[nabs-l] questions about cane travel and independent travel

Fri May 14 03:06:30 UTC 2010

Kerri,
I am so happy your outing went well. I wish you many more fun outings  
in the future, and please feel free to ask any nummber of questions  
you have in the future!

Sarah

Quoting Kerri Kosten <kerrik2006 at gmail.com>:

> Hi All:
>
> Just wanted to update about tonight!
>
> I went with my friend and it was a lot of fun!
>
> I just took your advice and took her arm and used my cane on the other
> side. This really helped actually, and made me very independent in a
> sense, because the cane came to steps, curbs, and cars that were on my
> other side and my friend didn't have to tell me once to step up or
> down or anything like that! I explained to her what the cane did, and
> the first couple of times it came across an obsticle or came to a step
> up or curb she was able to see how it worked and how it helped me...I
> think she was impressed.
>
> By doing this, I definitely understood what you all have been telling
> me...there is a time and place to follow and use the cane and be
> totally independent but with a friend many times it looks better, and
> in my opinion at least gives them a better impression of blindness if
> you just take their arm and use the cane on the other side. This way
> you don't have to struggle to concentrate on following their
> directions and you can have a conversation with them but at the same
> time not be totally depending on them and looking helpless.
>
> I have not been able to try it much yet, but I do think I could do
> this by myself if I had to, and wwhen I do go to the movies or mall or
> somewhere by myself where it is appropriate to do so I will use my
> cane and just follow or explore!
>
> Thanks for all the help/suggestions/support. It helped me understand
> things a lot better and I believe I now understand the role of
> independence a lot more!
> Kerri
>
> On 5/12/10, Jedi <loneblindjedi at samobile.net> wrote:
>> Kerri,
>>
>> It sounds like you've got the hang of things. However, I would advise
>> you to make your decisions based on your own comfort first before
>> worrying about anyone else's. Your friend might be uncomfortable giving
>> you directions at first, but that's no reason to simply take an arm.
>> She'll be uncomfortable for a while until she gets the hang of giving
>> verbal instructions. It will also take some time for you to get
>> comfortable receiving and acting on them. You will probaby find that
>> your comfort with independent travel will increase the more you do it.
>>
>> Respectfully,
>> Jedi
>>
>>
>> Original message:
>>> Hey All:
>>
>>> Thanks for the posts again and the support!
>>
>>> I think I will just take all of your advice and use my judgment. I
>>> think I'll nice tell my friend that if she doesn't mind I would like
>>> to try to use my cane and walk beside her and she can give me
>>> directions but that if she feels uncomfortable at any time or the
>>> restaurant is really noisy and following her does create more of a
>>> scene than necessary I'll take her arm. Same for the movie
>>> theater...if she is cool with me walking beside her with my cane while
>>> she gives me directions and she is comfortable and things go smoothly
>>> and it's not causing a huge scene or she isn't say shouting loudly in
>>> order for me to hear her directions/follow her than I'll take an arm.
>>
>>> I think you are right...it's a judgment call but now it seems simple
>>> to me...use the cane when it is comfortable and the process is
>>> unobtrusive and does not cause a scene but if I'm in a huge hurry or
>>> there is too much noise than grab an arm!
>>
>>> I am going to try doing some independent travel this weekend to a
>>> couple of places to practice more of my cane travel.
>>
>>> Thanks again!
>>> Kerri
>>
>>> Kerri
>>
>>> On 5/12/10, Ashley  Bramlett <bookwormahb at earthlink.net> wrote:
>>>> Carrie,
>>
>>>> I am still in my 20's and struggle with this question.  When I was your
>>>> age
>>>> I was in the middle of college and just starting to make sighted friends
>>>> who
>>>> seemed comfortable with me.  I have tunnel vision, so if I'm going
>>>> anywhere
>>>> alone I need my cane.
>>
>>>> I don't think your problems fitting in with sighted people was just due
>>>> to
>>>> your travel skills.  It was likely other factors such as personality,
>>>> lack
>>>> of common interests, and perhaps dress.  In public school I found
>>>> students
>>>> were very kliqely.  If you did not have interests and dress like the
>>>> klique,
>>>> you were not in this close group, the klique.  Students were often in
>>>> their
>>>> own world and would not accept someone different.  Did you go to a
>>>> diverse
>>>> city school?  Well I did, with thousands of students.  I'm sure others
>>>> observed this too.  The Asian students hung together; the Latinos hung
>>>> together; the choir group was together; the football group was together.
>>>> Why is that?  Well because they have something in common such as
>>>> language,
>>>> culture or interest.  I'm sure everyone has observed this in large
>>>> institutions such as school.
>>>> So yes your independence was a factor but don't think it was the only
>>>> factor.  I also was guided by my mother or family the majority of the
>>>> time,
>>>> but not in school of course.
>>
>>>> If you have been completely blind, surely you recieved some O and M
>>>> service
>>>> through school.  I know I did, but it was not enough.  But it showed me
>>>> the
>>>> basics to get started.  I only saw the O and M teacher a few times a
>>>> month,
>>>> so of course we could not cover too much.
>>
>>>> Now as to the situation with your friend, do have fun anbe friendly.  Its
>>>> a
>>>> judgement call on your end.  I think accepting assistance  in some
>>>> situations is totally appropriate.  So if its convenient for your friend
>>>> to
>>>> pick you up, you can accept it; she would probably do the same for other
>>>> friends without cars.  I agree with Katie that taking a person's arm in
>>>> unfamiliar places makes it
>>>> easier to have conversations.
