[nabs-l] Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

[Joe Orozco]

Kirt,

Yours is exactly the kind of feedback I'm hoping we'll all explore.  It's
not the fact that the subject of the article is Chinese parents.  I think my
hope is that we'll investigate the sources that yield results.  I would
never call my future children "garbage" nor would I accuse them of being
"fatty," but I do hope to elevate my standards so that they can ultimately
be better than I am and thereby make a greater contribution to their world.

What I find troubling is that for every one successful blind person,
statistics say there are three who are not.  There are a myriad of reasons
we could cite for why this is the case, but I genuinely believe that a lot
of it begins at home.  On one level, we have the first generation of sighted
parents who do not feel compelled to believe in their blind children, and so
how can the blind children themselves believe they can ever amount to
anything?  Then there is the second generation of blind parents who for
whatever reason are not successful and pass the same dismal expectations on
to their children.

I know there is much to be changed in the educational system.  I also know
there is much to be gained in technology.  However, there is a certain point
where I believe parental guidance is absolutely crucial to inspiring the
best in our children to take full advantage of a reformed educational system
and a fully accessible technology landscape, neither of which is worth
anything if the consumer does not use them to make herself shine.  I
genuinely believe that a critical factor in success is confidence.

At least for me, I would have benefited the most from my parents driving me
a little harder, for the confidence to originate from their corner.  My
parents instead chose to step aside and allow my teachers to direct the
course of my education.  I was fortunate that in high school I had the rare
privilege of an excellent VI teacher who took very little crap from me and
my blindness.  When I claimed I needed to go to the state school for the
blind for math classes, she said she would teach me math herself if that's
what it took, and she did.  I passed the classes because of her.  Not every
student out there is so fortunate.

Now, I am by no means claiming my parents had it all wrong.  My mom made me
do chores and disciplined me the same as my siblings.  I was never
discouraged from pursuing whatever activities I wanted, but I think their
confidence in me was somewhat artificial.  For example, even though they
began sending me away to summer camps and weekend retreats as early as eight
years old, they are still astonished by my ability to navigate the subway
system here in DC as an adult.

How much of it comes down to giving the blind child an extra nudge?  How
much of it is cultural?  In the Hispanic culture, blind people, at least
from my experience, are seen as charity cases or as supremely brilliant.
Damned if I didn't go and disappoint on both counts. LOL  I don't have all
the answers, but I hope people will chime in.  Hopefully we can come up with
some answers and play a role in educating parents on what is absolutely
needed of them to expand the hope for future generations.

Regards,

Joe

"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,
some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing