[nabs-l] Help-Philosophy Question

[Jewel S.]

Jedi,

You make a good point. One of my main worries about wheelchair use is
that once I am using a wheelchair, I'll need to use it more and more
because I'm not forcing my body to work, and it'll be a downward
spiral until I'm a full-time wheelchair user with no chance of walking
without a lot of pain and struggle. It's a difficult transition for
me. The white cane was not a difficult transition for me, though I
know some for whom it has been. Of course, I was lucky in that I was
still recovering in the hospital from my chemical burn when I got my
first cane travel lesson from a friend who's wife was totally blind.
That early introduction to cane travel that allowed me to leave my
hospital bed durin gthat looong week, and the early introduction to
Braille I received from the same friend that allowed me to spend my
time learning Braille instead of lying there sedetary allowed me to
become passionate about the impact on my life that both the cane and
Braille would have, and helped me understand from the beginning of my
blindness that I was going to be all right eventually.

I guess I have just not had that "diving in head first" experience
with the wheelchair. I still have the option of ignoring wheelchair
use and my stubborn independence tells me to forego it as long as I
can. I'm not saying it's the right course, but it's the one my mind is
telling me to take. I'm going to be seeing several new doctors
soon...a neurologist, a chiropractor, and a pain clinic specialist, so
hopefully they'll be able to help me or tell me what I need to hear to
accept my disability.

~Jewelq

On 4/22/10, Jedi <loneblindjedi at samobile.net> wrote:
> Jewel,
>
> Funnily enough, it may be the wheelchair that gives you mobility you
> haven't seemed to have for some time. Adopting a wheelchair into one's
> life is much like adopting a white cane. It's not so much the actual
> thing we're afraid of, but what it means for us to have that thing in
> our lives. For many who have trouble accepting the white cane, they're
> afraid of a lesser status or that they are accepting some kind of
> defeat. We in the Federation know that this is not the case and often
> tends to be the opposite. Just a thought.
>
> Respectfully,
> Jedi
>
> Original message:
>> I currently use a support cane. My counselors and doctor have been
>> trying to convince me to use a wheelchair or walker, but I am really
>> not ready for that. I am seeing a chiropractor Monday who thinks he
>> can help me, and hopefully I can convince my doctor that it is a good
>> idea, and maybe seeing the chiropractor will keep me out of a chair. I
>> hope to avoid it, though I will be using a chair at Disney, where one
>> has to walk a LOT, and maybe around the school campus if necessary.
>> But at 25 years old, I am simply not ready to give up my mobility.
>
>> ~Jewel
>
>> On 4/21/10, J.J. Meddaugh <jj at bestmidi.com> wrote:
>>> I usually end up going with the 50-50 for flying because I can usually
>>> still
>>> sneak it under my seat in the aisle. Given the uncomfortable nature of
>>> plains, I always choose aisle seats and for me, the bit of room gained by
>>> doing this outweighs the potential advantages of a straight cane. I did
>>> just
>>> recently have a flight attendant who asked me to hold the cane during
>>> takeoff, which I thought a bit weird considering the usual rules of
>>> keeping
>>> everything put away during this time, but oh well.
>>> All of this just to say that there is usually several different ways to
>>> do
>>> something, and just when you think you've heard all of them, someone will
>>> come along with a new and often plausible alternative.
>
>>> J.J.
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Arielle Silverman" <nabs.president at gmail.com>
>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Tuesday, April 20, 2010 11:18 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Help-Philosophy Question
>
>
>>>> Hi all,
>
>>>> Like others I often fly with a straight cane and stow it against the
>>>> window, and almost always, it's no problem. I did have one stubborn
>>>> flight attendant who wanted to put it in a closet at the front of the
>>>> plane. I compromised with her and we decided to stow the cane in the
>>>> overhead directly above my seat. We put it up together and I made sure
>>>> I knew exactly where it was and that it was in reach of my seat in the
>>>> event that I would need it in an emergency. That's another option to
>>>> consider before resorting to battle. I agree that I'd never let
>>>> someone put my cane in a closet where I couldn't get to it, but the
>>>> overhead solution, while not ideal, was good enough.
