[nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others
Chris Nusbaum
dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com
Thu Jun 2 19:57:24 UTC 2011
I completely agree, Mike! Great post!
Chris
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--- Sent from my BrailleNote
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mike Freeman" <k7uij at panix.com
To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Sat, 28 May 2011 15:06:28 -0700
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others
Kirt:
I agree with you almost entirely. Now that I've heard your
parents' story,
perhaps I understand a bit more why you seem bound and determined
to find
fault withus (the NFB). All I can say is that the Federation, as
all other
organizations on Mother Earth, are made of human beings (I'm not
counting
crows or ants or monkeys or chimps here). As such, we're not
perfect. I know
several very fine Federationists whom I would steer new members
away from
(no names, please) until these new members had a bit of
leavening in our
philosophy and ways so as to understand where the Federationists
I'm
speaking of are coming from. So what? That's life in the fast
lane.
I know of persons in my state who were Federationists thirty-odd
years ago
and who, because of one or two incidents back then, are
suspicious of
everything the Federation does now. It's almost as if everyone
expects the
Federation to be perfect and immutable and when it is not,
blames it for
misfortunes that befall them, maintaining that it is the NFB
philosophy of
blindness that is to blame rather than all-too-fallible members
of homo
sapiens sapiens from whom NFB and every other organization draw
their
memberships. Is it any wonder that we who have been elected to
the NFB
leadership express some frustration? It often seems to me, at
least, that we
are confronted with "heads I win; tails you lose" Such
double-binds are
double-plus unfair. "Don't you *dare* try to convince me of the
rightness of
your philosophy or I'll call you militant, radical, uncaring,
boorish,
unethical, dastardly, thoughtless, unloving and any other
pejorative
adjectives I can think of!". I'm sorry but that ain't fair.
To be sure, I don't try to convince died-in-the-wool ACB members
that they
are wrong; they have a right to believe as they wish and to
express
themselves and to organize to bring pressure on the Powers that
Be to get
their ideas implemented. But I don't have to take it lying down
if I think
the issue of sufficient importance.
I once read a letter from Dr. Maurer to a now-committed
Federationist who
wrote to him expressing great doubt about the efficacy of NFB
philosophy and
asked for reading material. Obviously, dr. maurer sent it along
with a
letter, part of which said something that might surprise you. He
said: "I'd
rather have you join ACB than join nothing. In this country, we
make our
voices heard through collective action and by joining either ACB
or NFB, you
have a chance to make your voice count.". I agree with this
completely.
Does this mean that a non-joiner can't have influence? Certainly
not.
However, given the political structure in this country, many
voices have
more influence than one voice.
Do I think everyone should join an organization of the blind? I
think we
could get a lot done were this so. But it isn't going to happen
and to force
the issue would be to negate the very freedoms and dignity that
we're
fighting for. However, those who do not join and who then
complain I
consider morally bankrupt. In effect, I consider the phrase
"silent
majority" to be an oxymoron. By definition, the only people who
count
politically are those who speak up. How else is one to know what
the "silent
majority" really wants? Both sides in any debate claim that they
speak for
it. It is in this sense that we of NFB say we speak for the
blind. ACB says
it also. And we're both right.
But bback to the initial intent of this thread. I don't know
where all of
you get the idea that we of NFB are continually attacking the
ACB. Frankly,
I don't even think about ACB most of the time (a state of affairs
which
galls them immensely). ACB can do its thing and as long as it
doesn't
adversely impact NFB's goals, it's OK with me. If its actions
*do* impact
them, I'll fight them. For the most part, however, we just go
our separate
ways.
But to say that we of NFB shouldn't say what we think (assuming
that we're
not being petty or cruel) is applying a double-standard of
behavior sinceACB
often compares itself favorably to us and no one says a thing.
Finally, let's cut to the chase here. And here I *will* use
names. Humberto
Avila asked a question about dating blind versus sighted people.
A lively
thread ensued in which Joshua Lester was honest enough to reveal
his
frustrations and insecurities. Should we have simply said "yeah;
ain't it
awful!" and gone on our way?or should we have challenged his
beliefs just a
bit (as we did), causing him to defend his views and, in the
process, think
them through at least a bit? We debate damned near everything
else on this
list. Why should this thread be exempt? I don't think any of us
were
denigrating Joshua. In fact, I venture to say that we were
trying to be
encouraging. In effect, we were saying "think out of the box!".
Obviously,
being challenged with new ideas can be a bit uncomfortable. But
Joshua did
not appear to me to take offense. If he did, we owe him an
apology. But was
it better to try to expand his horizons (something his messages
practically
begged us to do) or just ignore them. IMO it could go either
way.
