[nabs-l] Trays
Chris Westbrook
westbchris at gmail.com
Sat Nov 15 22:19:11 UTC 2008
Frankly, I don't think you should be ashamed of yourself if you don't know
how to carry a tray. I mean, if you are physically capable of doing it,
sure it's a nice skill to have, but some don't have the balance for it, etc.
In that case it is much better to get help then try to do it yourself and
make a mess. I myself do not know how to carry a tray by myself, and I
somehow made it through four years of collegte and am holding down a
successful job. Carrying a tray isn't done much anyway outside of school
and maybe fast food places. The people who make the leap from not being
able to carry a tray to not being able to get around a work site (and I
never had to carry a tray in a job interview) wouldn't hire you anyway, so
learn how if you feel motivated, but don't learn because you feel pressured.
Sometimes I think we place too much emphasis on one particular skill simply
just to put people down. Just my two cents.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Domonique Lawless" <dlawless86 at gmail.com>
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, November 15, 2008 2:56 PM
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Trays
> Hi Beth,
> There's no need to feel bad for not having experience in using
> certain alternative techniques. The fact that everyone has different
> skill levels makes it possible for us to share our experiences as
> well as offer and ask for advice. After all, if we were all good at
> everything then we wouldn't be able to enjoy learning from others or
> be able to teach what we know.
>
> Best Wishes,
> Domonique Lawless
> listserve co-moderator
>
> On 11/14/08, Serena <serenacucco at verizon.net> wrote:
>> You're not he only one, Beth. I can't, either!
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Beth" <thebluesisloose at gmail.com>
>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Friday, November 14, 2008 7:26 AM
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Trays
>>
>>
>>> Okay. aybe I look less competent than everyone else on this list
>>> ecause I can't even carry my own trays. But again, we don't have
>>> trays in the dining hall. The only place wher I could practice this
>>> skill is in the Oglesby Student Union which I don't know how to get to
>>> without miimal assistance. This is just hard.
>>> Beth
>>>
>>> On 11/13/08, Yolanda Garcia <yvgarcia at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> Beth,
>>>>
>>>> I'm not sure if your cafeteria is 24 hours, but if it isn't, then
>>>> one
>>>> suggestion might be is to go early in the morning when they first open
>>>> because hardly anyone is there. This way, you might be able to do some
>>>> exploring of the layout of your cafeteria. Perhaps another option is
>>>> going
>>>> with a friend during finals week when most people are scarce on the
>>>> scene
>>>>
>>>> as
>>>> well and try to gain orientation that way. When next semester comes,
>>>> you'll
>>>> feel more confident to navigate around the cafeteria with your new
>>>> found
>>>> orientation to the lay out.
>>>>
>>>> Alternatively, you can always get anO&M instructor from your VR to come
>>>> a
>>>> few days before class starts in January to help with orienting you to
>>>> the
>>>> cafeteria. It's been my experience that when you have a better
>>>> understanding
>>>> of the layout, that it's easier to navigate independently with each
>>>> passing
>>>> time.
>>>>
>>>> To practice carrying a tray, I have taught my summer students at
>>>> various
>>>> training programs to use a regular cookie sheet, and practice holding
>>>> it
>>>> at
>>>> the side of your body either at waist level or slightly above the hip
>>>> while
>>>> firmly wrapping their hand on the side of the tray furthest away from
>>>> your
>>>> body. I've also seen some counselors show their students to carry the
>>>> tray
>>>> in front of their body just as long as your pinky, ring finger, and
>>>> middle
>>>> finger are wrapped around the side that is furthest from their body and
>>>> using the pointer finger and thumb to grip the cup in between. BTW, the
>>>> finger positioning also applies if you are carrying the tray at the
>>>> side
>>>> of
>>>> your body. Ultimately, you decide what feels most natural to you. Then
>>>> as
>>>>
>>>> my
>>>> students became more comfortable with slowly walking around the
>>>> apartment
>>>> using their cane and carrying the tray, I would incorporate an empty
>>>> plate,
>>>> cup, bowl, or silverware one at a time to gradually give the tray more
>>>> weight like they would experience in a cafeteria or fast food setting
>>>> while
>>>> still using their cane. I noticed that doing a dry run like this in the
>>>> privacy of our apartment made them feel more comfortable then
>>>> practicing
>>>> for
>>>> the first time in a crowded food court with tons of people around.
>>>> Maybe
>>>> you
>>>> assimilate some sort of practice exercise like this either in your dorm
>>>> room
>>>> or when you go home for Thanksgiving break.
