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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D">Hi Parents et al,<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D">While this list is meant for parents of blind children—whether the parent is blind or not—I thought I’d forward the following on. The Blind Beader is a Canadian
woman whose posts I generally find to be quite perceptive. In this emotionally-charged installment, she discusses the many misperceptions the sighted public still often have about the capabilities of blind caregivers. While I have never been denied the privilege
of holding a baby (at least no more than any other man is LOL), I know some people have faced this awkwardness and it is a heart-rending thing. I’m sending this along as an FYI, an interesting and sobering read, and in case any of you know anyone for whom
this might be of help. I hope everyone enjoys a beautiful fall weekend!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D">EG<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D">Eric Guillory, Director of Youth Services<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D">Louisiana Center for the Blind<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D">101 South Trenton Street<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D">Ruston, LA 71270<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D">Voice: 800-234-4166<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D">Fax: 318-251-0109<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D">Twitter: ericguillory<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D">Skype: brllovingdad<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D"><a href="http://www.louisianacenter.org"><u><span style="color:#0563C1">www.louisianacenter.org</span></u></a><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif;color:#1F497D">“Together, we are changing what it means to be blind.”<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif">From:</span></b><span style="font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri",sans-serif"> Life Unscripted [mailto:comment-reply@wordpress.com]
<br>
<b>Sent:</b> Thursday, December 3, 2015 10:00 PM<br>
<b>To:</b> Eric Guillory <eguillory@louisianacenter.org><br>
<b>Subject:</b> [New post] I will Never Ask to Hold you Baby<o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:9.5pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif">blindbeader posted: "One day last week, all work instantly stopped at my office when our receptionist brought her infant granddaughter to our work area. Four women cooed, passed
around and fussed over the baby. I was about to open my mouth and ask if I could hold her when our"
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<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center"><span style="font-size:7.5pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif">Respond to this post by replying above this line<o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<span style="font-size:27.0pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:#464646;font-weight:normal">New post on
</span><strong><span style="font-size:27.0pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:#464646">Life Unscripted</span></strong><span style="font-size:27.0pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:#464646;font-weight:normal">
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:9.5pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif"><a href="https://blindbeader.wordpress.com/author/blindbeader/"><span style="color:#2585B2;border:solid windowtext 1.0pt;padding:0in"><img border="0" width="50" height="50" id="_x0000_i1026" src="cid:image002.jpg@01D12E66.F4BC7B70" alt="Image removed by sender."></span></a><o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<h2 style="margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><span style="font-size:15.0pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:#555555"><a href="https://blindbeader.wordpress.com/2015/12/03/i-will-never-ask-to-hold-you-baby/"><u><span style="color:#2585B2">I will Never Ask
to Hold you Baby</span></u></a><o:p></o:p></span></h2>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:9.5pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:#888888">by
<a href="https://blindbeader.wordpress.com/author/blindbeader/"><u><span style="color:#2585B2">blindbeader</span></u></a>
</span><span style="font-size:9.5pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<span style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:#444444">One day last week, all work instantly stopped at my office when our receptionist brought her infant granddaughter to our work area. Four women cooed, passed around and fussed over
the baby. I was about to open my mouth and ask if I could hold her when our receptionist asked "Would you like to touch the baby while Jill [name changed] holds her?" My heart sank. I wanted more than anything to ask if I could
<strong><span style="font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif">hold</span></strong> the baby, but words just wouldn't come out. Even thinking about it now, nearly a week later, I regret not asking the question, even as I realize that a large piece of me feared that
the answer would be no.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<span style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:#444444"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<span style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:#444444">I have friends with children, some of whom I have known since they were infants and who are now approaching double digits in age. Looking back, I doubt I have ever initiated a baby-holding
experience; I would be asked if I wanted to hold the baby or, in one memorable instance, had a baby unceremoniously plunked in my lap. I don't have an exact reason why this is, but I know a piece of me feels like the world would end if I were to ask to hold
a baby and was told no, that's OK, or - perhaps even worse - miss the horrified or awkward or mistrustful glance that would accompany a hesitant, "OK."<o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<span style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:#444444"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<span style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:#444444">And yet, one day, I wish to be a mother. It's been my dream for as long as I could remember. Several jobs ago, I thought I would stay at that job until I became pregnant and went
on maternity leave, but life had other plans. Over the past few months, through all the changes that have gone on in my life, I have thought more about motherhood. What about being pregnant? Would I have to respond graciously to such
<a href="http://www.scarymommy.com/disabled-pregnant-woman-handles-insensitive-questions/">
<u><span style="color:#2585B2">insensitive questions</span></u></a> like "Where's the father in all this?" or "Are you allowed to have a baby?" or "Are you going to keep it?" And that's BEFORE giving birth! My biggest fear is having social workers involved
in my parenting because of a perception that a disabled parent can't take care of an infant (think that won't happen?
