[nabs-l] Am I the only one?Two Questions

[Claudia Perry]

Hello Jen - I really appreciate your perspective. I have not been
blind since birth, and believe me, I would give up blindness any day!
I am not ashamed to be blind, I find it having slowed me down. As for
the procedures, I think that blind individuals tend to like everything
you discussed, because you have some sort of control. Sighted
individuals struggle with this and do not practice it like you and I
do. I am not a total, but I can only see light on or off at 1% degree
of vision -- virtually not much. I wish you could see the beauty of
life, but I suppose that not being able to see it ever, you would not
know what to compare it to. I guess, if I had to compare it in other
senses, take seeing like listening to music using a Bose stereo
system, or eating the most decadent dish you have ever tasted --
nothing compares to the beauty of seeing colors. Additionally, I think
that individuals miss out on some things that you may not known
existed, because you cannot see it. And let's face it, no one is that
patient to describe every little thing in this world. For instance,
take candy, have you ever tryied a Chic-O-Stick, or Nerds candy? I had
a completely blind friend of mine try these and she loved them. She
had NEVER tired them in her life, and she is a 50+ old woman...I
believe she has been also blind all her life.  -- Claudia

On 3/16/10, Arielle Silverman <nabs.president at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi all,
>
> First of all, I think it's totally natural to be curious about
> experiences that you have never had, and doesn't have any deeper
> meaning. I too have never had any vision except light perception, and
> I sometimes wonder what it would be like to experience vision and all
> its components, simply because most other people around me have these
> experiences.
>
> Regarding wishing or desiring to see, while this is a little different
> than mere curiosity, I also think it's normal. I have often heard NFB
> members express the concern that wanting to be able to see or
> temporarily wishing they could see is at odds with NFB philosophy,,
> and I think these fears are unfounded. The NFB's former president,
> Kenneth Jernigan, made the oft-quoted statement that "with proper
> training and opportunity, blindness can be reduced to the level of a
> mere nuisance". According to www.dictionary.com, the word "nuisance"
> is defined as meaning "an obnoxious or annoying person, thing,
> condition, etc." So, even by Dr. Jernigan's optimistic standards,
> blindness is, frankly,, a big pain in the butt sometimes. You can
> believe that blindness is obnoxious or annoying without any departure
> from NFB philosophy. The point is not that blindness is a nothing or a
> neutral condition, but that blindness isn't the tragedy or disaster
> that many people think it to be, and doesn't prevent you from leading
> a full and satisfying life. There are plenty of situations in which
> blindness is less fun or less convenient than being sighted, and in
> these acknowledged cases it is natural to wish for the ease that sight
> would afford in that particular situation.
>
> So I think there's nothing wrong or "un-NFB-like" about supporting
> sight restoration research, for instance, or even being the
> beneficiary of a procedure once it becomes available. I would only be
> concerned if your interest in sight is constant and stems from a
> fundamental discontent with yourself and a feature of yourself that
> you can't change. Wishing for something you can't have (assuming your
> blindness is incurable) isn't an enjoyable or a healthy way to live
> life.
>
> I think we have all had instances when we felt dissatisfied with
> ourselves and our blindness, and may still come across those
> situations today. As blind people, we are constantly facing blatant
> and subtle signals that we are inferior to the sighted. If we don't
> have proper training and opportunity, we can all too easily succumb to
> this popular view of blindness and begin to see ourselves as broken
> people.
>
> When I was in middle school, I would periodically fantasize about
> being sighted. When I think about those times now, I realize that I
> didn't fantasize about seeing things, people's faces, or anything like
> that. I fantasized about the social acceptance and normalcy that I
> thought I would gain in the sighted world if I could see. For example,
> I remember thinking during O&M lessons, "I wish I could see because if
> I could, I wouldn't be out with this embarrassing mobility teacher guy
> and I'd be in drama class with my friends". Toward the end of seventh
> grade, I started feeling perpetually depressed about being blind and
> angry with sighted people for acting like they were "better" than me,
> and I perceived that blindness was what made me not belong in the
> sighted community like I wanted to. One day during the summer of that
> year, after I got home from a day camp I was attending (with sighted
> kids), I remember bursting into tears and saying something to the
> effect of, "I hate this camp, I'm tired of being blind, and I never
> want to go out and deal with sighted people again." I think this was
> when I hit bottom in regard to my acceptance of blindness, because
> after that I don't recall ever feeling such intense discontent or
> frustration with my blindness. Shortly after that day, I started
> spending more time with blind peers, and I realized that I could
> experience normal friendships with them and that it was OK to be
> blind. My journey to acceptance continued when I joined the NFB and
> understood that those who held negative views about my capabilities as
> a blind person were mistaken. I realize now that the negativity I felt
> wasn't a direct result of my blindness. Rather, it resulted from the
> dependency I felt on others because I didn't have proper training, as
> well as the isolation I experienced because I felt like I was the only
> one.
