[nabs-l] Learning Daily Living Skills

Fri Jun 24 02:07:49 UTC 2011

Hi Humberto,
I agree with all the responses thus far. I would also add that there
are plenty of sighted people who don't know how to cook or clean until
they leave home and start living on their own. So it's not just a
blindness thing; it's an experience thing too.
I would definitely suggest trying to work with a blind adult you know
from your area if you can to get some basic advice. But, as others
have said, a lot of the learning will come with experience and
practice, and can't necessarily even be taught. For example, doing
laundry is mostly just a matter of putting your dirty clothes and
detergent in the washer, pressing a button, moving the clothes to the
dryer, pressing another button, and then putting the clothes away. If
you decide to live in a dorm, you can just ask someone in the dorm to
show you which buttons you need to press on the machines, and you
should be able to figure out the basic process after just one or two
tries, even if your clothes might not be folded or hung up perfectly.
(Heck, I've been doing my own laundry since I was 18, but if I put the
clothes away late at night, they're not always the neatest).
Similarly, going grocery shopping is really just a matter of getting
to the store and asking someone who works in the store to help you
find the things you need.
I think fear and perfectionism sometimes prevent us from trying these
kinds of things on our own. Teachers of the blind sometimes imply that
we need to be carefully taught a life skill and must practice it many
times before we are competent to use that skill independently. But
that's not how sighted people learn and it's not useful to worry so
much about doing things exactly right. As others have pointed out, we
learn at times by making mistakes.
Finally, even though you say you aren't able to get support from voc
rehab to go to a center, you may want to try calling one of our NFB
centers' directors and explaining your situation to them. Sometimes,
training centers are able to work out financial arrangements for
people in these kinds of situations.
Please feel free to ask me or anyone else on the list if you have
questions about how to live on your own, or how to do specific things
as a blind person. Any question is a good one and many of us have been
in your situation at one time. We're here to help.
Best,
Arielle

