[humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy

Wed Oct 1 00:38:14 UTC 2014

Hi,

This is a wonderful question with brilliant answers.

One suggestion I have to add is I will often ask, if the silence between us
could talk, what would it say? I have found, while an odd question, it
allows them to feel separate from the silence, thus allowing them to better
express its cause. If I know the client well, I will point blank ask what
is behind the silence?

I had an entire session with an 11-year-old where we sat in complete
silence. He was mad at me because he felt I sided with his mother and not
him about something just prior to going into session. I felt like I was
talking to the wall. He literally sat in silence for the entire 50 minutes.
At the end I thanked him for allowing me to sit with him and on a hunch
apologized while acknowledging I was unsure what I was apologizing for but
knowing something I had done upset him. He walked out without a word, but
came back the next week, and we processed it.

Beth

Beth Gustin MA, NCC, LPC

On Tue, Sep 30, 2014 at 5:31 PM, JD Townsend via humanser <
humanser at nfbnet.org> wrote:

>
> YES!
>
> Engagement is not only a verbal exercise.  If a youth doesn't talk I
> engage them in play, depending on the age this might be one of my
> favorites:  the card game War or playing with blocks.  War is an easy game
> that most kids already know, but playing with a blind person with regular
> cards puts them in a position they are not used to & talk often happens.
>
> I will often ask for pictures, then ask the patient to tell me about it,
> asking questions like, "Who lives there" or "Are they happy or sad or angry
> or what?"
>
> Usually I ask what they look like, what's their race, who lives with them,
> or what's their music.  Some kids attempt to talk through their music,
> playing a tune for me in session or telling me about a movie.
> And, I frequently ask questions that are dumb, like "Larry, what's your
> first name?"
>
> If a really silent one comes along I might ask their help with something,
> if nothing else, I might ask if they might be willing to lead me to the
> office or lobby.  Anything to elicit their trust;  if I trust them to guide
> me, then they might be willing to trust a little back.  Is that playing the
> "BLIND CARD?"  With some I'll engage them by asking them to read the
> braille code on one of the NFB braille alphabet cards.
>
> A 6-year old patient came in to see the psychiatrist & ran away into my
> office, she grabbed my white cane and declared, "Look!  I'm blind!"  Mom &
> I laughed.
>
>
> -----Original Message----- From: Merry via humanser
> Sent: Tuesday, September 30, 2014 6:38 AM
> To: 'Alyssa Munsell' ; 'Human Services Division Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy
>
>
> What a great discussion question!  In session with one particular teen
> there
> is a great deal of silence.  I sit quietly too for a few moments when I
> encounter silence with any of my clients.    Usually,  they begin speaking
> again, but with this one particular teen she does not.  I then ask her what
> she is feeling and then move forward and ask her what her thoughts are if
> she does not share her feelings.  These questions may not move us ahead but
> after sometime she becomes talkative again.
>
> While in graduate school we discussed this topic and while watching a video
> on this topic we saw a therapist working with a teen who was resistant.
> She
> used a game to engage this teen.
>
> Thank you all who are responding and sharing.  These thoughts and ideas
> help
> me too.
>
> Thanks,
> Merry
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: humanser [mailto:humanser-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Alyssa
> Munsell via humanser
> Sent: Monday, September 29, 2014 7:27 PM
> To: humanser at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy
>
> Hi everyone!
>
>
>
> I hope this message finds you all well. I have a question for those of you
> who practice mental health therapy. I've been doing therapy for my final
> year internship, and I am noticing that I'm not comfortable when there is a
> long period of silence between my clients and I. This is because I'm not
> able to see their body language well, and therefore, am having a hard time
> assessing whether or not the silence is productive. As you probably already
> know, silence can be powerful and necessary in therapy, so I don't want to
> diminish it. However, without being able to see non-verbal cues about
> what's
> going on with the person (e.g. they're just thinking or looking at me to
> say
> something), it is hard for me to know what to do. I was wondering what you
> all do in those types of situations.
>
>
>
> Any feedback would be immensely appreciated.
>
>
>
> Thanks so much,
>
>
>
> Alyssa
>
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> JD Townsend LCSW
> Helping the light dependent to see.
> Daytona Beach, Earth, Sol System
>
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