>>>>
>>>> I think that once you can get a firm foundation of the layout of your
>>>> cafeteria and master carrying a heavy tray, that you'll be able to fuse
>>>> these techniques together and conquer this situation with confidence
>>>> and
>>>> ease in no time. Hope this helps.
>>>>
>>>> Warmest Regards,
>>>> Yolanda
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "Beth" <thebluesisloose at gmail.com>
>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Thursday, November 13, 2008 3:09 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Trays
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Well, there ain' no trays at Suwannee Dining Hall here at FSU, so I've
>>>>> had to rely on others o help me get my food. Also, there is so much
>>>>> chaos and the cash register is outside the line, not inside the line
>>>>> and in every station like in a normal cafeteria/buffet. You know what
>>>>> I mean?
>>>>> Beth
>>>>>
>>>>> On 11/13/08, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>> Hi all,
>>>>>>
>>>>>> At the NFB centers they teach you a method for carrying a tray with
>>>>>> your non-cane hand by holding the tray against your hip and wrapping
>>>>>> your fingers around the drink if there is one.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> It's also pretty easy to carry a single bowl or plate in your
>>>>>> non-cane hand. One trick is to put silverware, napkins, etc. either
>>>>>> under the plate or in your pocket.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> The only things I haven't figured out is how to carry a plate and
>>>>>> cup with no tray, or to carry multiple drinks on a tray.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> As for travel through a cafeteria or food court, this can be
>>>>>> challenging, but don't be afraid to ask questions of people around
>>>>>> you even if there is no staff member or friend to help. "Is this the
>>>>>> salad line? No? Could you tell me where it is please?"
>>>>>>
>>>>>> One lesson I've learned is to stop and listen whenever I go into a
>>>>>> place like a fast-food restaurant, store or cafeteria. Listen for
>>>>>> audible landmarks like the cash registers, drink dispenser, TV or
>>>>>> background music and use these landmarks to keep your bearings as
>>>>>> you move through the store.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I don't know if others have experienced this, but I think I've
>>>>>> sometimes gotten in the habit of walking into a store or restaurant
>>>>>> and just moving without stopping to listen. I think that
>>>>>> subconsciously I tend to keep moving so other people don't think I'm
>>>>>> lost or helpless. But what I've learned is that in the long run,
>>>>>> it's better to take that extra second to stop and listen--and be
>>>>>> able
>>>>>> to move more smoothly through the place and find the door on the
>>>>>> way
>>>>>> out.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Cheers
>>>>>> Arielle
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 11/13/08, melissa R. Green <graduate56 at juno.com> wrote:
>>>>>>> Carrie,
>>>>>>> Thank you for your willingness to sare ideas with us.
>>>>>>> I had a hard time carrying my tray in school.
>>>>>>> To be honest, I didn't use a cane in school, except for mobility
>>>>>>> which
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>> only
>>>>>>> got every three to four months.
>>>>>>> My mom worked with me on how to carry things level.
>>>>>>> I can't do that as well as I used to because of the slight tremors
>>>>>>> in
>>>>>>> my
>>>>>>> hands.
>>>>>>> I didn't really get to practice carrying a tray much until I got to
>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>> colorado
>>>>>>> center.
>>>>>>> I knew how to do it.
>>>>>>> But I sure got practice doing it at a buffet, and at windys as well.
>>>>>>> Lol!
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Best regards,
>>>>>>> Sincerely,
>>>>>>> Melissa R. Green
>>>>>>> Hold on to your dream and it shall be well with you.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>>>> On
>>>>>>> Behalf
>>>>>>> Of
>>>>>>> Carrie Gilmer
>>>>>>> Sent: Thursday, November 06, 2008 6:23 AM
>>>>>>> To: 'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Trays
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> If you wrap your one arm around the tray, you can usually also hold
>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>> glass (if there is one) you can also feel with your arm if things
>>>>>>> start
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> slide on the tray and adjust, this leaves your other hand free for
>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>> cane.
>>>>>>> I have taught this to elementary age students whose arms are not
>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>> long
>>>>>>> and it still works, I believe this method is also taught at our
>>>>>>> training
>>>>>>> centers.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Carrie Gilmer, President
>>>>>>> National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
>>>>>>> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>>>>>>> NFB National Center: 410-659-9314
>>>>>>> Home Phone: 763-784-8590
>>>>>>> carrie.gilmer at gmail.com
>>>>>>> www.nfb.org/nopbc
>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>>>> On
>>>>>>> Behalf
>>>>>>> Of Beth
>>>>>>> Sent: Thursday, November 06, 2008 3:44 AM
>>>>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] friends
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> You might be right, only you can't possibly keep the thing level. I
>>>>>>> am horrible at keeping stuff level at last.