<a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/disabled-parents-allowed-to-keep-newborn-son-1.1168401">
<u><span style="color:#2585B2">Think again</span></u></a>).<o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<span style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:#444444"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<span style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:#444444">Even a basic call-out to blind friends has produced heartbreaking fear and misconception of childcare capabilities expressed by family members, friends of friends, and strangers.
More than one blind father has had store employees thank their 4-year-old for "taking Daddy to the store". One friend (the go-to "Cool" babysitter of the neighborhood) had one family refuse to have her look after their children unless a sighted (read: capable)
person was with her. Another was told that his child was invited to a birthday party... only if a sighted parent brought them. And those were just the stories I heard in the span of about thirty minutes, with more comments of "Don't get me started; I'm talked
to like I can't POSSIBLY take care of myself, much less a child." My heart grieves for a world where this is so.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<span style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:#444444"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<span style="font-size:10.5pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:#444444">So for those who have children, I don't wish to come across awkward and uncertain, but in fact I really am. My arms ache to hold that newborn, and I'd LOVE to get down on the floor
and play dolls with your six-year-old. But I want to respect your autonomy as a parent to decide who watches, cuddles and holds your wonderful bundle of joy. but every piece of me is screaming that it's something I would love. But I can not ask. I don't think
I could handle even a hesitant yes, and I know I couldn't handle a no. So please, ask me, because right now I'm not strong enough to take those first toddling steps myself.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:160%"><strong><span style="font-size:8.5pt;line-height:160%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:#999999"><a href="https://blindbeader.wordpress.com/author/blindbeader/"><u><span style="color:#2585B2">blindbeader</span></u></a></span></strong><span style="font-size:8.5pt;line-height:160%;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif;color:#999999">
| December 3, 2015 at 8:59 pm | Tags: <a href="https://blindbeader.wordpress.com/?tag=awkwardness">
<u><span style="color:#2585B2">Awkwardness</span></u></a>, <a href="https://blindbeader.wordpress.com/?tag=babies">
<u><span style="color:#2585B2">babies</span></u></a>, <a href="https://blindbeader.wordpress.com/?tag=childcare">
<u><span style="color:#2585B2">childcare</span></u></a>, <a href="https://blindbeader.wordpress.com/?tag=perceptions">
<u><span style="color:#2585B2">perceptions</span></u></a> | Categories: <a href="https://blindbeader.wordpress.com/?cat=132675">
<u><span style="color:#2585B2">blindness</span></u></a> | URL: <a href="http://wp.me/p4WWmy-5g">
<u><span style="color:#2585B2">http://wp.me/p4WWmy-5g</span></u></a> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:9.5pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif"><a href="https://blindbeader.wordpress.com/2015/12/03/i-will-never-ask-to-hold-you-baby/#respond"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Helvetica",sans-serif;color:white;border:solid #11729E 1.0pt;padding:4.0pt;background:#2585B2">Comment</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></p>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:9.5pt;font-family:"Arial",sans-serif"> <a href="https://blindbeader.wordpress.com/2015/12/03/i-will-never-ask-to-hold-you-baby/#comments"><u><span style="color:#2585B2">See all comments</span></u></a><o:p></o:p></span></p>
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