[il-talk] Damn It, We'hv been found out!!

Thu Nov 13 04:11:10 UTC 2014

The Onion is a magazine of satirical humor.  This piece came out a couple of 
years ago and has been floating around the internet ever since.  I very much 
like the humorous tack they take.  There is not a drop of syrup or 
sentimentality in it!  It actually mocks the fear that some sighted people 
have of our canes and guide dogs, and teases about the public's 
mystification over Braille signs and symbols.  The piece reflects that we're 
out and about in the community, active and visible.

Debbie

-----Original Message----- 
From: Joshua Hendrickson via il-talk
Sent: Wednesday, November 12, 2014 7:20 PM
To: Robert Hansen ; NFB of Illinois Mailing List
Subject: Re: [il-talk] Damn It, We'hv been found out!!

This article is a bunch of crap.  People are very strange and naive if
they believe this junk.

On 11/12/14, Robert Hansen via il-talk <il-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> I think this is a cover up by a secret society.  Maybe the New World
> Order type.  How about Club of Rome or the Bilderberg Group?  Maybe we
> come from Area 51.
>
> LOL
>
> Robert H.
>
>
> On 11/12/2014 5:45 PM, Don Gillmore via il-talk wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Article from the Onion
>>
>>
>>
>> The Blind Are Faking it
>>
>>
>>
>> by: Rutherford B. Lyke
>>
>>
>>
>> Citizens, hear us well. Our great nation is being undermined by a secret
>> society of individuals who carry deadly white truncheons and lead vicious
>> attack animals in public on a daily basis. These mysterious folk also 
>> have
>> a
>> secret means of communication, while shocking new evidence seems to
>> indicate
>> that they may even possess senses superior to those of other humans.
>> We're
>> speaking, of course, of the legions of the so-called blind. Let's assume
>> for
>> a minute that we swallow this "blindness" hoax in the first place. If
>> these
>> people are somehow bereft of the gift of sight, how does that explain the
>> works of Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and Ronnie Milsap? How could such men
>> possibly play music if they were blind? What do they take us for-ignorant
>> saps?
>>
>>
>>
>> The first issue I must point out is their very public display of armed
>> might. Every individual laying claim to sightlessness carries a cudgel on
>> their person at all times. These "canes," as they call them, are supposed
>> to
>> help them feel their way along. They are painted white, almost as if the
>> bearer wished to remind passersby of its presence, and the weapon's tip
>> is
>> painted a chillingly suggestive red. Those who have studied the
>> mysterious
>> fighting arts of the Orient know that such sticks may be wielded with
>> deadly
>> force by those with skill. In a surprise attack, strategically placed
>> squads
>> of the "blind" could quickly overwhelm our police forces. Their fearsome
>> nature encompasses more than just personal weaponry. Many of the alleged
>> blind also own large, vicious attack dogs for the supposed purpose of
>> guidance along city streets. With one word from their scheming masters,
>> these slavering "guide" dogs could become guided missiles! Indeed, most
>> of
>> these fearsome beasts are German shepherds, a species of killer wolf
>> invented by twisted, Fascist dog breeders, which has somehow fallen into
>> this most suspect faction of the disabled. The most frightening aspect of
>> this diabolical conspiracy by far is their ability to communicate with
>> one
>> another unbeknownst to upstanding citizens. Their secret code consists of
>> a
>> series of raised dots cunningly arranged into arcane shapes. Known as
>> "Braille," this demonic alphabet has begun popping up in places that were
>> doubtlessly chosen for their mundane, everyday outward appearance:
>>
>> elevators, building directories, automated teller machines and the like.
>>
>> This system seems rational enough, and does not attract undue attention.
>> But
>> think! If the messages on the signs changed suddenly, how would we know ?
>>
>> Next year, next month, next week, maybe even tomorrow, the signs will
>> change
>> from "second floor" to "STRIKE NOW! STRIKE HARD!" and our nation will be
>> thrown into the chaos of revolution. At this juncture, there is no hard
>> evidence that the blind are planning such a revolution. We hope to have
>> such
>> evidence very soon. But can one group possess such an overwhelming
>> element
>> of surprise and fail to use it to seize power? And can their goals be
>> anything but evil? No, I say! I maintain that true blindness lies in
>> failing
>> to see the threat where it must obviously lie, and we must be vigilantly
>> wary of the blind menace.
>>
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>
>
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