>>>>>>> Beth
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> On 11/6/08, Sarah Jevnikar <sarah.jevnikar at utoronto.ca> wrote:
>>>>>>>> I find trays are a disaster and make things harder with a cane. At
>>>>>>>> least
>>>>>>>> with a plate/bowl you potentially have a cane hand free.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>>>>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>>>>> On
>>>>>>> Behalf
>>>>>>>> Of Ashley Bramlett
>>>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2008 5:38 PM
>>>>>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Albert,
>>>>>>>> I've gone to public places alone but not concerts that I can
>>>>>>>> recall;
>>>>>>>> although that is auditory and there is no reason why we should not
>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>> enjoy
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> it.
>>>>>>>> Beth said she did not go to social events alone and my point is you
>>>>>>>> can
>>>>>>>> go
>>>>>>>> to some and get something out of it. She said
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> "but there are other things I won't do alone either: going to
>>>>>>>>> concerts, which I have to do anyway; going to restaurants, which
>>>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>>>> fine with me because I don't have to carry food around which I
>>>>>>>>> don't
>>>>>>>>> know how to do because I don't feel I can hold a plate with one
>>>>>>>>> hand
>>>>>>>>> and cane with another, and we don't have trays at FSU, no we
>>>>>>>>> don't;
>>>>>>>>> and going to parties and such."
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> It is much more fun to go to things in groups but I don't think
>>>>>>>> blindness
>>>>>>>> should stop you from going to concerts, restaurants and parties if
>>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>>> what you want to do.
>>>>>>>> No I have not been to a concert alone that i recall, but I did go
>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>> play
>>>>>>>> at school alone. I've also gone to restaurants alone; I get tired
>>>>>>>> of
>>>>>>>> cafeteria food and the Ballston commons Mall is near. You can
>>>>>>>> easily
>>>>>>>> walk
>>>>>>>> there from the metro and buy stuff from a regular restaurant or
>>>>>>>> food
>>>>>>> court.
>>>>>>>> Some students go in groups; others go alone.
>>>>>>>> Yes I do agree that attending a sporting event such as basketball
>>>>>>>> or
>>>>>>>> baseball would not be fun alone because with the crowd and noise it
>>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>>> difficult to navigate and you cannot ask your friend what is
>>>>>>>> happening
>>>>>>> then.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> However there are other events that you can do alone. Now if Beth
>>>>>>>> or
>>>>>>> anyone
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> wants to go to events in groups because that is there personality
>>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>>> fine. But blindness should not get in the way. I for one would
>>>>>>>> like
>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>> go
>>>>>>>> to more things like concerts or out to eat with friends but they're
>>>>>>>> busy
>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> most are just acquaintances, not close friends.
>>>>>>>> But I'll go to things alone to enjoy if its something I really
>>>>>>>> want.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Ashley
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>> From: "Albert Yoo" <albertyoo1 at hotmail.com>
>>>>>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>>>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2008 2:08 PM
>>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> Ashley, have you gone to a concert alone? It wouldn't be any fun
>>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>> go
>>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>> a concert or sporting event alone to a basketball football
>>>>>>>>> baseball
>>>>>>>>> or
>>>>>>> ice
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> hockey game you wouldn't be able to get around easily at the
>>>>>>>>> stadium
>>>>>>>>> if
>>>>>>>>> you were alone. Albert
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> From: bookwormahb at earthlink.net
>>>>>>>>>> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>>>> Date: Tue, 4 Nov 2008 11:38:08 -0500
>>>>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> Beth,
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> I'm surprised you are uncomfortable going to restaurants alone.
>>>>>>>>>> Unless
>>>>>>> at
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>>>> buffett you don't have to carry food to the table. Your school is
>>>>>>>>>> weird
>>>>>>>>>> if
>>>>>>>>>> you don't have trays. Most cafeterias do. I think you should go
>>>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>>> concerts or restaurants if you want to. Sometimes people are not
>>>>>>>>>> going
>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>>> be around to take you. Yes its more enjoyable to go to
>>>>>>>>>> restaurants
>>>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>>> concerts with friends but it is certainly possible to do alone.
>>>>>>>>>> You
>>>>>>>>>> should
>>>>>>>>>> step out of your confort zone. On a tour bus my mom and I
>>>>>>>>>> encountered
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>>>> sight seer alone from London touring Boston.