>
>>>> Arielle
>
>>>> On 4/20/10, Mary Fernandez <trillian551 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Dear all,
>>>>> There is a very simple way to ensure you keep your cane in a plane.
>>>>> Book a window seat. If you book your trip online, there is usually the
>>>>> option of choosing your seat, and even if you don't do it then, you
>>>>> can change it when you are checking into your flight online. It's a
>>>>> simple option that everyone has. However, if you do find yourself in
>>>>> this situation, first of all, be aware of your surroundings. While you
>>>>> should have your cane at all times, and it is no difficulty to put it
>>>>> next to the window seat, please don't make a big scene. There are
>>>>> passengers behind you that want to settle down and get going on the
>>>>> trip. I suggest being prepared for this kind of thing, since it is
>>>>> fairly common. I usually tell the flight attendat, if they ask, that I
>>>>> will ask the passenger sitting by the window, if they would mind very
>>>>> much if I put my cane by them. No one to date has had a problem with
>>>>> that. I usually also travel with two canes, a telescopic one in my
>>>>> purse, and my straight cane, just in case.
>>>>> Someone made a comment earlier that the NFB doesn't recognize that
>>>>> there are different ways of doing things. Aside from the symbolic
>>>>> representation the straight cane has in the Federation, it is also
>>>>> highly practical. In travel and mobility, it is highly sensitive and
>>>>> pretty sturdy for the amount of feeback it gives the traveler.
>>>>> However, it is obvious that we recognize different people have
>>>>> different thoughts and needs, and of course should have different
>>>>> options. So, you can buy a straight cane from the independence market,
>>>>> as easily as you can buy a telescopic or folding cane. No one thinks
>>>>> less of you because you use a folding cane unless you are doing it to
>>>>> hide your blindness. Our philosophy is that blindness is respectable,
>>>>> and ifyou are making a choice because it helps you hide your blindness
>>>>> better, that is just demonstrating your own insecurity. We work under
>>>>> the very same theory, that there is more than one way to do things.
>>>>> That's what we call alternative methods. Learn everything you can, and
>>>>> then apply what works best for you. In the end all that matters is
>>>>> self-acceptance, competency and never being ashamed of your blindness.
>>>>> Sincerely,
>>>>> Mary
>
>>>>> On 4/20/10, Jedi <loneblindjedi at samobile.net> wrote:
>>>>>> Jewel,
>
>>>>>> Just curious: have you given much thought to using a wheelchair or
>>>>>> even
>>>>>> a support cane with the white cane?
>
>>>>>> Respectfully,
>>>>>> Jedi
>
>
>>>>>> Original message:
>>>>>>> I have two cents to add to the thoughts about conforming and such...
>
>>>>>>> I often worry about taking help that is offered because I'm blind,
>>>>>>> but
>>>>>>> that I need because of another disability. For example, I don't need
>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>> sighted guide to keep up with a nurse at the doctor's office or
>>>>>>> follow
>>>>>>> a campus tour, but I often take the assistance of a friend to walk
>>>>>>> because of my balance problems. Walking on a friend's arm (or my
>>>>>>> boyfriend's, usually) allows me to keep my balance better, and if I
>>>>>>> *do* lose my balance, s/he can catch me. I make sure to still use my
>>>>>>> cane and make it obvious that he is *not* leading me, and sometimes
>>>>>>> we
>>>>>>> make a point for him to take my arm and me lead him (he has more
>>>>>>> vision) with the cane, because him holding my arm, while not as good
>>>>>>> as me holding his, still helps my balance, as he can catch me if I
>>>>>>> stumble, and I can lean on him as needed. But I do worry that people
>>>>>>> will see me getting assistance from my boyfriend or someone else (or
>>>>>>> accepting a stranger's arm if I'm alone) and think that I can't walk
>>>>>>> on my own because I'm blind and/or that all blind people need to be
>>>>>>> walked on the person's arm. I also hold a person's arm different than
>>>>>>> I would a sighted guide, with my hand around their elbow, because
>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>> is more sturdy, and I worry that peple will think that everyone does
>>>>>>> it that way, and not know how to do sighted guide right. I also do
>>>>>>> walking behind the person different, holding their arm more than I
>>>>>>> would a sighted guide, but it means that they are not doing their arm
>>>>>>> the right way for sighted guide, because I keep my cane out to look
>>>>>>> for obstacles.
