[nabs-l] freinds

[Harry Hogue]

Great topic, guys.  I have never had really close friends, either.  Een in college, I neer developed close relationships--more like people I talk to during class, etc.  Part of that is my personality--I get really quiet in a group and jsut naturally prefer to be in a smaller group of people (like one or two ther people).  I have joined the chess club--yes I am a nerd lol--and really like it, and get along great with those folks.  I go to the Spanish table once a weekand do other things--so I make a concerted effort.  It is good to know that I am not the only blind perso nthat suffers from these feelings.
 
I would loe to get out there and be able to play soccer--the real thing, not some weird modified ersion with sighted people helping.  Does anyone else feel this way?  If this is better addressed either off list or on the sports and rec list, that's fine.  Just thinking of extracurricular  activities that I would like to participate in but can't.  Soemthign we don't really say--but when we say that people can participate equally--I don't know that it is entirely true when it comes to sports.  Granted I've never done it the way they migh suggest, but bowling... I see no way of a totally blind person to bowl and get the same experience out of it with out sighted help that diminishes the experience; likewise, beep baseball and the other adapted sports.  Dont' mean to go off on something I don't know much about, but I think it does fit in well with our discussion of social integration and making friends, etc.  Thoughts?
 
Harry


--- On Mon, 11/3/08, Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com> wrote:

From: Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list" <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Date: Monday, November 3, 2008, 1:56 PM

You are right, Carey.  The people in question could be too busy.
However, may I point out that my younger brother, eighteen years old,
already has a girlfriend and runs around everywhere with her?  I am
envious of every sighted person who has a significant other, and you
know why he has her?  Because he can immitate appropriate social
skills.  I am a firm believer in having good social skills as a
prerequisite to scoring with the oppoite sex.  The key to winning a
successful date and keeping that significant other is having good
social skills.  I have a young man in college here at FSU who is a
friend, but he understands unlike the previous people I've dealt with,
the nature of blindness and its accessories because his mom had a
blind student.  I've spoken to him and his mom about this issue and it
just makes sense that he wouldn't simply give up on me as a friend.  I
admit I did a few things he didn't like, but then he admitted he
wouldn't give up.
Beth

On 11/3/08, Carrie Gilmer <carrie.gilmer at gmail.com> wrote:
> I would just like to add to Beth and Hope,
>
> Jordan has not had many social offers himself. And he is well liked and
this
> is key-respected- in class and in the extra curricular groups. I have
found
> that blind people maybe especially need to be very pro-active on this. I
> told him once that to eat lunch with others he needed to initiate, or to
go
> out, he needed to call. I told him he was not like a Hollywood Star,
people
> were not going to line up to go out with him. In my own life, as a sighted
> person, I can tell you that nearly every one of my friendships are because
I
> my self kept in contact. I called, I made the lunch date, I invited them
> over, I remembered the birthday card. I have friends from grade school
> still, but most often I am the one to keep up the contact. It is often
that
> way, some people are better at it. I never care or make anyone feel it
> mattered if they haven't called me for three years, I don't even
listen to
> the "excuse" I just say forget it, how are you now, wanna do
lunch on
> Thursday and catch up?
>
> I know that there are people who will avoid the blindness, most are though
> just unsure. But I think it can affect fro your end too, in the can you
walk
> the walk you talk totally? Like that little girl I mentioned, IF your
skill
> level and independence is not truly equal that can effect. But on the
other
> hand kids know Jordan is equal to them in school, I think sometimes they
> don't realize he is equally independent out of school too. On the
other
> hand, he is often too busy to have any free time to go out, and these days
I
> know a lot of students (my husband is a high school teacher) who are high
> GPA, working jobs, volunteering and in extra curricular and they don't
have
> time much either. So I think they aren't calling like he isn't,
just too
> busy!
>
>
>
> Carrie Gilmer, President
> National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
> NFB National Center: