[nabs-l] Making Friends/Socializing With Sighted People

[Anjelina]

Katie,
you make a lot of valid points. I spoke to a sighted friend about how she 
would react, and she said this is common among sighted groups; this isn't 
exclusive to blindness. She'll see a friend/acquaintance, stop and say hi 
then move onto what she was originally doing. Not inviting the person isn't 
in anyway a sign of exclusion or disrespect.
She recommended inviting the person to call or text when wanting to do 
something another time.
I asked how she'd feel if someone invited themselves into a group and she 
said it'd be a bit awkward depending on the friendship. She'd feel obligated 
to say yes, which in some circles might make the social experience forced.
There isn't an across  the board answer for all social situations. As Jedi 
said, it comes down to your judgment.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Katie Wang
Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2011 12:53 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Making Friends/Socializing With Sighted People

Hi, Kerri and all,
  This is an interesting discussion, and I think everyone has made
some great points. I would just like to add that blindness can become
a much smaller social barrier when you have some common interests with
the people you are interacting with. I know that it is much harder to
find such people when you are no longer in school, but perhaps you
could find some kind of church/community group to join (choir, book
clubs, community service organizations, etc.). Also, take the
initiative to socialize at work-- If there is someone you get along
well with and seem to have a lot in common, why not suggest getting
coffee or hang out outside of work? Perhaps you could even invite her
to go to the bar/restaurant you frequent.
  Finally, I want to echo what Kirt (and a few others) to say that
blindness may not be the only factor involved here. I have sat alone
on occasion in college dining halls simply because my close friends
weren't around and others would rather stick with their own groups,
but I know that many sighted people have had similar experiences. I
also know many sighted people who have difficulty making new friends
after college, because it is harder to meet people who are in the
similar age range and interested in similar things. It is true that
many people may be hesitant to interact with us because we are blind,
and sometimes our blindness does make it harder to reach out in a
crowded setting (we may not be able to hear who is around so would
have to wait until others to greet us), but it is definitely not the
only determinant of our social experiences. Hope this helps and good
luck!
   Katie


On 3/27/11, Michelle Clark <mcikeyc at aol.com> wrote:
>  Hello,
>
> I agree. Many times, sighted persons just do not have a clue as to what to
> do or how to act. I personally feel that often I as the blind person must
> take the first move to make people be comfortable.
>
> In the Bible, there is a scripture that states "To have friends, one must
> first show themselves friendly". I take that attitude and often am
> successful.
>
> On last week, I left a job in which I held for four months to move on to
> another offer that better suited my needs. On the last few days in which I
> was there, there were emails, hugs, and visits from others who just wanted
> to wish me good luck. Some even took my email, Face book info, and 
> telephone
> number. I left there with tears in my eyes because I did not know how many
> friends I had made in that short amount of time.
>
> In all, I just made myself friendly and walked around, into person's 
> offices
> to speak, initially I was just lost, and made sure I spoke most times when 
> I
> heard something while in the halls; Even if I had to speak first.
>
> The greatest thing I did to bridge the understanding gap was to make a 
> dish
> for an International Lunch the department had. I had to write a short 
> story
> about myself. I took the pan home empty.
>
> It worked for me! I know it can work for you.
>
> Michelle
>
>
>
>
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Anjelina