[nabs-l] friends

Thu Nov 6 09:44:09 UTC 2008

You might be right, only you can't possibly keep the thing level.  I
am horrible at keeping stuff level at last.
Beth

On 11/6/08, Sarah Jevnikar <sarah.jevnikar at utoronto.ca> wrote:
> I find trays are a disaster and make things harder with a cane. At least
> with a plate/bowl you potentially have a cane hand free.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
> Of Ashley Bramlett
> Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2008 5:38 PM
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>
> Albert,
> I've gone to public places alone but not concerts that I can recall;
> although that is auditory and there is no reason why we should not and enjoy
>
> it.
> Beth said she did not go to social events alone and my point is you can go
> to some and get something out of it.  She said
>
> "but there are other things I won't do alone either: going to
>> concerts, which I have to do anyway; going to restaurants, which is
>> fine with me because I don't have to carry food around which I don't
>> know how to do because I don't feel I can hold a plate with one hand
>> and cane with another, and we don't have trays at FSU, no we don't;
>> and going to parties and such."
>
> It is much more fun to go to things in groups but I don't think blindness
> should stop you from going to concerts, restaurants and parties  if that is
> what you want to do.
> No I have not been to a concert alone that i recall, but I did go to a play
> at school alone.  I've also gone to restaurants alone; I get tired of
> cafeteria food and the Ballston commons Mall is near.  You can easily walk
> there from the metro and buy stuff from a regular restaurant or food court.
> Some students go in groups; others go alone.
> Yes I do agree that attending a sporting event such as basketball or
> baseball would not be fun alone because with the crowd and noise it is
> difficult to navigate and you cannot ask your friend what is happening then.
>
> However there are other events that you can do alone.  Now if Beth or anyone
>
> wants to go to events in groups because that is there personality that is
> fine.  But blindness should not get in the way.  I for one would like to go
> to more things like concerts or out to eat with friends but they're busy and
>
> most are just acquaintances, not close friends.
> But I'll go to things alone to enjoy if its something I really want.
>
> Ashley
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Albert Yoo" <albertyoo1 at hotmail.com>
> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2008 2:08 PM
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>
>
>>
>> Ashley, have you gone to a concert alone? It wouldn't be any fun to go to
>> a concert or sporting event alone to a basketball football baseball or ice
>
>> hockey game you wouldn't be able to get around easily at the stadium if
>> you were alone. Albert
>>
>>
>>> From: bookwormahb at earthlink.net
>>> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> Date: Tue, 4 Nov 2008 11:38:08 -0500
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>
>>> Beth,
>>>
>>> I'm surprised you are uncomfortable going to restaurants alone. Unless at
>
>>> a
>>> buffett you don't have to carry food to the table. Your school is weird
>>> if
>>> you don't have trays. Most cafeterias do. I think you should go to
>>> concerts or restaurants if you want to. Sometimes people are not going to
>>> be around to take you. Yes its more enjoyable to go to restaurants and
>>> concerts with friends but it is certainly possible to do alone. You
>>> should
>>> step out of your confort zone. On a tour bus my mom and I encountered a
>>> sight seer alone from London touring Boston.
>>> So people do do big things alone.
>>>
>>> Ashley
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Beth"
>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>
>>> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 10:49 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>
>>>
>>>>I looooooove bowling. I usually get my ten frames wrth with
>>>> friends,but there are other things I won't do alone either: going to
>>>> concerts, which I have to do anyway; going to restaurants, which is
>>>> fine with me because I don't have to carry food around which I don't
>>>> know how to do because I don't feel I can hold a plate with one hand
>>>> and cane with another, and we don't have trays at FSU, no we don't;
>>>> and going to parties and such. I absolutely refuse to make an
>>>> appearence at anything alone. I'd rater be in a group of friends
>>>> because I don't want to look weird or anything.
>>>> Beth
>>>>
>>>> On 11/3/08, Serena  wrote:
>>>>> Hi Harry
>>>>>
>>>>> I'd have to disagree about adapted sports, especially bowling. I love
>>>>> bowling! I'll admit, I'm not that great, but who cares. All sighted
>>>>> people
>>>>> really have to do for me is help me line up so the ball will go down
>>>>> the
>>>>> middle of the lane. Also, my deaf-blind friend (I mentioned in a recent
>>>>> post asking about AIM) loves every sport you can imagine, including
>>>>> golf!
>>>>> He can see a little bit, but I think he mostly functions as a blind
>>>>> person
>>>>> as far as sports. If you have any specific questions you'd like me to
>>>>> ask
>>>>> him, I'm sure he'd be happy to tell me info to help someone else!
>>>>>
>>>>> Serena
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> From: "Harry Hogue"
>>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>>
>>>>> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 7:09 PM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Great topic, guys. I have never had really close friends, either. Een
>>>>> in
