[nabs-l] questions about cane travel and independent travel

[Serena]

Of course, you don't want to be a burden to yoru new acquaintance.  Using 
sighted guide in the restaurant and the movies, however, would be a good 
idea.  Although it may seem like a burden to have your friend guide you, 
having her verbally direct you could seem like more of a burden to her, 
since she doesn't know how to do that yet.  Also, assuming you're not trying 
to learn the layout of the restaurant or the movie theater, socializing with 
your friend is more important.  Unless you're a spacial geneous, you won't 
really learn much about the layout if your friend verbally directs you. 
Let's face it ... restaurants are crowded places!  It isn't always as easy 
to follow your friend in a crowded place as walking on the street.  As long 
as you're the person making the decision to use sighted guide, not your 
friend making you use it, then it's fine for you to use it in the restaurant 
and the movies.  Use your cane when you're using sighted guide!

Serena


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Kerri Kosten" <kerrik2006 at gmail.com>
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list" 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, May 12, 2010 12:56 AM
Subject: [nabs-l] questions about cane travel and independent travel


> Hi All:
>
> First, I wanted to say thanks for all your help/answers to my other
> posts. I really appreciate it!
>
> I have another independent travel/cane travel question.
>
> Basically, if you have not had training when is it appropriate to be
> guided and when should I be using my cane?
>
> Before I got my nfb cane and really became interested in the NFB, I
> was guided everywhere all the time. I had one of those short heavy
> folding canes and would bring it along but not use it. I have since
> learned that guiding me everywhere (I am totally blind) was definitely
> the wrong approach and was much more damaging than helpful.
>
> I ordered and received an NFB cane a few months ago and really like
> it. However, it is still hard to not use sighted guide...my mother
> wants to guide me all the time, and I feel like I have to fight and
> battle to use my cane which isn't right! Though I don't mind being
> guided in certain situations or if I am in a hurry, I think it is very
> important to use it sparingly. Though guiding is definitely easier, if
> I don't begin to use my cane and resist the guiding I'll never learn
> and become independent.
>
> In the past I have had a lot of trouble making friends and fitting in
> with sighted people. I used to not understand why this is, but now I
> really believe it was because of my lack of independence as a blind
> person. For example, if a person wanted to do something they would
> pick me up and drive me back home no matter how convient or inconvient
> it may be for them; I didn't know how to use cabs. They would of
> course always guide me everywhere, sometimes I believe I brought the
> cane but never used it. If we ate at a restaurant and there was a tray
> they would carry it to and from the table when we got the food or I
> was finished. I would ocationly carry the drink but that was it. When
> I look back at all of it, I think it really took a toll on the person
> because it made it so that hanging out with me was more of a
> responsibility/chore than just going to get coffee with a friend.
>
> I have a chance to hang out with another sighted person tomorrow. I
> have never hung out with this girl before. I don't want to be
> rebelliously independent or be a pain/make it an unpleasant experience
> with my display of independence but I don't want it to be like it used
> to where this girl has to do everything for me, pick me up, take me
> home, guide me...everything.
>
> We are planning to go to out to eat and to a movie.
>
> I have already offered to meet her there, but she says she does not
> mind picking me up at all so if it's truly no inconvience to her I may
> let her.
>
> But, once we get to the restaurant and then later to hte movies do I
> follow her and use my cane or let her guide me?
>
> How do I handle this with my mother?
>
> As I sadid before it's certainly easier to take an arm but if I do it
> all the time I never learn to use my cane.
>
> I want to do what's age-appropriate. I am 22...so do I think of it as
> "Would a sighted 22-year-old follow this person or would they take an
> arm?"
>
> I am not one of those people who just does what the NFB says all the
> time...but cane travel and independent travel is very important to me
> and I want to become as good and efficient with it as possible. While
> I believe guiding is good in some situations I want to be careful and
> use it sparingly!
>
> Thanks!
> Kerri
>
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