[nabs-l] Question about moving out of your parents house

Fri Dec 16 05:38:53 UTC 2011

Arielle,
Excellent points. Have a back up plan definitely and you said the same thing 
I did about finances.
You got to plan ahead. If you can use excel, make a fake weekly budget and 
see how much it will cost to live. Excel can add up stuff for you.

-----Original Message----- 
From: Arielle Silverman
Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2011 9:11 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Question about moving out of your parents house

Hi Koby,
I understand that you're working on getting started at one of the NFB
training centers, which I think is a great idea. What I'd suggest is
waiting until you know when you will be starting at the center before
you move in with your girlfriend. That's because depending on how long
you have to wait before you go to the center, you may or may not need
to sign a new lease with her, so you'll want to know how much time it
will be.
I also think that instead of just telling your parents that you're
moving out, you should give them a lot of details, like how long you
plan to live with her, where you will be living, how much you will be
paying in rent per month, how you will be able to pay that amount,
etc. That's because your parents will probably be more supportive if
they know that you've thought through all the details and know how to
budget for yourself. You didn't mention why they don't want you to see
her, so it's possible they might not still agree with your decision.
But if you show them that you are mature, plan ahead and know what you
are doing, they're more likely to support it. You should also have a
backup plan for what you will do if you guys decide to break up. Not
that that is going to happen, but it could happen, so if it does you
don't want to be out a bunch of money.
I do think that it's better not to live with a boyfriend or girlfriend
until you have been going out with them for a long time so you can
feel confident that the relationship isn't going to end, and that the
boyfriend or girlfriend will be good about paying rent and such on
time. If you do decide to live with her, you might consider looking
for a place where you and she pay your rent separately, so if she
doesn't pay her half, you aren't stuck paying it.
However, I also know that you are an adult and I can understand why
you would want to live with her. I just think that it would be helpful
to make plans for the next stage of your life first before making a
decision about moving, so you hav a strong plan and don't get stuck
with financial obligations from having to move out sooner than you
expect.
Best,
Arielle

On 12/15/11, Koby Cox <kobycox at gmail.com> wrote:
> Ashley,
> I can do that. I can also afford to pay the rent and we're really close.
> Can you pleas email me off list so that we can talk some more about
> this? My email address is:
> Kobycox at gmail.com
> Thanks,
> Koy.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Ashley Bramlett
> Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2011 6:58 PM
> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Question about moving out of your parents house
>
> Koby,
> Well, there are many factors to consider. Do you know how to take care
> of
> the home you'll have?  Can you cook? Can you afford the place?
> Generally, renting an apartment  with a girl/guy friend is not a good
> idea
> unless you feel pretty close and feel you can really count on them.
> I've just heard too many stories about  the other partner leaving,
> failing
> to pay rent or
> breaking up leaving the other person to pay joint bills on their own.
> Think
> about it. Are you sure she is a long term thing?
>
> If you have thought about it all and feel you can do it, you are an
> adult
> and can do this.
> Tell your parents your decision when they are together at home; maybe
> after
> dinner or a time they do not look too occupied.
>
> I don't think they will approve from what you've said.
>
> Ashley
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Koby Cox
> Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2011 7:07 PM
> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [nabs-l] Question about moving out of your parents house
>
> Hello All,
> I'm totally blind and am 19 years old I currently have a girlfriend
> whose 22 years of age. She's legally blind and has cadaracts. I'll be
> graduating highschool on December 20,2011. I'm thinking about moving in
> with her on that day after I get out of school. However, I'm not sure
> how I should explain this to my parents sense they don't want us seeing
> one another. Any ideas?
> Each one of you right back soon,
> Koby.
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