Mike
-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
[mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Kirt Manwaring
Sent: Saturday, May 28, 2011 1:10 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others
Mike,
That makes a lot of sense...I find myself agreeing with you.
Mostly.
The only thing I'd say is there's a difference between
constructive
preaching and destructive preaching. It's good, even necessary,
to spread
our philosophy. Just like my church sends out missionaries by
the thousands
to spread what we believe is the gospel, millions of Christians
around the
world get involved with outreach ministries and procelyting, and
so forth.
As you say, that's human nature and when people try and build up
their own
philosophy by spreading the message to others, I say it's a
beautiful thing.
The problem is destructive preaching. So when a Mormon
missionary
deliberately attacks another church, when a Christian minister
decides to
burn the Qu'ran instead of talking about Christ, or when a
Federationist
goes out of his way to smear the Council instead of strengthening
the
Federation. I get that there are times the Federaion and Council
are in
conflict because it's what our respective philosophies demand.
(even if the
ACB doesn't have a national philosophy, strictly speaking) But
in that
conflict, when it happens, it critical that we stand by our own
message
rather than going out of our way to destroy theirs. America's a
free market
of ideas-strengthening our own position will serve us better than
weakening
anyone else's. Of course, you know how that all translates in to
the
political realm and I suspect it doesn't always translate well.
But I think, especially on a personal level, we live our
philosophy and we
share it. That doesn't mean we make an effort to call them out
or make them
feel like their beliefs are wrong. If their beliefs are wrong,
better for
them to realize it in time if they're the kind of person that
will...if they
aren't, why not let it rest and try to get along? t the veeat,
say godbye
and avoid an unpleasant confrontation if you know the other
person won't
bend. I recognize that philosophy doesn't always work when
dealing with
other organizations but, when dealing with individuals, I don't
see why it
can't. Isn't it better to live a life as a respectable blind
person, answer
questions as they're presented, maybe talk a little about the
Federation if
it comes up and let them decide what they want? If they accept
it, great!
If not, that's ok too. I know plenty of respectable blind people
outside
the Federation-our way isn't the only ay for people to become
independent
and empowered. Maybe another way is honestly better for someone
else. And,
if they don't want that independence and empowerment after it's
been offered
kindly and respectfully, isn't it better just to drop the subject
and try to
be friends? Who knows,maybe they'd come around eventually. An
angry debate
certainly wouldn't help that happen.
In closing, I'd like to share an experience that kept me out of
the NFB
for a long time, even though it didn't happen to me. My parents
found out I
was blind a w months after I was born. Naturally those first few
years were
really difficult for them, I can't imagine what that's like for a
parent.
Anyways my mom decided she wanted to be an O&M instructor, so she
went to
school in Arizona. While there, she was introduced to the
Federation and
went to a meeting. The way she told me the story, a blind woman
approached
her and said "I'm going to tell you something important. Your
son is blind.
You are not. So you'll never be able to understand him as much
as we can."
Had that first introduction to the Federation been more
respectful, I
suspect I'd be a lifetime member. As it stands now, my parents
are still a
little on guard around the Federation (although they certainly
support my
involvement), and they themselves are not Federationists. I
often wonder
how much more involved they would be had that first introduction
gone just a
little bit differently.
Warmly,
Kirt
On 5/28/11, Mike Freeman <k7uij at panix.com> wrote:
Kirt:
I agree that, ideally at least, we should live and let live. In
fact,
as a practical matter, that is what is done here in the state of
Washington: the NFB of Washington and the Washington Council of
the
Blind work together when we can -- often rather closely -- but
we
agree to disagree on some matters and as long as no one stirs
the pot,
we tend to stay out of each other's way on matters on which we
disagree, if only because neither organization has sufficient
political
clout to prevail easily when we work at cross-purposes.
But you can bet your life that if WCB actively pushed something
that
was totally against NFB policy, we of NFB would try to defeat
WCB's
effort. In like fashion, I am certain that WCB would do the
same viz.
our efforts if they directly contradicted some ACB policy that
WCB
members held dear. That isn't really a problem in that Mitch
Pomerantz, President of ACB, himself said that ACB stands for no
organized philosophy and ACB doesn't enforce unified policy
directives
on its affiliates. In other words, the problem hasn't arisen
here --
at least not in the past twenty-five years. And the threats to
blindness agencies in this state have been of sufficient
magnitude
that we (NFBW and WCB) were on the same side, even if we love
some the
agencies a bit less than do members of WCB; there was no
alternative.