>>>>> college, I neer developed close relationships--more like people I talk
>>>>> to
>>>>> during class, etc. Part of that is my personality--I get really quiet
>>>>> in
>>>>> a
>>>>> group and jsut naturally prefer to be in a smaller group of people
>>>>> (like
>>>>> one
>>>>> or two ther people). I have joined the chess club--yes I am a nerd
>>>>> lol--and
>>>>> really like it, and get along great with those folks. I go to the
>>>>> Spanish
>>>>> table once a weekand do other things--so I make a concerted effort. It
>>>>> is
>>>>> good to know that I am not the only blind perso nthat suffers from
>>>>> these
>>>>> feelings.
>>>>>
>>>>> I would loe to get out there and be able to play soccer--the real
>>>>> thing,
>>>>> not
>>>>> some weird modified ersion with sighted people helping. Does anyone
>>>>> else
>>>>> feel this way? If this is better addressed either off list or on the
>>>>> sports
>>>>> and rec list, that's fine. Just thinking of extracurricular activities
>>>>> that
>>>>> I would like to participate in but can't. Soemthign we don't really
>>>>> say--but
>>>>> when we say that people can participate equally--I don't know that it
>>>>> is
>>>>> entirely true when it comes to sports. Granted I've never done it the
>>>>> way
>>>>> they migh suggest, but bowling... I see no way of a totally blind
>>>>> person
>>>>> to
>>>>> bowl and get the same experience out of it with out sighted help that
>>>>> diminishes the experience; likewise, beep baseball and the other
>>>>> adapted
>>>>> sports. Dont' mean to go off on something I don't know much about, but
>>>>> I
>>>>> think it does fit in well with our discussion of social integration and
>>>>> making friends, etc. Thoughts?
>>>>>
>>>>> Harry
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> --- On Mon, 11/3/08, Beth  wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> From: Beth
>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>>
>>>>> Date: Monday, November 3, 2008, 1:56 PM
>>>>>
>>>>> You are right, Carey. The people in question could be too busy.
>>>>> However, may I point out that my younger brother, eighteen years old,
>>>>> already has a girlfriend and runs around everywhere with her? I am
>>>>> envious of every sighted person who has a significant other, and you
>>>>> know why he has her? Because he can immitate appropriate social
>>>>> skills. I am a firm believer in having good social skills as a
>>>>> prerequisite to scoring with the oppoite sex. The key to winning a
>>>>> successful date and keeping that significant other is having good
>>>>> social skills. I have a young man in college here at FSU who is a
>>>>> friend, but he understands unlike the previous people I've dealt with,
>>>>> the nature of blindness and its accessories because his mom had a
>>>>> blind student. I've spoken to him and his mom about this issue and it
>>>>> just makes sense that he wouldn't simply give up on me as a friend. I
>>>>> admit I did a few things he didn't like, but then he admitted he
>>>>> wouldn't give up.
>>>>> Beth
>>>>>
>>>>> On 11/3/08, Carrie Gilmer  wrote:
>>>>>> I would just like to add to Beth and Hope,
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Jordan has not had many social offers himself. And he is well liked
>>>>>> and
>>>>> this
>>>>>> is key-respected- in class and in the extra curricular groups. I have
>>>>> found
>>>>>> that blind people maybe especially need to be very pro-active on this.
>
>>>>>> I
>>>>>> told him once that to eat lunch with others he needed to initiate, or
>>>>>> to
>>>>> go
>>>>>> out, he needed to call. I told him he was not like a Hollywood Star,
>>>>> people
>>>>>> were not going to line up to go out with him. In my own life, as a
>>>>>> sighted
>>>>>> person, I can tell you that nearly every one of my friendships are
>>>>>> because
>>>>> I
>>>>>> my self kept in contact. I called, I made the lunch date, I invited
>>>>>> them
>>>>>> over, I remembered the birthday card. I have friends from grade school
>>>>>> still, but most often I am the one to keep up the contact. It is often
>>>>> that
>>>>>> way, some people are better at it. I never care or make anyone feel it
>>>>>> mattered if they haven't called me for three years, I don't even
>>>>> listen to
>>>>>> the "excuse" I just say forget it, how are you now, wanna do
>>>>> lunch on
>>>>>> Thursday and catch up?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I know that there are people who will avoid the blindness, most are
>>>>>> though
>>>>>> just unsure. But I think it can affect fro your end too, in the can
>>>>>> you
>>>>> walk
>>>>>> the walk you talk totally? Like that little girl I mentioned, IF your
>>>>> skill
>>>>>> level and independence is not truly equal that can effect. But on the
>>>>> other
>>>>>> hand kids know Jordan is equal to them in school, I think sometimes
>>>>>> they
>>>>>> don't realize he is equally independent out of school too. On the
>>>>> other
>>>>>> hand, he is often too busy to have any free time to go out, and these
>>>>>> days
>>>>> I
>>>>>> know a lot of students (my husband is a high school teacher) who are
>>>>>> high
>>>>>> GPA, working jobs, volunteering and in extra curricular and they don't
>>>>> have
>>>>>> time much either. So I think they aren't calling like he isn't,
>>>>> just too
>>>>>> busy!
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Carrie Gilmer, President
>>>>>> National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
>>>>>> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>>>>>> NFB National Center:
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>
>>>>>
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>>>>
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