[humanser] Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy

Wed Jul 4 14:42:32 UTC 2018

Hello, J.D.,

Thank you for your response. My apologies if I created any confusion
with the use of abbreviations. I thought I clarified by first writing
out Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and then using EFT following
that, first in parentheses, and then just referring to it as EFT in
reference to that first clarification.
I will need to look into Emotion Freedom Therapy - sounds interesting.

I do hear what you are saying, and I believe you have shared these
pointers with me before. I really do appreciate them. *And*, I am
curious if you have worked with couples and still say the same thing,
especially knowing the significance of referring to the subtle
nonverbal cues that takes place in Emotionally Focused Therapy.
Perhaps you could share an example of how/when you might ask to get
the same or even better results as sighted folks?

Thanks so much, and happy Independence Day!

Sarah

.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Message: 1
> Date: Wed, 27 Jun 2018 09:21:44 -0400
> From: JD Townsend <43210 at bellsouth.net>
> To: Sarah Meyer via HumanSer <humanser at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Sarah Meyer <sarah.meyer55 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [humanser] Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
> Message-ID:
> 	<mailman.16.1530187201.19337.humanser_nfbnet.org at nfbnet.org>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8
>
> Hello:
>
> Abreiations can be confusing.? I learned EFT to be Emotional Freedom
> Therapy.
>
> Reasearch on body languge has not shown to have the significant that? the
> light dependent to believe.? I find that asking is more reliable and
> significant for the patient.
>
> The light dependent can easily misread any number of visual cues and move on
> from there.? I have seen this with student interns.? A therapistsome reading
> of a patientsome feelings is an interpretation and thees are, in my mind,
> reserved helping a patient to understand patters of behaviors.?
>
> All of this is to say that, as blind people, our work may? be a little bit
> different,? even a tiny bit? may be better. ement that a patient????
>
> JDS
>
> On Jun 11, 2018 12:58 AM, Sarah Meyer via HumanSer <humanser at nfbnet.org>
> wrote:
>>
>> Hello!
>>
>> I hope everyone is doing well!
>> I am writing to see if anyone on this list either does couples therapy
>> using Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) or knows of any blind
>> clinicians using this model. If you use EFFT working with families or
>> process experiential therapy with individuals, I would be interested
>> in hearing from you as well.
>>
>> I am currently taking a summer class on EFT and have quickly fallen in
>> love with the attachment-based, emotion-focused approach for treating
>> couple distress. I have not yet had the privilege of working with
>> couples but am hoping an opportunity will present itself in my
>> internship.
>>
>> I've become confident in my abilities to connect with and track
>> clients' emotional experiences in individual therapy as well as group
>> therapy by listening to not just the content of what is spoken, but to
>> the tone, rate of speech, inflection, breathing, shifting in the seat,
>> etc. I've noticed from reading and observing EFT sessions that EFT
>> therapists pay much more attention to the most subtle of nonverbal
>> cues and use those as avenues for processing in the here-and-now, more
>> so than other modalities I've studied. I'd like to think I'm very
>> perceptive, but there have definitely been videos wherein the
>> therapist comments on a subtle shift in emotional experiencing in one
>> of the partners that I definitely could not detect by listening.
>> Granted, there might be the possibility that I could pick up on more
>> cues when in close proximity to the clients (e.g., sitting in the same
>> room rather than relying on an audio recording).
>>
>> For example, a therapist will ask a client, "What just happened right
>> here? You were sharing your fear of rejection and suddenly you
>> clenched your jaw and your face went hard and still." In a similar
>> example as this, the client had continued speaking but his tone hadn't
>> changed.
>>
>> Another example: a Therapist will ask a partner to share his/her
>> impressions/reactions to what the other partner has shared. Sometimes
>> this happens as the therapist responds to the listening partner
>> becoming noticeably agitated or flooded; in some cases, the listening
>> partner may be protesting/defending audibly, while in others, the
>> partner may "zone out" or look out the window. In some cases, the
>> listener is simply listening very attentively but from a place of
>> silence. In all instances, the therapist has to be on the lookout for
>> signs of flooding, withdrawal, disassociating, etc. If you practice
>> EFT, how do you catch these very subtle cues of withdrawal if they are
>> not audible?
>>
>> One therapist commented on how a client was holding his hands and
>> created a powerful metaphor and connected this to the underlying
>> emotion and attachment needs.
>>
>> These are just a few examples and I'm wondering how others have
>> addressed or overcome any potential obstacles of missing very subtle
>> nonverbal emotional expression, whether in individual, couples,
>> family, or group therapy.
>>
>> Also, while I'm confident that I am still able to conceptualize and
>> reflect the emotional significance moment by moment in a session as a
>> blind therapist, what do we do with the reality that commenting on
>> these subtle cues is incredibly meaningful for clients? To have a
>> therapist say to a client, "I see you; I see that subtle moistening in
>> your eyes; I see that look of fear in your eyes" can be so validating
>> and empathic. These kinds of statements really help to heighten,
>> deepen, and evoke emotional experiencing for clients. What are other
>> ways we can evoke and heighten these emotional experiences if we can't
>> see the very subtle shifts in emotional expression?
>>
>> All the best,
>>
>> Sarah
>>
>> --
>> Sarah K. Meyer
>> Graduate Student, Clinical Mental Health Counseling
>> Ball State University
>> sarah.meyer55 at gmail.com
>> (317)402-6632
>>
>> The National Federation of the Blind knows that blindness is not the
>> characteristic that defines you or your future. You can live the life
>> you want; blindness is not what holds you back. Together with love,
>> hope, and determination, we transform dreams into reality.
>>
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-- 
Sarah K. Meyer
Graduate Student, Clinical Mental Health Counseling
Ball State University
sarah.meyer55 at gmail.com
(317)402-6632

The National Federation of the Blind knows that blindness is not the
characteristic that defines you or your future. You can live the life
you want; blindness is not what holds you back. Together with love,
hope, and determination, we transform dreams into reality.