[nabs-l] Security in ourselves, acceptance in others

Fri May 27 00:34:26 UTC 2011

Very good points.
  We as blind people are a minority, and I think it's  good to
remember that  there are other minorities out there.  How does one
member of a minority group address another member of that same group
if they don't feel that this person is acting like they should in
public?  Don't feel like this person is projecting a positive image
of the rest of that group to society?
    I believe that we all face that problem and how we deal with it
varies, but I would hope that we know enough to not  take  it   upon
ourselves to change the worlds opinions.  I think we can model  that
positive image that is with in our grasp to become, that probably is
the  healthiest way to approach this  idea of perception-changing that
we  think about alot,  Does that make sense?
  thoughts?

On 5/26/11, Jedi <loneblindjedi at samobile.net> wrote:
> Excellent points.
>
> I'm going to add to that some.
>
> I've noticed that we also tend to judge a person's actions when they
> attempt to handle a vexing situation like overhelpfulness or
> discrimination. I've been doing some research on the effects of such
> judgment and have concluded that it creates an invisible audience for
> the blind person in question. This audience is made of both the blind
> and the sighted community and creates thoughts like "What will my blind
> friends and colleagues think of me if I react this or that way? What
> will the sighted person I'm talking to think? What will sighted
> bystanders think?" What this does is create a win/lose situation where
> the stakes are high. Aside from causing stress that limits
> problem-solving ability, this high stakes situation also creates a
> greater likelihood of negative response to perceived threats to the
> blind person's self-concept and sense of efficacy in the interaction.
> So for example, an overly helpful person might cause a blind person to
> feel ineffective as it is. But the invisible audience concept boosts
> that feeling considerably because of the stress involved with feeling
> like they have to show themselves as both effective and graceful in
> handling both the offers of help and the person who's offering it. Is
> any of this making sense? So the bottom line is that by trying to be
> the perfect ambassador for the blind, we may be shooting ourselves in
> the foot by creating such a high stakes situation in our mind that the
> stress lowers our ability to present the cool, calm, and effective
> image we want to offer to the public.
>
> On that note, I've noticed that our community seems to have it in our
> heads that we're responsible for how the sighted feel about us. The
> truth is that there are limits to that responsibility. Sure, we want to
> set a good impression in all areas, but so does everyone else. The sad
> truth is that we are judged based on the actions of one person. But the
> thing is, there's nothing that we can really do about that except to
> expose a given sighted person to the diversity of our population. Even
> if we set the perfect impression, it's likely that the sighted person
> will still stereotype by saying that we're all amazing or that the one
> individual in question is the exception to a rule. It seems to me that
> the only people who really get that we're as diverse as they are are
> those who know how to deconstruct society's grand narrative or are
> those who have seen enough diversity in our population to realize that
> they can't judge all of us based on one person.
>
> Respectfully,
> Jedi
>
> Original message:
>> That makes perfect sense, but we should not fall into the trap of
>> taking responsibility for others' actions. When we do that, we lose
>> sight of our own goals and direction in life. Unless you're a
>> therapist, or a rehab teacher working with people like that, it is not
>> your job to fix them. Even as a therapist or teacher, your place is to
>> be a mentor and an instructor. As I previously said, if that person,
>> after being shown compassion and alternative ways of thinking, doing
>> and living chooses to fall back into old patterns as soon as the
>> instructor's back is turned, that shows a lack of respect for everyone
>> around them, including themselves. So if a person wants to wallow in
>> misery and self-pity, let them! That person will either fall hard when
>> they find out their parents/family members/significant other or what
>> have you can't take care of them forever, and then they'll realize
>> what needs to happen in due time, or they will get sick of the status
>> quo and want to change it. And if people hold it against a decent
>> blind person because they've met a person like that in the past, it's
>> not worth it to try and make them feel any differently. They will
>> either come around in time or they won't. Choice is the key word here.
>> Everyone is free to think as they choose so long as it's not hurting
>> anyone. So, while it might temporarily sting a bit to lose out on a
>> potential friendship due to someone's ignorance, as soon as you meet
>> someone who's worth your time, you forget about that other person real
>> quick
>
>> On 5/26/11, Daniel Romero <djdan567 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> I think the reason why this might go down is because of the view that
>>> we get from the public in general. Most people who are sighted are not
>>> used to a blind person. You have to understand that one blind person
>>> being seen is a huge thing. They're now reliable for what a person
>>> thinks about blind people. They are the ones setting an example. So if
>>> you have a blind person who smells bad, rocks, pokes their eyes or
>>> just do not have the proper skills, the outside person will make an
>>> assumtion and say that all blind people are like that. i'm not saying
>>> it's right for blind people to call out other blind people with a
>>> skills set that is lower then theirs, they're just calling them out
>>> because they are representing blind people. It puts a bad label on us
>>> blind people who do take care of ourselves, have the skills to be
>>> independent and succeed. like i said, i'm not saying it's right but I
>>> don't think us who do have the skills want to have a negative
>>> conotation. Not all blind people poke their eyes, rock, hop,
>>> twitch,bump into everything, smell bad, do not clean their own
>>> clothes, or anything like that. So to be part of a group that's going
>>> to display such a view that is negative to the public, we fall right
>>> behind that. Am I making sense?
>
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