>
> I imagine that most if not all of us have had experiences like this,
> and I think that the intense negativity toward blindness, and the
> aching for sight, is a call to action. If you find yourself feeling
> this way, think of ways you can make blindness less of a burden. It
> may mean getting training, or moving away from someone in your life
> who is over-protecting you or making you feel inadequate, or getting
> to know blind peers or role models with whom you have common
> interests. On the other hand, if you generally feel good about
> yourself and what you're doing, but just occasionally get annoyed by
> blindness or think about being sighted, I don't think that's cause for
> concern.
>
> As a final note, regarding Jen's second question, I don't think
> blindness has anything to do with it. People differ in what
> psychologists call "need for structure", or their tendency to use
> rules and routines in their everyday lives.
> Again, it isn't a problem unless it's making you so rigid that it's
> hard to enjoy life, or participate in daily activities.
>
> Arielle
>
> On 3/16/10, Darian Smith <dsmithnfb at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hi all,
>>   I  once had vision- partial vision.  do I  miss it? sure, sometimes
>> but  not always.  is not having vision the end of the world or  the
>> end of life on this plannet?  obviously not; we have  how many million
>> blind people on this  planet?  The beauty of  being around other
>> blind people  is  that they all have different  tips and tricks they
>> use to live life and live it  to the fullest. So, while vision is  not
>>  all it's cracked up to be;  there's nothing wrong with  wondering  or
>>  wishing if that's how you feel.
>>   I think that  the Idea of wanting to see, is normal. we, as humans
>> have  an interest from a young age in   wanting to  learn  about
>> things we  don't know.  We want to  fanticize about flying or  having
>>  a magical ability, that's just kind of  how we are, so   I think that
>>  what you feel  is  totally normal.
>>    Making rules and  living in a box are both things that are  not
>> exclusive to blindness ( or so I think).
>>  When you think about it,  people have different ways of   getting
>> things  done; thing of the memory devices people utilize to remember
>> names or numbers, I think that's ken to having a rule for something.
>> I am reminded of a Star Trek  (the  next generation) Episode where
>> "Robin  Lefler" creates abook of rules "Lefler's laws".  Point is,
>> people do it, and it's not a blindness thing.
>>   as for the  "Box"  i think it can be  best explained as  one's
>> comfort zone.   People  have  either an easier time or a harder time
>> dealing  with  reaching out of their comfort zone, depending on the
>> person. Again, I've found it's not a blindness thing  at all.  I  have
>> friends that  are  better at reaching out  and beyond their zone than
>> I, and  yet there are some friends that  might find this harder to do
>> than I  may find.
>>   i hope this helps.
>>   Darian
>>
>>
>> On 3/16/10, Rania <raniaismail04 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> I also wish I can see what things look like!
>>> Like you I have been blind sinse birth.
>>> Rania,
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>>> Behalf
>>> Of Mary Fernandez
>>> Sent: Monday, March 15, 2010 10:30 PM
>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Am I the only one?Two Questions
>>>
>>> Hi Jen,
>>> Both your questions are highly intriguing and thought provoking. I for
>>> one,
>>> think that it is only natural and human to want to see as a blind person.
>>> Most of us have found wways with which we have succeeded in life. We know
>>> the alternative skills, we are competent people, and we have satisfactory
>>> lives. However, blindness is an inconvenience. While it is not the
>>> tragedy
>>> that the sighted world thinks it is, it does cause us frustration and
>>> annoyance. Most of that frustration is due to the fact of how others view
>>> us. Oh, what i wouldn't give to be able to walk into a room and have
>>> people
>>> say, oh look, she seems to be a nice person, ;instead of, Gasp, she's
>>> blind,
>>> and she's walking! For me though, aside from public attitudes, I really
>>> really wish I could drive. I am a highly independent and somewhat
>>> impatient
>>> person. In Atlanta, public transportation isn't the best, and oh, how i
>>> hate
>>> wating on saturdays for a bus that is over an hour late. And I really
>>> don't
>>> like asking people for rides since everyone is busy. Of course, most of
>>> my
>>> friends wouldn't refuse, but who wants to be a burden all the time?
>>> Long story short, it is perfectly normal to feel that way. Sighted people
>>> don't wish they could see, but some wish they were married, others that
>>> they
>>> had gotten an educations, still others that they had a different job. We
>>> all
>>> wish for things that we can't have. It's human nature. But as long as it
>>> is
>>> only a passing thought, something that doesn't stop us from living a full
>>> and meaningful life, it's not somethign to be overly worried about.
>>>
>>> As to your second question. I think this is merely a personality trait as
>>> opposed to a blind specific trait. It is true, that a lot of blind people
>>> like to be in control, because we have no control over our lack of sight,
>>> it
>>> is comforting, and often a smart thing to have set ways of doing things.