>
>>>>>>> Another worry I have is that people will take my use of a folding
>>>>>>> cane
>>>>>>> as a sign that I am against straight canes. I'm not. I have a
>>>>>>> straight
>>>>>>> cane, in fact, that I use on the days when I know I will not have to
>>>>>>> worry about losing my balance. I *am* against telescopic canes,
>>>>>>> because they just suck, and always get stuck, but that's just
>>>>>>> personal
>>>>>>> preference. But I use a folding cane much of the time. The reason I
>>>>>>> do
>>>>>>> is that I use an aluminum folding cane. Aluminum is stronger than
>>>>>>> graphite or fibreglass, so if I am walking alone and lose my balance
>>>>>>> and fall forward on my white cane, my aluminum cane will not break
>>>>>>> under me and send me to the ground. However, I have had a fibreglass
>>>>>>> straight cane break under my weight when I stumbled and it sent me
>>>>>>> sprawling on my hands and knees. Luckily, all I got was scraps on my
>>>>>>> hands and kness and a big bone bruise on one knee, but I would not
>>>>>>> want to re-experience that, especially as a fibreglass shard could
>>>>>>> end
>>>>>>> up in my hand or leg. I plan on getting a guide dog within the year,
>>>>>>> but in the meantime, I use an aluminum folding cane or a strong
>>>>>>> graphite cane.
>
>>>>>>> The last concern I have is that because it is so hard for me to walk
>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>> lot or even stand for long, I take advantage of people's offers to
>>>>>>> get
>>>>>>> things for me, seat me first, and sit up close. I take advantage of
>>>>>>> these accommodations for my mobility issues, not for my blindness,
>>>>>>> but
>>>>>>> I worry that people will assume that because I need the assistance,
>>>>>>> all blind ppeople need it, because you know how they tend to assume
>>>>>>> that we're all alike *eyeroll*
>
>>>>>>> I know that my blindness is only a physical nuisance. It does not
>>>>>>> limit me anymore (it did when I first went blind, but I have learned
>>>>>>> much since then). But I have other limitations that keep me from
>>>>>>> doing
>>>>>>> things. As that disability is an invisible one and the blindness is
>>>>>>> obvious, people often assume that I am slow, clumsy, awkward, and
>>>>>>> need
>>>>>>> assistance because I am blind. I try to explain when I have the time,
>>>>>>> but I don't always have the time.
>
>>>>>>> Does anyone have suggestions on how I can show people that blindness
>>>>>>> is not limiting me and help them understand that blindness is not
>>>>>>> limiting if you have the training and tools, but that my other
>>>>>>> disability does limit me, but not necessarily others? I have done a
>>>>>>> few things, such as cooking homemade candies to bring to my support
>>>>>>> group for adult survivors of childhood abuse, to show them what I
>>>>>>> *can* do because  they were treating me like I would break. One guy
>>>>>>> asked who made them, and when I said I did, he said "But aren't you
>>>>>>> blind? How do you cook?" And I told him that "it's easy; I listen for
>>>>>>> the boiling and roll the candy in the sugar with my fingers. It
>>>>>>> doesn't take sight to cook. I cook without looking." And I think I
>>>>>>> gained a bit of respect from the group that way. But I stil l need
>>>>>>> someone's help to get to a chair (not to find it, but to walk there),
>>>>>>> and I still don't get up during break to get a snack because it hurts
>>>>>>> to walk a lot after sitting for awhile, so I ask a friend in the
>>>>>>> group
>>>>>>> to grab an extra snack for me.
