[il-talk] Damn It, We'hv been found out!!

[Robert Hansen]

This is what The Onion does.  The Onion is a parody newspaper that has 
been around since the 1990's.  They have been satirizing the news for 
years.  Check them out on line.

Robert H.


On 11/13/2014 8:30 AM, Lin H. via il-talk wrote:
> What kind of bunk is this!    people must have to much time on their 
> hands to come upp with stories like this! Sincerely, Linda
>
> -----Original Message----- From: Don Gillmore via il-talk
> Sent: Wednesday, November 12, 2014 5:45 PM
> To: 'NFB of Illinois Mailing List'
> Subject: [il-talk] Damn It, We'hv been found out!!
>
>
>
>
>
> Article from the Onion
>
>
>
> The Blind Are Faking it
>
>
>
> by: Rutherford B. Lyke
>
>
>
> Citizens, hear us well. Our great nation is being undermined by a secret
> society of individuals who carry deadly white truncheons and lead vicious
> attack animals in public on a daily basis. These mysterious folk also 
> have a
> secret means of communication, while shocking new evidence seems to 
> indicate
> that they may even possess senses superior to those of other humans. 
> We're
> speaking, of course, of the legions of the so-called blind. Let's 
> assume for
> a minute that we swallow this "blindness" hoax in the first place. If 
> these
> people are somehow bereft of the gift of sight, how does that explain the
> works of Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and Ronnie Milsap? How could such men
> possibly play music if they were blind? What do they take us for-ignorant
> saps?
>
>
>
> The first issue I must point out is their very public display of armed
> might. Every individual laying claim to sightlessness carries a cudgel on
> their person at all times. These "canes," as they call them, are 
> supposed to
> help them feel their way along. They are painted white, almost as if the
> bearer wished to remind passersby of its presence, and the weapon's 
> tip is
> painted a chillingly suggestive red. Those who have studied the 
> mysterious
> fighting arts of the Orient know that such sticks may be wielded with 
> deadly
> force by those with skill. In a surprise attack, strategically placed 
> squads
> of the "blind" could quickly overwhelm our police forces. Their fearsome
> nature encompasses more than just personal weaponry. Many of the alleged
> blind also own large, vicious attack dogs for the supposed purpose of
> guidance along city streets. With one word from their scheming masters,
> these slavering "guide" dogs could become guided missiles! Indeed, 
> most of
> these fearsome beasts are German shepherds, a species of killer wolf
> invented by twisted, Fascist dog breeders, which has somehow fallen into
> this most suspect faction of the disabled. The most frightening aspect of
> this diabolical conspiracy by far is their ability to communicate with 
> one
> another unbeknownst to upstanding citizens. Their secret code consists 
> of a
> series of raised dots cunningly arranged into arcane shapes. Known as
> "Braille," this demonic alphabet has begun popping up in places that were
> doubtlessly chosen for their mundane, everyday outward appearance:
>
> elevators, building directories, automated teller machines and the like.
>
> This system seems rational enough, and does not attract undue 
> attention. But
> think! If the messages on the signs changed suddenly, how would we know ?
>
> Next year, next month, next week, maybe even tomorrow, the signs will 
> change
> from "second floor" to "STRIKE NOW! STRIKE HARD!" and our nation will be
> thrown into the chaos of revolution. At this juncture, there is no hard
> evidence that the blind are planning such a revolution. We hope to 
> have such
> evidence very soon. But can one group possess such an overwhelming 
> element
> of surprise and fail to use it to seize power? And can their goals be
> anything but evil? No, I say! I maintain that true blindness lies in 
> failing
> to see the threat where it must obviously lie, and we must be vigilantly
> wary of the blind menace.
>
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