>>>>>>>>>> So people do do big things alone.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> Ashley
>>>>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>>>> From: "Beth"
>>>>>>>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 10:49 PM
>>>>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>I looooooove bowling. I usually get my ten frames wrth with
>>>>>>>>>>> friends,but there are other things I won't do alone either:
>>>>>>>>>>> going
>>>>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>>>> concerts, which I have to do anyway; going to restaurants, which
>>>>>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>>>>>> fine with me because I don't have to carry food around which I
>>>>>>>>>>> don't
>>>>>>>>>>> know how to do because I don't feel I can hold a plate with one
>>>>>>>>>>> hand
>>>>>>>>>>> and cane with another, and we don't have trays at FSU, no we
>>>>>>>>>>> don't;
>>>>>>>>>>> and going to parties and such. I absolutely refuse to make an
>>>>>>>>>>> appearence at anything alone. I'd rater be in a group of friends
>>>>>>>>>>> because I don't want to look weird or anything.
>>>>>>>>>>> Beth
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> On 11/3/08, Serena wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>> Hi Harry
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> I'd have to disagree about adapted sports, especially bowling.
>>>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>>>> love
>>>>>>>>>>>> bowling! I'll admit, I'm not that great, but who cares. All
>>>>>>>>>>>> sighted
>>>>>>>>>>>> people
>>>>>>>>>>>> really have to do for me is help me line up so the ball will go
>>>>>>>>>>>> down
>>>>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>>>>> middle of the lane. Also, my deaf-blind friend (I mentioned in
>>>>>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>> recent
>>>>>>>>>>>> post asking about AIM) loves every sport you can imagine,
>>>>>>>>>>>> including
>>>>>>>>>>>> golf!
>>>>>>>>>>>> He can see a little bit, but I think he mostly functions as a
>>>>>>>>>>>> blind
>>>>>>>>>>>> person
>>>>>>>>>>>> as far as sports. If you have any specific questions you'd like
>>>>>>>>>>>> me
>>>>>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>>>>> ask
>>>>>>>>>>>> him, I'm sure he'd be happy to tell me info to help someone
>>>>>>>>>>>> else!
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> Serena
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>>>>>>>>> From: "Harry Hogue"
>>>>>>>>>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> Sent: Monday, November 03, 2008 7:09 PM
>>>>>>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> Great topic, guys. I have never had really close friends,
>>>>>>>>>>>> either.
>>>>>>>>>>>> Een
>>>>>>>>>>>> in
>>>>>>>>>>>> college, I neer developed close relationships--more like people
>>>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>>>> talk
>>>>>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>>>>> during class, etc. Part of that is my personality--I get really
>>>>>>>>>>>> quiet
>>>>>>>>>>>> in
>>>>>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>>>>>> group and jsut naturally prefer to be in a smaller group of
>>>>>>>>>>>> people
>>>>>>>>>>>> (like
>>>>>>>>>>>> one
>>>>>>>>>>>> or two ther people). I have joined the chess club--yes I am a
>>>>>>>>>>>> nerd
>>>>>>>>>>>> lol--and
>>>>>>>>>>>> really like it, and get along great with those folks. I go to
>>>>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>>>>> Spanish
>>>>>>>>>>>> table once a weekand do other things--so I make a concerted
>>>>>>>>>>>> effort.
>>>>>>>>>>>> It
>>>>>>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>>>>>>> good to know that I am not the only blind perso nthat suffers
>>>>>>>>>>>> from
>>>>>>>>>>>> these
>>>>>>>>>>>> feelings.
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> I would loe to get out there and be able to play soccer--the
>>>>>>>>>>>> real
>>>>>>>>>>>> thing,
>>>>>>>>>>>> not
>>>>>>>>>>>> some weird modified ersion with sighted people helping. Does
>>>>>>>>>>>> anyone
>>>>>>>>>>>> else
>>>>>>>>>>>> feel this way? If this is better addressed either off list or
>>>>>>>>>>>> on
>>>>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>>>>> sports
>>>>>>>>>>>> and rec list, that's fine. Just thinking of extracurricular
>>>>>>>>>>>> activities
>>>>>>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>>>>>>> I would like to participate in but can't. Soemthign we don't
>>>>>>>>>>>> really
>>>>>>>>>>>> say--but
>>>>>>>>>>>> when we say that people can participate equally--I don't know
>>>>>>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>>>>>>> it
>>>>>>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>>>>>>> entirely true when it comes to sports. Granted I've never done
>>>>>>>>>>>> it
>>>>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>>>>> way
>>>>>>>>>>>> they migh suggest, but bowling... I see no way of a totally
>>>>>>>>>>>> blind
>>>>>>>>>>>> person
>>>>>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>>>>> bowl and get the same experience out of it with out sighted
>>>>>>>>>>>> help
>>>>>>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>>>>>>> diminishes the experience; likewise, beep baseball and the
>>>>>>>>>>>> other
>>>>>>>>>>>> adapted
>>>>>>>>>>>> sports. Dont' mean to go off on something I don't know much
>>>>>>>>>>>> about,
>>>>>>>>>>>> but
>>>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>>>> think it does fit in well with our discussion of social
>>>>>>>>>>>> integration
>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>>>>> making friends, etc. Thoughts?