Having said this, I don't believe that the lack of effectiveness
in
the black civil rights movement of the late 1960's was due to
fragmented voices within that movement. Rather, I think it was
due in
some measure to martin Luther King Jr.'s scattering his shots --
coming out against the Vietnam War and for anti-poverty
initiatives,
for example, instead of keeping his "eye on the prize" as the
PBS
history of the civil rights movement is called. I think there
was room
enough for many voices in the civil rights movement although I
confess
that many WASPs such as I were turned off big-time by Stoakley
Carmichael, H. Rap Brown, bobby Seal, Eldrige Cleaver and other
persons of
like mind.
I think the comparison by some of our detractors of NFB to a
religion
is much overblown. However, I think the comparison is valid to
this
extent: if one truly applied your "live and let live" and
"preach by
example"
philosophy -- quite admirable in the abstract -- to religion,
there
would be no missionaries, no jihad, no outreach ministries, and
the
like. Put another way, it's human nature to try to reach out to
convince those with whom we disagree or those whom we would
convert.
"gospel" means "good news", after all.
Does this mean that we should look down upon blind people who do
not
have the skills of blindness? Of course not. They, like we, are
"Within the Grace of God" as tenBroek's speech is entitled.
Does this
mean that there are not alternative ways to look at the problems
of
blindness? Again, of course not.
But let us remember that we of NFB are out to do nothing less
than to
change society -- to obliterate the stereotype of the "helpless
blind
person" and the discriminatory treatment, blighted hopes and
missed
opportunities that flow from this misbegotten stereotype. And
in the
United States, change is effected by banding together in
associations
of like mind to advocate for those policies we believe in. This
is not
an undertaking of passivity. For better or worse, advocacy
involves,
to some extent at least, preaching. Of course this does not
mean that
we should be intolerant or maintain that there are no other
viewpoints. But it *also* doesn't mean that we refrain from
passionately advocating for what we believe in. that's the way
things get
done in this country.
How this all plays out at a personal level isn't always easy to
fathom. As I've said before, no one ever said being a
Federationist
was easy. But I submit that *not* saying anything -- even if
only
words of encouragement -- when we find injustice, erroneous
stereotypes and persons selling themselves short -- is contrary
to what we
have pledged ourselves to accomplish.
WE should never be obnoxious or boorish. But saying nothing is
itself
making a statement.
What this all amounts to is espousal of the Serenity Prayer: "O
god:
give me the strength to change the things I can, the patience to
accept the things I cannot and the wisdom to discern the
difference.".
Mike
-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
[mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Kirt Manwaring
Sent: Saturday, May 28, 2011 10:36 AM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in
others
Mike,
In the African-american struggle for huma rights, there
were/are
lots of different philosophies and approaches taken by a lot of
different people-you probably know more about that than me
having
lived through a lot of the craziness. Do you think more
could've
happened faster if...say, Martin Luther King and Malcolm X spent
less
time bickering and more time cooperating or, at the very least,
ignoring each other? I'm not denying that both of them did a
lot to
better the condition of black people...but imagine what could've
happened if the two of them didn't take so long to reconcile-or,
if
nothing else, if they didn't spend time attacking each others'
philosophies and devoted that energy to their respective
movements?
Could that comparison be aplicable to us? Am I remiss when I
say
that we in NFB sometimes spend too much time attacking the
philosophies of other blind people rather than advancing our own
philosophy? Am I remiss in saying that many in the ACB spend
more
time trying to tear down the Federation instead of building up
the
Council? Why can't we, if nothing else, leave each other alone
and
spend all our time working on our own goals?
Maybe we could take that comparison further, to incolude
individual
blind people who disagree with us. Ideally we should try to
engage in
constructive dialogue and find some sort of common ground with
people
who disagree and, for example, have next to no travel or daily
living
skills.
After all, we hope they'll "see the light", so to speak, and
become
empowered with good training. But let's say they don't accept
our
philosophy...whether they're compitent blind people or not,
let's say
they want nothing to do with the Federation. I say first we try
and
learn whatever we can from them, no matter their skills and
atitude
(or lack thereof). Once we've learned something from them, even
if
it's as simple as "I need to have better cane skills" or "this
guy has
terrible hygiene-at least I know now why it's so important to
take
showers!", then I think we try and let them learn from us. That
can
either be by talking or by them looking at our example...if
they
chose to not accept our world view, there's no reason to get
angry and
defensive. There is still probably common ground somewhere and,
even
in the highly unlikely event you can't find any (which is
probably due
to you not looking hard enough), just ignore the person and move
on.
If we can't be friends, there's no reason to be enemies...live
and let
live, and all that jazz.