>
>>>>>>> My two cents,
>>>>>>> Jewel
>
>>>>>>> On 4/20/10, Darian Smith <dsmithnfb at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>> Hello all,
>>>>>>>>   My feeling on the matter is that we can generally do better by
>>>>>>>> handeling things in a less confrentational manner when possible.
>>>>>>>> While  this is easier said than done,  I think it's worth taking  a
>>>>>>>> second (if possible depending on the situation)  and  try to  look
>>>>>>>> at
>>>>>>>> what you need or  would like to get out of the situation you are in.
>>>>>>>>   I find it difficult to balance the  short-term solution and
>>>>>>>> long-term results of that  dicision made (example:if someone takes
>>>>>>>> one's cane on an airplane or  even in a differennt situation such as
>>>>>>>> somebody insisting  in helping  you across the street).
>>>>>>>>  Sometimes i have to ask myself, when do I make a dicision for the
>>>>>>>> good of other blind people, or for my  own good? Should I  take my
>>>>>>>> long cane  because  it somehow  better models  my comfort in
>>>>>>>> blindness
>>>>>>>> to other people?    or should I take a telescoping cane because it's
>>>>>>>> easier to carry  and it  still conforms to  what is  an NFB cane?
>>>>>>>> Or,
>>>>>>>> do I use a folding cane because I'm feeling like it's  less likely
>>>>>>>> to
>>>>>>>> get broken of someone steps on it while  traveling?   The question
>>>>>>>> that I think is worth asking is- is there a "model positive image of
>>>>>>>> blindness"?  In much the same way that people tend to  look for the
>>>>>>>> ideal image of  gender or ethnicity, is there such an Ideal  for the
>>>>>>>> blind?
>>>>>>>>    if so, is that what we all  must conform to?   or is there a such
>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>> thing as conformity in the blind community and in this case, the
>>>>>>>> Federation community/family?
>>>>>>>>   Best,
>>>>>>>>   Darian
>
>
>>>>>>>> On 4/20/10, Briley Pollard <brileyp at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>>>> Good morning,
>
>>>>>>>>> I wasn't there, so I can't speak to how your friend handled the
>>>>>>>>> situation.
>>>>>>>>> The fact of the matter is though that allowing airline personel to
>>>>>>>>> take
>>>>>>>>> our
>>>>>>>>> mobility aids awe frm us is, A, illegal, and B, degrading. It also
>>>>>>>>> sets
>>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>>> bad precedent for blind people that may be traveling with them in
>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>> future. That said, it is of course better to use a calm
>>>>>>>>> professional
>>>>>>>>> tone
>>>>>>>>> when dealing with this kind of situation. There is a quiet way to
>>>>>>>>> insist
>>>>>>>>> that our rights as blind people be respected. Also explaining the
>>>>>>>>> why's
>>>>>>>>> of
>>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>>> certain ideal often help. This wasn't a situation where your friend
>>>>>>>>> should've just "let it go" for the sake of peace, but perhaps she
>>>>>>>>> could've
>>>>>>>>> handled it in a calmer way.
>
>>>>>>>>> The Throw the Nickel principal applies more to accepting help I
>>>>>>>>> think
>>>>>>>>> than
>>>>>>>>> having our rights ignored. In that situation, it was better to
>>>>>>>>> accept
>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>> kindness of a stranger than to make a fuss. This has to do with the
>>>>>>>>> airplane
>>>>>>>>> rights of a lot of people, and while we should always be calm and
>>>>>>>>> professional, but sometimes confrontation is required to bring
>>>>>>>>> about
>>>>>>>>> change.
>
>>>>>>>>> Just my 10 cents.
>
>>>>>>>>> BrileyOn Apr 19, 2010, at 10:34 PM, Candice Chapman wrote:
>
>
>>>>>>>>>> Dear NABS members,
>
>>>>>>>>>> I recentally was in a situation where my NFB philosophy was put to
>>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>>> test. I was travelling with a friend who is totally blind by
>>>>>>>>>> airplane
>>>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>>> we got into a confrontational situation with the flight attendant.
