[nabs-l] Learning Daily Living Skills

[Kirt Manwaring]

Homberto,
  First off, there's no need to feel ashamed or guilty.  You obviously
want to learn, focus on that.  We've all been there...or, at least, a
lot of us have.  And even though you can't go to a center, that
doesn't mean you can't learn the skills you want and need to learn.
  So, how do you go about learning daily living skills if you can't go
to a center?  The good thing about lots of the skills you want to
learn is there are lots of good ways to do them-there's no "only right
way" to get to the store, sweep/vacuum, do dishes, etc.  There are
different alternative techniques lots of different blind and sighted
people use, so don't be afraid to ask questions of as many people as
you can.  If you know a successful blind person, maybe ask them if
they can spend an hour or two teaching you some stuff, every little
bit helps.  Don't be embarrassed to ask questions that might make you
look stupid.  I didn't know how to shave appropriately so I looked
nice until I asked some people, both blind and sighted, how it was
supposed to be done.  Some of those questions can be awkward, but if
you need to know how to do stuff sometimes asking's the only way to
find out.
  And another thing.  Try and find a way to do things that's easy for
you.  If your mom teaches you how to vacuum and a blind friend teaches
you how to vacuum, it's perfectly ok to take ideas from both of them
and make a way that works for you.  I figured out that I can kneel
down on the floor and feel where my vacuum's about to go when I'm
cleaning, just to make sure I'm not about to vacuum up something I
shouldn't.  It maybe looks silly...but hey, it works!  And I figured
it out on my own.  So it's ok to get creative and find a way that
works for you, as long as it really gets the job done.  Have as many
people teach you as you can, practice what they show you, and then if
you find a method that works for you, combining the things you learn
from different people, go for it!  Experiment, experiment some more,
and keep experimenting.  Make sure you have someone honest to tell you
if what you're doing is good enough-if it's not, keep trying and
you'll get it!
  One other thing.  Don't you dare compare yourself to other blind
people and say "hey!  he's blind and he's doing a lot better than me!
What's my problem?"  Odds are that blind person's put a lot of work
into figuring out which alternative techniques work for him/her.  It
takes effort but, I promise you, it can be done.  Don't be discouraged
because you aren't there yet.
  One final thought.  Sometimes, the real world is the best teacher.
I probably learned more about living on my own after I moved to my
dorm than I did from all my daily living instructors combined.  When
you're in a situation where you have to figure things out, lots of
times it motivates you to actually find a way to cook that meal or
wash those clothes.  That's not to say you shouldn't get the basic
daily living skills you need before you move out.  But, if you're
willing to work like hell, you can learn a lot in the real world too.
  Hope that helps,
Kirt

On 6/20/11, Humberto Avila <avila.bert.humberto2 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hello fellow listers:
>
> As you know I've been really wanting to learn Daily Living and life skills.
> I am starting college in the fall and therefore I don't want to be living at
> home forever -- most college students my age are living in their dorms
> (including blind students). although my community college is not located far
> from home, learning daily living skills would be a plus for me and if I
> actually want to get a place of my own in the future I must be able to have
> life and daily living skills.
>
> the only glitch I'm facing, however, is my parents, especially my Mom. I
> have talked to them into teaching me how to do daily living tasks, yet when
> they are actually trying to teach me it gets sort of confusing and I can't
> really understand what they are teaching, and I don't really know whether
> the alternatives they teach me are the safest or most accessible. Like for
> example, one day my Dad and I were going to our nearby grocery store called
> "Fiesta foods" walking. I was using my cane and as we were walking my dad
> walked me through a bunch of gravel and rocks. was there a sidewalk I
> could've used? I don't know, but he said "this is the fastest way".
>
> but anyways, just like my teacher of the blind pointed out in my IEP
> post-secondary plan worksheet when I graduated, MY PARENTS STILL DO A
> TREMENDOUS AMOUNT FOR ME AND IF I'M TAUGHT THE SKILL I CAN SUCCEED.
>
> and... here I am, a 20-year-old who doesn't even know how to fold his
> clothes properly or wash them, go to the store and manage money and shopping
> by himself, and not knowing how to perform basic cooking tasks.
>
> I know how to wash dishes (I haven't learn to use a dishwasher), and I know
> how to vacuum, mop and clean the table (still * requiring lots of sighted
> assistance *)
>
> Unfortunately I can not afford going to an NFB training center or an
> orientation and training center at my home state [feel free to email me off
> list if you want to know exactly why].
> if I want to live productively and form a new family as well as get my own
> place, how would I go about explaining my parents (or even friends) to
> really teach me the skills I want to learn? Do I have to adapt to how they
> teach me? Are there any teacher of the blind that, for an affordable cost,
> can come to my house and teach me such skills. I really want your opinions.
> I don't want to end up getting my AA degree and after that move away and I
> have to ask people "Can you please do this for me?" plus, that would be
> embarrassing.
>
> thanks,
> Humberto
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