Warmly,
Kirt
On 5/28/11, Mike Freeman <k7uij at panix.com> wrote:
I know of no site that has everything gathered in one place.
However,
you could do worse than to read Dr. Floyd Matson's book,
"Walking
Alone and marching together" (available on the NFB website and
via
the NLS Web-braille
site) and, if you'd wish to see the alternative point-of-view,
James
McGivern's "People of Vision: a History of the american Council
of
the Blind", also available from the NLS Web-braille and BARD
sites.
It might also behoove us all to reread or re-listen-to the NFB
convention banquet speechdes of Drs. tenBroke, Jernigan and
Maurer.
I know that's a lot of reading but no one ever said
Federationism was
easy!
(huge grin)
Mike
-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
[mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Josh Gregory
Sent: Saturday, May 28, 2011 10:07 AM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in
others
Is there a site with... the history of blind people and what
they
went through? I'm curious now, this is a good thread.
Josh
sent from my Apex
Email: joshkart12 at gmail.com
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mike Freeman" <k7uij at panix.com
To: "'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'"
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Sat, 28 May 2011 09:52:47 -0700
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in
others
Although I was never subject to one, I can still remember when,
at
late as the 1960's, welfare workers conducted "night raids" with
the
help of the police wherein said workers would visit blind
clients and
go through their homes to make sure that nothing had been bought
that
would indicate that the clients had unreported income. This
extended
even to such items as a new dress.
I echo Briley's sentiments that many today have no concept of
what
went down in the past.
Mike
-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
[mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Briley Pollard
Sent: Saturday, May 28, 2011 7:28 AM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in
others
I think it is not always an appropriate comparison to say our
struggle for civil rights isn't completely parallel with the
black
American experience, but we have struggled for civil rights. Go
read
some history on how blind people have been treated by families
and
institutions over the years. Blind children were targets for
sexual
assault in extremely high numbers because they were considered
to be
vulnerable. They were placed in horrific living conditions
throughout history in institutions because families believed
that
blindness was equal to ineffectiveness, and that they'd never be
able
to succeed or help out their relatives. As a people group, we
have
suffered many indignities that I don't think the current
generation
of blind people even come close to realizing.
Best,
Briley
On May 28, 2011, at 1:23 AM, Darian Smith wrote:
Mike:
African-Americans/blacks (however one choosses to term
themselves)would not have been too keen on the idea based upon
how
they were treated by whites up to that time.
It is curious that how african-americans were treated is
always
one of the first ways we as blind people choose to make our
comparisons in our struggle for first-class citizanship. I
wonder,
were blind people beatin and hosed down when they peacefully
protest
the unjust ways they were treated? Were they lybnched? Can we
safely make those comparisons? unless I am missing something
(I
could be, and it wouldn't be the first or last time I have), we
have
some similarities with regards to civil rights, but largely our
histories were quite different and the scars, deaths,risks were
felt
on largely different levels.
Just some thoughts on the matter,and I very much appreciate
the
question.
Respectfully,
Darian
On 5/26/11, Mike Freeman <k7uij at panix.com> wrote:
Darian:
What do you think African-americans would have said during the
1950's and 1960's had one of their number said he/she would
rather
date a Caucasian person because of the concern for two black
persons
dating?
Mike
-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
[mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Darian Smith
Sent: Thursday, May 26, 2011 5:49 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in
others
Jedi,
Sure-let me see...
We as federationests have certain ways that we like to deal
with
situations, ways that we see life or phrase things in life. For
example We like to use the term "blind" as opposed to
"visually
impaired" or any variant there of. We also like if a person
uses
products with Braille on them (braille watches, braille
compass,
braille books and the like, but somehow we tend to make people
who
don't utilize these things seem lesser for not.
I have a friend who would much rather date a sighted
gentleman
than a blind gentleman because she is concerned about the idea
of two
blind people dating.
Personally I may feel a certain way about these things, but I
would like to think that it's huge to consider where each
person is in
their life and accept them into the fold as they are. I am
fine
with educatinn, so long as we arn't critical and that we are
accepting, because seems to me that weas people hate to be told
that
we are "wrong"
for thinking like we do.
Does that make sense?
Respecgfully,
Darian
On 5/26/11, Darian Smith <dsmithnfb at gmail.com> wrote:
Very good points.
We as blind people are a minority, and I think it's good to
remember that there are other minorities out there. How does
one
member of a minority group address another member of that same
group
if they don't feel that this person is acting like they should
in
public? Don't feel like this person is projecting a positive
image
of the rest of that group to society?
