[humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy

[Sandy]

Hello,

Currently I am dealing with a client who self describes as rather quiet. 
The time we have a good two-way conversation is when the client speaks about 
movies watched at home.  It's really hard to have silence especially when I 
am filling out paperwork that forces me to check what goals we worked on 
that session, what interventions, etc.  Some sessions the client will say 
that the time is going by slowly and I agree.  When I was first attending a 
school for the blind and away from home, I felt sad enough to cry during 
typing class and was referred to the school psychologist.  I talked the 
first session, which ended with her declaring I was a lonely child.  The 
next session I did not say much, and we both spent the time with a lot of 
silence.  After that, I don't remember meeting with her again.

JD, I saw the Antwon Fisher movie in one of my early grad social work class. 
The professor said the book, in her opinion, was better.  Somehow I have 
forgotten to get the book, so please give any info on where I can find an 
accessible copy.


Best and fine topic,


Sandy

--------------------------------------------------
From: "JD Townsend via humanser" <humanser at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, September 29, 2014 7:54 PM
To: "Alyssa Munsell" <alyssa53105 at comcast.net>; <humanser at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy

>
> Alyssa, what a great question.  I’m looking forward to how others answer 
> this one.
>
>
> First, your uncomfort with silence is absolutely normal for blind as well 
> as for light dependent psychotherapists.  The answer, for me is answered 
> by the individual patient and their place in treatment.  For an anxious 
> patient who may panic due to the pressure of silence, for the depressed 
> patient who may be crushed by silence I would avoid it like the plague.
>
> For the fully engaged patient faced with a difficult decision I’ll let the 
> process go on as long as the session takes.
>
> I like the book and the movie ANTWAN FISHER;  in the story the young man 
> is forced to see a psychotherapist due to anger issues.  He sits in 
> sessions for a long time until he decides to talk, then it all comes out. 
> We don’t have the luxury of weeks of psychotherapy with nothing said, but 
> the process would work.
>
> Personally I listen to clues like shuffling feet, finger play and 
> breathing to determine when patients are rolling their eyes or playing on 
> their video games during treatment.
>
> I often have patients who have little knowledge that their words have any 
> power, so I actively work to engage them in talk, talk about almost 
> anything at the start of treatment to engage them in the process.  I’ll 
> talk football, alien invasion, or food if it will get them to talk. 
> Treatment is in the relationship and without that engagement little 
> progress can be realized.
>
> Your discomfort with silence may be a reflection of the patient’s 
> uncomfort and it may be being reflected back and forth between you.  I 
> would engage your supervisor in discussing this 
> transference/counter-transference relationship.
>
> Thank you for bringing up this great topic.
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Alyssa Munsell via humanser
> Sent: Monday, September 29, 2014 7:27 PM
> To: humanser at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [humanser] Handling Silence in Therapy
>
> Hi everyone!
>
>
>
> I hope this message finds you all well. I have a question for those of you
> who practice mental health therapy. I've been doing therapy for my final
> year internship, and I am noticing that I'm not comfortable when there is 
> a
> long period of silence between my clients and I. This is because I'm not
> able to see their body language well, and therefore, am having a hard time
> assessing whether or not the silence is productive. As you probably 
> already
> know, silence can be powerful and necessary in therapy, so I don't want to
> diminish it. However, without being able to see non-verbal cues about 
> what's
> going on with the person (e.g. they're just thinking or looking at me to 
> say
> something), it is hard for me to know what to do. I was wondering what you
> all do in those types of situations.
>
>
>
> Any feedback would be immensely appreciated.
>
>
>
> Thanks so much,
>
>
>
> Alyssa
>
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> JD Townsend LCSW
> Helping the light dependent to see.
> Daytona Beach, Earth, Sol System
>
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