On 6/22/11, T. Joseph Carter <carter.tjoseph at gmail.com> wrote:
> I’ve got to agree.  Sometimes there’s no alternative to just going
> off and doing it yourself to see what you can do on your own.  What’s
> the worst that could happen?
>
> Okay, yes, a four alarm fire, fine.  Maybe you should avoid trying to
> bake a pizza or light up a charcoal grill until you have a few other
> things under your belt.
>
> (HEY!  I hear you snickering over there!)
>
> Joseph
>
>
> On Mon, Jun 20, 2011 at 07:21:34PM -0400, Lea williams wrote:
>>Oh I had the hardest time once I lived on my own. I knew how to do my
>>on laundry and some cooking but the going to the store and doing it
>>without trembling in my shoes was the hardest. But I agree with the
>>others. I went to the school for the blind and lived there for five
>>years and I have learned more in these last three years of living on
>>my own than all my life put together. If you have any problems or just
>>want advice, fill free to contact me or just post on this list. I am
>>great at explaining and giving advice. I do it all the time with my
>>friends and enjoy it so much.
>>
>>On 6/20/11, Ignasi Cambra <ignasicambra at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> There are many things that can be taught to you, and talking to your
>>> parents
>>> just like you have been doing up until now is probably a good idea. I'm
>>> sure
>>> that, after all, they don't want you to be unable to do anything by
>>> yourself
>>> either. They probably just don't know how to help with certain things.
>>> When
>>> going to the grocery store you can always tell your dad that you are
>>> looking
>>> for a safe way to make it there, walking on sidewalks etc. Sighted people
>>> sometimes take shortcuts which might not be safe for you at this point.
>>> You
>>> will probably be able to do those things after you become more
>>> experienced,
>>> but for now you should probably just ask your dad for a better option
>>> that's
>>> more suitable for you and your cane.
>>> Also, don't be scared of trying things out. If you don't know how to fold
>>> clothes, just take one of your own folded shirts and slowly unfold it so
>>> that you can understand how your mom folded it. The same concept can be
>>> applied to many things. You know that in order to cook pasta you need to
>>> put
>>> it in boiling, salted water, right? Then you can just try doing it. I'm
>>> sure
>>> that the first time your pasta will be overcooked or maybe undercooked,
>>> or
>>> who knows what else can go wrong? But as long as you use your common
>>> sense
>>> so that you don't get burned or anything like that, you can learn lots of
>>> things by yourself. After you have made terrible pasta two or three
>>> times,
>>> you will see how it starts tasting better!
>>> Again I'm not trying to discourage you from asking your parents to teach
>>> you
>>> things or to go to a training center if you are ever able to do it. I'm
>>> just
>>> saying that with a little bit of imagination you can figure out lots of
>>> things by yourself. Also many of us on this list are used to living by
>>> ourselves and can try to give you suggestions etc.
>>>
>>> IC
>>> On Jun 20, 2011, at 4:18 PM, Humberto Avila wrote:
>>>
>>>> Hello fellow listers:
>>>>
>>>> As you know I've been really wanting to learn Daily Living and life
>>>> skills.
>>>> I am starting college in the fall and therefore I don't want to be
>>>> living
>>>> at
>>>> home forever -- most college students my age are living in their dorms
>>>> (including blind students). although my community college is not located
>>>> far
>>>> from home, learning daily living skills would be a plus for me and if I
>>>> actually want to get a place of my own in the future I must be able to
>>>> have
>>>> life and daily living skills.
>>>>
>>>> the only glitch I'm facing, however, is my parents, especially my Mom. I
>>>> have talked to them into teaching me how to do daily living tasks, yet
>>>> when
>>>> they are actually trying to teach me it gets sort of confusing and I
>>>> can't
>>>> really understand what they are teaching, and I don't really know
>>>> whether
>>>> the alternatives they teach me are the safest or most accessible. Like
>>>> for
>>>> example, one day my Dad and I were going to our nearby grocery store
>>>> called
>>>> "Fiesta foods" walking. I was using my cane and as we were walking my
>>>> dad
>>>> walked me through a bunch of gravel and rocks. was there a sidewalk I
>>>> could've used? I don't know, but he said "this is the fastest way".
>>>>
>>>> but anyways, just like my teacher of the blind pointed out in my IEP
>>>> post-secondary plan worksheet when I graduated, MY PARENTS STILL DO A
>>>> TREMENDOUS AMOUNT FOR ME AND IF I'M TAUGHT THE SKILL I CAN SUCCEED.
>>>>
>>>> and... here I am, a 20-year-old who doesn't even know how to fold his
>>>> clothes properly or wash them, go to the store and manage money and
>>>> shopping
>>>> by himself, and not knowing how to perform basic cooking tasks.
>>>>
>>>> I know how to wash dishes (I haven't learn to use a dishwasher), and I
>>>> know
>>>> how to vacuum, mop and clean the table (still * requiring lots of
>>>> sighted
>>>> assistance *)
>>>>
>>>> Unfortunately I can not afford going to an NFB training center or an
>>>> orientation and training center at my home state [feel free to email me
>>>> off
>>>> list if you want to know exactly why].
>>>> if I want to live productively and form a new family as well as get my
>>>> own
>>>> place, how would I go about explaining my parents (or even friends) to
>>>> really teach me the skills I want to learn? Do I have to adapt to how
>>>> they
>>>> teach me? Are there any teacher of the blind that, for an affordable
>>>> cost,
>>>> can come to my house and teach me such skills. I really want your
>>>> opinions.
>>>> I don't want to end up getting my AA degree and after that move away and
>>>> I
>>>> have to ask people "Can you please do this for me?" plus, that would be
>>>> embarrassing.
>>>>
>>>> thanks,
>>>> Humberto
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>>>
>>>
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>>
>>
>>--
>>Lea Williams
>>
>>Phone;
>>704-732-4470
>>Skipe;
>>Lea.williams738
>>Facebook
>>http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100001775297080
>>
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-- 
Arielle Silverman
President, National Association of Blind Students
Phone:  602-502-2255
Email:
nabs.president at gmail.com
Website:
www.nabslink.org