[nabs-l] nabs-l Digest, Vol 52, Issue 15

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Curt,

It is true, especially for those involved in the Federation, we may tend
to spend a lot of time with other blind folk, and yes, there may be a
line to watch, but we like who we like too.

We should not isolate ourselves from the sighted world, but there is
nothing wrong either with being friends with other blind people or even
marrying them.  As humans, we connect with certain people and we
shouldn't base any of our relationships on disability, or any other
reason.

As blind people, we tend to draw lines at times.  We don't have to count
up our relationships and divvy people up.  Oh, too many blind friends, I
must cut back so I don't come across as only liking "my kind."  *smile*

I am not making judgements either, but I have learned that you have to
live your life and do what you want-- don't base it on what others want,
or by others standards.

I was sighted for 22 years, and before losing my vision, I did not know
any blind people.  I still am friends with those people, but I also have
met people whose company I enjoy and they happen to be blind.

I am one of those who married a blind person, but, like you, I had no
intention of doing this.  When I met him, though, sparks flew.  I
couldn't deny the connection!  LOL

Obviously, at training centers, we are around other blind people because
we are all learning skills and what not, but the point of good training
is to give you the skills and confidence to go home and go into your
community to be an equal, vital member of society.

However, I do have this to say.  Many of my sighted friends grew
uncomfortable with my blindness.  I did not change, I still enjoyed
doing the same things, but some of my friends could not get past the
blindness.  We grew apart because they could not "deal" with my
blindness even though I did not act differently.  Others have
experienced this and we find our blind friends tend to stick closer.
Again, people are people, and sighted or blind, true friends care about
you and remain a part of your life.

The point is that no one-- blind or sighted, should base, or judge,
their relationships on a disability.  Saying you have no intention of
spending time with other blind people is like, to me, the same as
sighted people saying they will not hang out with blind people.

I know your concern is that you do not currently have involvement in
groups or activities that include other blind people, but be careful
that you are not excluding us because you are trying to avoid some
stereotype.

Point-- live life and say F U to anyone who gives you flack for how you
live your life.

Bridgit

Message: 3
Date: Wed, 9 Feb 2011 13:37:37 -0700
From: Kirt Manwaring <kirt.crazydude at gmail.com>
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
	<nabs-l at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Training centers
Message-ID:
	<AANLkTikQa09O5zW9nyWpSsTiZLjRn4papUvGcVN8inWa at mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1

Dear Beth, Tara and all,
  Is it hard to get involved with the community outside the center? Let
me clarify the question, as it maybe doesn't make sense.
  I know a lot of blind people (and please keep in mind I'm not calling
anyone out or judging), who graduated from the training centers and now
spend their lives mostly with other blind people. There's nothing wrong
with that, it's just not for me.  I'm probably not going to marry a
blind person or seriously date a blind person...simply because most of
my friends aren't blind.  So, with that in mind, I'm going to want to
find ways to get involved in the community at large, at whichever center
I decide is right for me. So...do you think I'll be discouraged or
austricized if I choose to spend lots of my free time with church
groups, volunteer programs, other friends I might find outside the
center, etc?  Because I think the worst thing that could happen to me is
to get caught in a "blind bubble" where I learn all the skills I need,
hang out with center people all the time, and miss out on whatever other
opportunities I might find living away from home for such a long time.
Don't get me wrong, I hope to make friends at the center and have a
great time. But I don't want that to be my whole life while I'm out on
my own like this.  Thoughts, anyone?
  Kirt