>>> Knowing as much as we can about our environment, and being able to run
>>> our
>>> lives in a predictable fashion is important, not only to blind people,
>>> but
>>> to everyone. However, being boxed in all the time, and never venturing
>>> out
>>> of a set parameter isn't always healthy.
>>> I think that we all, as individuals should try to do things
>>> differently at some point. Sometimes   doing something a different
>>> way, or approaching a problem from a different perspective is very
>>> healthy.
>>> If we get boxed in, and set in our ways, it might lead us to become stuck
>>> in
>>> situations that can be solved in different ways. This is especially
>>> important for blind individuals, because we can't always do thing a
>>> certain
>>> way so we have to look for alternatives. Last semester, I was taking a
>>> statistics class, and I was so determined and used to being able to get
>>> everything accomplished on my own, without any sighted help, that I
>>> completely oversaw the solution right in front of my face. Hiring someone
>>> to
>>> describe graphics while I figured out a way to do it myself would have
>>> been
>>> the perfect solution. But instead, I had gotten so boxed in just hitting
>>> my
>>> head against a wall until it gave up, that I had to withdraw from the
>>> class.
>>> I was so stuck in the fact that I didn't have my books, had never used a
>>> statistics computer program, and my professor was unhelpful, that I just
>>> failed to look a the problem from a different perspective. I've learned
>>> my
>>> lesson. And it is a valuable one to learn at an early stage. We have
>>> different reasons for wanting to have structured lives.
>>> Someone mentioned fear, wanting to have complete control or even just
>>> because we don't care to know a different way since we have never needed
>>> to
>>> do so. These are all legitimate reasons, but it is important to recognize
>>> that getting set in our ways can lead to failure instead of success.
>>> I'm so sorry I went on so long.
>>> Hope this help though.
>>> Mary
>>>
>>>
>>> On 3/15/10, Hope Paulos <hope.paulos at maine.edu> wrote:
>>>> Hi there. I sometimes wish I can see, but am perfectly fine being
>>>> blind. As far as living life inside a box.. I do this, but am trying
>>>> to break out of it. I want to be more spontaneous. In my case, living
>>>> in my box is due to fear. Therefore, I'm attempting to becoome less
>>>> fearful and more relaxed. To be honest (and brutally so) I believe
>>>> living in one's box is a "blindism", that not all blind people have, but
>>> many do.
>>>> HTH.
>>>> Hope and Beignet
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "Jen" <spiderweb1 at sbcglobal.net>
>>>> To: <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Monday, March 15, 2010 4:51 PM
>>>> Subject: [nabs-l] Am I the only one?Two Questions
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> 1. Am I the only one who sometimes wishes he / she could see?
>>>>>
>>>>> I am comfortable with my blindness and would not want to be sighted,
>>>>> but still wonder and am fascinated by what things look like at times
>>>>> (for new members, I have been blind since birth.)
>>>>>
>>>>> Yesterday, I took my my to a River Dance concert for her birthday. I
>>>>> loved the music but wanted to see the dancing that went with it as
>>>>> well.
>>>>> It was hard to try to picture it based on the music...
>>>>>
>>>>> 2. I love / cling to procedural order in life - follow all steps, and
>>>>> nothing can or will go wrong. I also try to make rules for everything
>>>>> that won't change so everything is in a contained "box" in my mind
>>>>> out of which it can't escape. I also find rules comforting so I don't
>>>>> have to think and can just do something automatically. An example of
>>>>> such a rule is "always take out your book in class [even if the
>>>>> professor isn't using it that day.] If you do this, you will always be
>>>>> a
>>> good student.
>>>>> If you don't, you are a bad student."
>>>>>
>>>>> I know there are no guarantees for things but still cling to the
>>>>> procedural mind set to keep my mental boxes of rules intact. Is being
>>>>> overly procedure-oriented a "blindism" or something with which the
>>>>> sighted struggle as well?
>>>>>
>>>>> Thanks for your input.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
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>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> Mary Fernandez
>>> Emory University 2012
>>> P.O. Box 123056
>>> Atlanta Ga.
>>> 30322
>>> Phone: 732-857-7004
>>> In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness
>>> is
>>> never a given. It must be earned.
>>> President Barack Obama
>>>
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>>
>>
>> --
>> Darian Smith
>> Skype: The_Blind_Truth
>> Windows Live: Lightningrod2010 at live.com
>> The National Federation of the Blind has launched a nationwide teacher
>> recruitment campaign to help attract energetic and passionate
>> individuals into the field of blindness education, and we need your
>> help!   To Get Involved  go to:
>> www.TeachBlindStudents.org
>>
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>
>
> --
> Arielle Silverman
> President, National Association of Blind Students
> Phone:  602-502-2255
> Email:
> nabs.president at gmail.com
> Website:
> www.nabslink.org
>
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