>>>>>>>>>> She
>>>>>>>>>> insisted upon taking my friend's straight cane, but didn't have a
>>>>>>>>>> problem
>>>>>>>>>> with mine since it was teloscopic. Perhaps she assumed that
>>>>>>>>>> storing
>>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>>> straight cane would be a hazard. My friend proceeded to have a
>>>>>>>>>> loud,
>>>>>>>>>> obnoxious verbal confrontation, that resulted in hold up of
>>>>>>>>>> traffic
>>>>>>>>>> and
>>>>>>>>>> embarrassment on my part. Eventually the conflict, due to time
>>>>>>>>>> constraint,
>>>>>>>>>> my friend was finally mollified and allowed to keep her cane.
>>>>>>>>>> However
>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>> can't help but wonder if there was a more diplomatic way to handle
>>>>>>>>>> the
>>>>>>>>>> situation. It brings to mind an article by Dr. Kenneth Jernigan,
>>>>>>>>>> perhaps
>>>>>>>>>> you guys know it, it's in The Master, The Mission, The Movement.
>>>>>>>>>> The
>>>>>>>>>> article is titled, "Don't Throw the Nickel."
>
>>>>>>>>>> How do you think the confrontation could have been handled more
>>>>>>>>>> delicately? In the above article Dr.Jernigan referenced many
>>>>>>>>>> situations
>>>>>>>>>> in
>>>>>>>>>> which you could choose your battle. Perhaps it's true that you can
>>>>>>>>>> make
>>>>>>>>>> a
>>>>>>>>>> situation worse by escalating a said situation with a sighted
>>>>>>>>>> person,
>>>>>>>>>> rather than taking the high road. What are your thoughts on the
>>>>>>>>>> art
>>>>>>>>>> of
>>>>>>>>>> negotiationg NFB philosophy? What might you suggest as potential
>>>>>>>>>> alternatives to the above confrontation? I would like to hear all
>>>>>>>>>> of
>>>>>>>>>> your
>>>>>>>>>> thoughts on the importance of our philosophy in the lives of blind
>>>>>>>>>> people.
>
>
>>>>>>>>>> Best,
>>>>>>>>>> Candice Chapman
>
>>>>>>>>>> P.S. The Article is attached for your convience.
>>>>>>>>>> _________________________________________________________________
>>>>>>>>>> The New Busy is not the old busy. Search, chat and e-mail from
>>>>>>>>>> your
>>>>>>>>>> inbox.
>>>>>>>>>> http://www.windowslive.com/campaign/thenewbusy?ocid=PID28326::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:en-US:WM_HMP:042010_3<Don't
>>>>>>>>>> Throw The
>>>>>>>>>> Nickel.doc>_______________________________________________
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>
>
>>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>>>> nabs-l mailing list
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>
>
>
>>>>>>>> --
>>>>>>>> Darian Smith
>>>>>>>> Skype: The_Blind_Truth
>>>>>>>> Windows Live: Lightningrod2010 at live.com
>>>>>>>> The National Federation of the Blind has launched a nationwide
>>>>>>>> teacher
>>>>>>>> recruitment campaign to help attract energetic and passionate
>>>>>>>> individuals into the field of blindness education, and we need your
>>>>>>>> help!   To Get Involved  go to:
>>>>>>>> www.TeachBlindStudents.org
>
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>
>>>>> --
>>>>> Mary Fernandez
>>>>> Emory University 2012
>>>>> P.O. Box 123056
>>>>> Atlanta Ga.
>>>>> 30322
>>>>> Phone: 732-857-7004
>>>>> In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that
>>>>> greatness is never a given. It must be earned.
>>>>> President Barack Obama
>
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>
>
>>>> --
>>>> Arielle Silverman
>>>> President, National Association of Blind Students
>>>> Phone:  602-502-2255
>>>> Email:
>>>> nabs.president at gmail.com
>>>> Website:
>>>> www.nabslink.org
>
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