[nabs-l] New THOUGHT PROVOKER #144- Blindness With Other Conditions

[Robert Newman]

NABS members
RE:  Blindness With Other conditions 

Love a surprise ending? In this newest THOUGHT PROVOKER I borrow from
another genre to make my point. If you have not read the PROVOKER, it
follows.  Recall that I collect responses and post them upon my web site for
all the WWW to read and learn from and that URL is-
Http://thoughtprovoker.info <http://thoughtprovoker.info/>   If you wish to
receive THOUGHT PROVOKERS sent directly to you, just write me and ask, at-
newmanrl at cox.net 

THOUGHT PROVOKER 144 
Blindness With Other Conditions 


"No, nothing else," answered Bill in response to my question- "Do you have
any other major physical or emotional or life style considerations that you
are concerned that your oncoming blindness will negatively impact or in
reverse, will make your adjustment to blindness difficult?"

I am a VR Counselor, this was my first visit with Bill. He is thirty,
rapidly going blind due to RP and had just lost his job as a truck driver.
My question reflected a major principle in achieving a successful outcome in
adjusting to any major loss- you have to deal with the whole person. 

The strain in Bill's voice, the rubbing of sweating hands on his thighs told
me my question had this guy reacting to something that he was unwilling to
share. In my mind, I couldn't help but speculate, was he an alcoholic or an
AIDS victim, or.? And so to plant the seed, an opportunity for later, I
said, "Okay. And as we get to know one another, if in the future after you
get a sense of how the rehabilitation process works, please don't hesitate
to bring up any thing you'd like to talk about." 

Bill didn't wait very long and said, "Like I was saying, I've learned over
the years that for me to.ah, manage my life, I've had to become a control
freak. And I'm afraid blindness will.make me lose control."

Finished, I walked Bill out to the reception area, where luck was with me.
Randy, my next appointment was early. "Bill, meet Randy. He also has a form
of RP, along with being deaf. And hey, he runs his own vending business."

Out in the hallway walking to the elevator, I still felt good that Bill had
met Randy, a guy that had another obviously serious condition in life to
contend with and was doing well. At the open elevator doors, I shook Bill's
hand. "I'll see you next week, at your place and we can talk more." And I
would have said more, but we were interrupted. 

"Bill, let's go," interjected a male voice with very "no-nonsense" tone.

"Richard!" I could tell Bill wasn't happy  with this intrusion. Then to me,
"This is my brother. Excuse me a moment." And taking Richard off to one
side, they talked.

Back at the elevator, Richard said, "I didn't want Bill to come to you. We
take care of our own. I'll be." 

"Richard, stop!" Bill cut off his brother. "I'll meet you at the car." Then
to me, he said,  "Robert, I apologize for my brother. We are a very close
and protective family. But ah, I don't mean to scare you, but if Richard
comes to your office or wherever, don't ask him in. He'll settle down." And
with that he was gone.

I did not see Bill again for two months. We had four rescheduled
appointments, bill calling in the day of each to cancel. Initially I thought
denial was the major factor, but each successive call felt more like
escalating stress and near panic. It is interesting to note, at some point
in each conversation, he would refer to the "control" issue. Until,
unexpectedly Bill showed up.

"I was going to stay away. But I remember you said blindness can be managed
even if you have other ah, issues, that you can still control your life. And
I can't allow myself to lose control." A deep breath. "I want to explain. My
brother and I both have.ah, are." Another deep breath, then in a rush, "I've
not hurt anyone --- I've kept control --- fear I'm losing it --- I don't
want to be like my brother."

I had listened closely, was again puzzled, but excited to have Bill opening
up. I thought, "Great, now we can get at those other key issues and work
with them along side his blindness. Now we can have the best chance to get
his life in balance; help him to get that control back that he speaks of as
being so critical." In a sense holding my breath, I asked, "This is great,
Bill. So help me to help you. Tell me what you are dealing with?"

He said, "I am a vampire."


Robert Leslie Newman 
Email- newmanrl at cox.net
THOUGHT PROVOKER Website- 
Http://www.thoughtprovoker.info