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> Harry
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> --- On Mon, 11/3/08, Beth wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> From: Beth
>>>>>>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] freinds
>>>>>>>>>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> Date: Monday, November 3, 2008, 1:56 PM
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> You are right, Carey. The people in question could be too busy.
>>>>>>>>>>>> However, may I point out that my younger brother, eighteen
>>>>>>>>>>>> years
>>>>>>>>>>>> old,
>>>>>>>>>>>> already has a girlfriend and runs around everywhere with her? I
>>>>>>>>>>>> am
>>>>>>>>>>>> envious of every sighted person who has a significant other,
>>>>>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>>>>> you
>>>>>>>>>>>> know why he has her? Because he can immitate appropriate social
>>>>>>>>>>>> skills. I am a firm believer in having good social skills as a
>>>>>>>>>>>> prerequisite to scoring with the oppoite sex. The key to
>>>>>>>>>>>> winning
>>>>>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>>>>>> successful date and keeping that significant other is having
>>>>>>>>>>>> good
>>>>>>>>>>>> social skills. I have a young man in college here at FSU who is
>>>>>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>>>>>> friend, but he understands unlike the previous people I've
>>>>>>>>>>>> dealt
>>>>>>>>>>>> with,
>>>>>>>>>>>> the nature of blindness and its accessories because his mom had
>>>>>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>>>>>> blind student. I've spoken to him and his mom about this issue
>>>>>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>>>>> it
>>>>>>>>>>>> just makes sense that he wouldn't simply give up on me as a
>>>>>>>>>>>> friend.
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>>>> admit I did a few things he didn't like, but then he admitted
>>>>>>>>>>>> he
>>>>>>>>>>>> wouldn't give up.
>>>>>>>>>>>> Beth
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> On 11/3/08, Carrie Gilmer wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>> I would just like to add to Beth and Hope,
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Jordan has not had many social offers himself. And he is well
>>>>>>>>>>>>> liked
>>>>>>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>>>>> this
>>>>>>>>>>>>> is key-respected- in class and in the extra curricular groups.
>>>>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>>>>> have
>>>>>>>>>>>> found
>>>>>>>>>>>>> that blind people maybe especially need to be very pro-active
>>>>>>>>>>>>> on
>>>>>>> this.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>>>>> told him once that to eat lunch with others he needed to
>>>>>>>>>>>>> initiate,
>>>>>>>>>>>>> or
>>>>>>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>>>>>> go
>>>>>>>>>>>>> out, he needed to call. I told him he was not like a Hollywood
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Star,
>>>>>>>>>>>> people
>>>>>>>>>>>>> were not going to line up to go out with him. In my own life,
>>>>>>>>>>>>> as
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>>>>>>> sighted
>>>>>>>>>>>>> person, I can tell you that nearly every one of my friendships
>>>>>>>>>>>>> are
>>>>>>>>>>>>> because
>>>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>>>>> my self kept in contact. I called, I made the lunch date, I
>>>>>>>>>>>>> invited
>>>>>>>>>>>>> them
>>>>>>>>>>>>> over, I remembered the birthday card. I have friends from
>>>>>>>>>>>>> grade
>>>>>>> school
>>>>>>>>>>>>> still, but most often I am the one to keep up the contact. It
>>>>>>>>>>>>> is
>>>>>>> often
>>>>>>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>>>>>>>> way, some people are better at it. I never care or make anyone
>>>>>>>>>>>>> feel
>>>>>>> it
>>>>>>>>>>>>> mattered if they haven't called me for three years, I don't
>>>>>>>>>>>>> even
>>>>>>>>>>>> listen to
>>>>>>>>>>>>> the "excuse" I just say forget it, how are you now, wanna do
>>>>>>>>>>>> lunch on
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Thursday and catch up?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> I know that there are people who will avoid the blindness,
>>>>>>>>>>>>> most
>>>>>>>>>>>>> are
>>>>>>>>>>>>> though
>>>>>>>>>>>>> just unsure. But I think it can affect fro your end too, in
>>>>>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>>>>>> can
>>>>>>>>>>>>> you
>>>>>>>>>>>> walk
>>>>>>>>>>>>> the walk you talk totally? Like that little girl I mentioned,
>>>>>>>>>>>>> IF
>>>>>>>>>>>>> your
>>>>>>>>>>>> skill
>>>>>>>>>>>>> level and independence is not truly equal that can effect. But
>>>>>>>>>>>>> on
>>>>>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>>>>> other
>>>>>>>>>>>>> hand kids know Jordan is equal to them in school, I think
>>>>>>>>>>>>> sometimes
>>>>>>>>>>>>> they
>>>>>>>>>>>>> don't realize he is equally independent out of school too. On
>>>>>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>>>>> other
