[Faith-Talk] serving in church

[andrew edgcumbe]

Hi  everybody
I hope you all are doing well and that you all are very blessed.
I know i brought this topic up before but before I either read things wrong
or I just had some miss understandings.
However I  would try again and just explaine what I have done and stuff
like that.
It continues to be a challenge for me.
and yes I have contacted pastor and actually contacted other pastors about
vollunteering and my desire to serve.
But what has been happening is nobody is getting back to me and  it is
proving to be very difficault.
Yes I have been speciffic about what kind of things  Like I mentioned
reading of scripture and greeting for example but however what is happening
is i am not getting any responces at all I sent one email just the other
week then i sent another last week i was even trying to see about
opportunities at other churches but basically i hit a rock wall because
nobody has gotten back to me.
 My mom and I have met with somebody even and honestly it just didn't get
me anywhere.

It kind of has gone hand in hand with lack of vollunteer opportunities in
my area and the challenge I have been met with when it comes to that.

The other thing I have been finding is quite a challenge is that I really
been struggling with the fellowship part of things. The only time people
approach me is to offer help that in itself isn't bad but beyond that it is
like i just get left on my own and no conversation starts up at all.
One of the things i find is that and yes somebody is probably going to
point out it is a two way streak connection has to go both ways.
I do try to do that though.
Sometimes what I find or have found is that I just don't do well with bunch
of voices at once like a crouded situation. I find hearing bunch of voices
all at once can be very confusing for me.  even when somebody has talked to
me it can really be hard to gaine full concentration if somebody does talk
to me that is what I find.

I have found lately i have had allot of discouragement towards attending a
church and when I do go  that is it feels like I been pushing myself out
the door or dragging myself out the door.
The thing i been finding it feels like  or better way to put it i just
don't sence I belong in church sometimes because of all the frusterations
that come with attending church or finding those ways to serve like I
mentioned above and it has been very hard to find the modivation to go.
I have often found that i been getting depressed allot some days like i
almost feel like don't want to get out of bed.
I really only get out of bed to take care of my guide dog that is what it
feels like to me in a sence.
Like I have done allot of tasks in school as i was in like couple different
hands on classes.
I had a real good EA stands for educational assistant who knew how to adapt
things for me and for which whom I still talk to to this day.