> have few people in building i connect with but they have
> >>>> disabilities
> >>> that
> >>>> keep them from doing walks with me or  other adventures I would like
> >>>> to
> >>> be
> >>>> able to go on and stuff like that.
> >>>>
> >>>> I struggle making connection through or  church or community  like I
> >>>> said even a buddy of mine has tried to talk to t others about
> >>>> others about walking with me or what not but there is great
> >>>> hazatation and never had
> >>> any
> >>>> luck weather it is walking or ki hiking and stuff like that.  or
> >>>> even people to really connect with.
> >>>> _______________________________________________
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> >>>
> >>> --
> >>> *Brian P. Hatgelakas | *
> >>> 318 Washington Road, #212, Pittsburg, PA 15216
> >>> C: 412.862.8644  *I* E: bhatgelakas at gmail.com
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