>>>>>>>>>>>>> hand, he is often too busy to have any free time to go out,
>>>>>>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>>>>>> these
>>>>>>>>>>>>> days
>>>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>>>>> know a lot of students (my husband is a high school teacher)
>>>>>>>>>>>>> who
>>>>>>>>>>>>> are
>>>>>>>>>>>>> high
>>>>>>>>>>>>> GPA, working jobs, volunteering and in extra curricular and
>>>>>>>>>>>>> they
>>>>>>> don't
>>>>>>>>>>>> have
>>>>>>>>>>>>> time much either. So I think they aren't calling like he
>>>>>>>>>>>>> isn't,
>>>>>>>>>>>> just too
>>>>>>>>>>>>> busy!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Carrie Gilmer, President
>>>>>>>>>>>>> National Organization of Parents of Blind Children
>>>>>>>>>>>>> A Division of the National Federation of the Blind
>>>>>>>>>>>>> NFB National Center:
>>>>>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>>>>>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>>>>>>>>>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>>>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
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>>>>>>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>>>>>>> nabs-l:
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/serenacucco%40verizo
>>>>>>>> n.net
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>>> ail.com
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
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>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/albertyoo1%40hotmail
>>>>>>>> .com
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> _________________________________________________________________
>>>>>>>>> Want to read Hotmail messages in Outlook? The Wordsmiths show you
>>>>>>>>> how.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> http://windowslive.com/connect/post/wedowindowslive.spaces.live.com-Blog-cns
>>>>>>>> !20EE04FBC541789!167.entry?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_hotmail_092008
>>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>>>> nabs-l mailing list
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>>>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
>>>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>>>> nabs-l:
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/bookwormahb%40earthl
>>>>>>>> ink.net
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> __________ Information from ESET NOD32 Antivirus, version of virus
>>>>>>>>> signature database 3583 (20081104) __________
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> The message was checked by ESET NOD32 Antivirus.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> http://www.eset.com
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>>>>>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
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>>>>>>>> nabs-l:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/sarah.jevnikar%40uto
>>>>>>>> ronto.ca
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>>> nabs-l:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/thebluesisloose%40gm
>>>>>>> ail.com
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>> nabs-l:
>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/carrie.gilmer%40gmai
>>>>>>> l.com
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>>>>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
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>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>> nabs-l:
>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/graduate56%40juno.com
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> No virus found in this incoming message.
>>>>>>> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com
>>>>>>> Version: 8.0.175 / Virus Database: 270.9.0/1770 - Release Date:
>>>>>>> 11/5/2008
>>>>>>> 5:36
>>>>>>> PM
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> No virus found in this outgoing message.
>>>>>>> Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com
>>>>>>> Version: 8.0.175 / Virus Database: 270.9.2/1784 - Release Date:
>>>>>>> 11/12/2008
>>>>>>> 7:01
>>>>>>> PM
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> ____________________________________________________________
>>>>>>> Click for free info on paralegal training and make up to $150K/
>>>>>>> year.
>>>>>>> http://thirdpartyoffers.juno.com/TGL2141/fc/Ioyw6i3nffPAmJ7a8hqQrom5qEFzVrLD1Xq2qatLnzmBGWKFcxvwUZ/
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>>>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>> nabs-l:
>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/arielle71%40gmail.com
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>>>>> nabs-l:
>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/thebluesisloose%40gmail.com
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
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>>>>
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>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
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