I believe that we all face that problem and how we deal with
it
varies, but I would hope that we know enough to not take it
upon
ourselves to change the worlds opinions. I think we can model
that
positive image that is with in our grasp to become, that
probably is
the healthiest way to approach this idea of
perception-changing
that we think about alot, Does that make sense?
thoughts?
On 5/26/11, Jedi <loneblindjedi at samobile.net> wrote:
Excellent points.
I'm going to add to that some.
I've noticed that we also tend to judge a person's actions when
they attempt to handle a vexing situation like overhelpfulness
or
discrimination. I've been doing some research on the effects of
such judgment and have concluded that it creates an invisible
audience for the blind person in question. This audience is
made of
both the blind and the sighted community and creates thoughts
like
"What will my blind friends and colleagues think of me if I
react
this or that way?
What will the sighted person I'm talking to think? What will
sighted bystanders think?" What this does is create a win/lose
situation where the stakes are high. Aside from causing stress
that
limits problem-solving ability, this high stakes situation also
creates a greater likelihood of negative response to perceived
threats to the blind person's self-concept and sense of efficacy
in the
interaction.
So for example, an overly helpful person might cause a blind
person
to feel ineffective as it is. But the invisible audience
concept
boosts that feeling considerably because of the stress involved
with
feeling like they have to show themselves as both effective and
graceful in handling both the offers of help and the person
who's
offering it. Is any of this making sense? So the bottom line
is
that by trying to be the perfect ambassador for the blind, we
may be
shooting ourselves in the foot by creating such a high stakes
situation in our mind that the stress lowers our ability to
present
the cool, calm, and effective image we want to offer to the
public.
On that note, I've noticed that our community seems to have it
in
our heads that we're responsible for how the sighted feel about
us.
The truth is that there are limits to that responsibility.
Sure, we
want to set a good impression in all areas, but so does
everyone
else. The sad truth is that we are judged based on the actions
of
one person.
But the thing is, there's nothing that we can really do about
that
except to expose a given sighted person to the diversity of our
population. Even if we set the perfect impression, it's likely
that
the sighted person will still stereotype by saying that we're
all
amazing or that the one individual in question is the exception
to a
rule. It seems to me that the only people who really get that
we're
as diverse as they are are those who know how to deconstruct
society's grand narrative or are those who have seen enough
diversity in our population to realize that they can't judge all
of
us based on one person.
Respectfully,
Jedi
Original message:
That makes perfect sense, but we should not fall into the trap
of
taking responsibility for others' actions. When we do that, we
lose
sight of our own goals and direction in life. Unless you're a
therapist, or a rehab teacher working with people like that, it
is
not your job to fix them. Even as a therapist or teacher, your
place is to be a mentor and an instructor. As I previously
said, if
that person, after being shown compassion and alternative ways
of
thinking, doing and living chooses to fall back into old
patterns as
soon as the instructor's back is turned, that shows a lack of
respect for everyone around them, including themselves.
So
if a person wants to wallow in misery and self-pity, let them!
That person will either fall hard when they find out their
parents/family members/significant other or what have you can't
take
care of them forever, and then they'll realize what needs to
happen
in due time, or they will get sick of the status quo and want
to
change it. And if people hold it against a decent blind person
because they've met a person like that in the past, it's not
worth
it to try and make them feel any differently. They will either
come
around in time or they won't. Choice is the key word here.
Everyone is free to think as they choose so long as it's not
hurting anyone. So, while it might temporarily sting a bit to
lose
out on a potential friendship due to someone's ignorance, as
soon as
you meet someone who's worth your time, you forget about that
other
person real quick
On 5/26/11, Daniel Romero <djdan567 at gmail.com> wrote:
I think the reason why this might go down is because of the
view
that we get from the public in general. Most people who are
sighted
are not used to a blind person. You have to understand that
one
blind person being seen is a huge thing. They're now reliable
for
what a person thinks about blind people. They are the ones
setting
an example. So if you have a blind person who smells bad,
rocks,
pokes their eyes or just do not have the proper skills, the
outside
person will make an assumtion and say that all blind people are
like
that. i'm not saying it's right for blind people to call out
other
blind people with a skills set that is lower then theirs,
they're
just calling them out because they are representing blind
people.
It puts a bad label on us blind people who do take care of
ourselves, have the skills to be independent and succeed. like
i
said, i'm not saying it's right but I don't think us who do
have the
skills want to have a negative conotation. Not all blind
people
poke their eyes, rock, hop, twitch,bump into everything, smell
bad,
do not clean their own clothes, or anything like that. So to be
part
of a group that's going to display such a view that is negative
to
the public, we fall right behind that. Am I making sense?
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