>>>> I think sighted guide is fine in restaurants and movie theaters.  This is
>>>> because restaurants can be noisy with narrow spaces between tables.  You
>>>> will make a scene if your friend has to tell you directions and talk to
>>>> you
>>>> to get to your table.  Next in the movie theater that is a quiet place
>>>> and
>>>> I'm sure you and your friend wish to sit together.  So just take her arm
>>>> and
>>>> she can lead you to a seat.
>>
>>>> Other open places with friends or family it may be more appropriate to
>>>> follow them and use your cane.  This may be a mall or park or some other
>>>> trip like going to a museum.  But some places either due to noise or the
>>>> quietness it just sounds better to me to go sighted guide so you don't
>>>> disrupt activity.
>>
>>>> I assume you live at home still.  If so that's difficult to create
>>>> independent opportunities.  If your mom is like mine she is protective
>>>> and
>>>> does not have confidence in my abilities.  I know I don't have a good
>>>> sense
>>>> of direction, but practice will help things.  Maybe plan an outing alone
>>>> such as to the mall.  You said in another post you were going to a mall
>>>> and
>>>> bar.
>>>> That is a good opportunity.  Go to a mall or maybe a strip shopping
>>>> center.
>>>> Have a goal to find so many stores.
>>>> If there is a special occasion in your family such as a birthday or
>>>> anniversary do some research where you can find a particular gift or
>>>> card.
>>>> You can either do this online or by calling stores to find out what they
>>>> sell.  Then plan an independent trip to those stores and buy a present.
>>>> Your family member will be impressed when you present it to them.
>>
>>>> as for your mom, I have the same problem and wish I had a better
>>>> solution.
>>>> All I can think of is to talk to her.  Be nice but say now that you got a
>>>> new cane and you are getting older you would like to walk independently.
>>>> Tell her you'll get better with practice.
>>
>>>> HTH,
>>>> Ashley
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: "Kerri Kosten" <kerrik2006 at gmail.com>
>>>> To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
>>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, May 12, 2010 12:56 AM
>>>> Subject: [nabs-l] questions about cane travel and independent travel
>>
>>
>>>>> Hi All:
>>
>>>>> First, I wanted to say thanks for all your help/answers to my other
>>>>> posts. I really appreciate it!
>>
>>>>> I have another independent travel/cane travel question.
>>
>>>>> Basically, if you have not had training when is it appropriate to be
>>>>> guided and when should I be using my cane?
>>
>>>>> Before I got my nfb cane and really became interested in the NFB, I
>>>>> was guided everywhere all the time. I had one of those short heavy
>>>>> folding canes and would bring it along but not use it. I have since
>>>>> learned that guiding me everywhere (I am totally blind) was definitely
>>>>> the wrong approach and was much more damaging than helpful.
>>
>>>>> I ordered and received an NFB cane a few months ago and really like
>>>>> it. However, it is still hard to not use sighted guide...my mother
>>>>> wants to guide me all the time, and I feel like I have to fight and
>>>>> battle to use my cane which isn't right! Though I don't mind being
>>>>> guided in certain situations or if I am in a hurry, I think it is very
>>>>> important to use it sparingly. Though guiding is definitely easier, if
>>>>> I don't begin to use my cane and resist the guiding I'll never learn
>>>>> and become independent.
>>
>>>>> In the past I have had a lot of trouble making friends and fitting in
>>>>> with sighted people. I used to not understand why this is, but now I
>>>>> really believe it was because of my lack of independence as a blind
>>>>> person. For example, if a person wanted to do something they would
>>>>> pick me up and drive me back home no matter how convient or inconvient
>>>>> it may be for them; I didn't know how to use cabs. They would of
>>>>> course always guide me everywhere, sometimes I believe I brought the
>>>>> cane but never used it. If we ate at a restaurant and there was a tray
>>>>> they would carry it to and from the table when we got the food or I
>>>>> was finished. I would ocationly carry the drink but that was it. When
>>>>> I look back at all of it, I think it really took a toll on the person
>>>>> because it made it so that hanging out with me was more of a
>>>>> responsibility/chore than just going to get coffee with a friend.
>>
>>>>> I have a chance to hang out with another sighted person tomorrow. I
>>>>> have never hung out with this girl before. I don't want to be
>>>>> rebelliously independent or be a pain/make it an unpleasant experience
>>>>> with my display of independence but I don't want it to be like it used
>>>>> to where this girl has to do everything for me, pick me up, take me
>>>>> home, guide me...everything.
>>
>>>>> We are planning to go to out to eat and to a movie.
>>
>>>>> I have already offered to meet her there, but she says she does not
>>>>> mind picking me up at all so if it's truly no inconvience to her I may
>>>>> let her.
>>
>>>>> But, once we get to the restaurant and then later to hte movies do I
>>>>> follow her and use my cane or let her guide me?
>>
>>>>> How do I handle this with my mother?
>>
>>>>> As I sadid before it's certainly easier to take an arm but if I do it
>>>>> all the time I never learn to use my cane.
>>
>>>>> I want to do what's age-appropriate. I am 22...so do I think of it as
>>>>> "Would a sighted 22-year-old follow this person or would they take an
>>>>> arm?"
>>
>>>>> I am not one of those people who just does what the NFB says all the
>>>>> time...but cane travel and independent travel is very important to me
>>>>> and I want to become as good and efficient with it as possible. While
>>>>> I believe guiding is good in some situations I want to be careful and
>>>>> use it sparingly!
>>
>>>>> Thanks!
>>>>> Kerri
>>
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>>
>>
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