[nabs-l] Blindness vs. Other Minority Groups
Beth
thebluesisloose at gmail.com
Wed Nov 2 03:53:36 UTC 2011
Try being Blind, Muslim, and Somali. I converted to Islam and
associate with Somalis, who are viewed as "violent, bombers,
people who just want to absolutely throw you into a ditch." Not
that anyone has ever said that. But the news views Somalis as
"confidants of Al Shabbab" and so on. Deq, my Somali friend, is
so sweet, and so intelligent, I forget about the whole Somali
thing. Being a Muslim is not a bad dea at all. Jedi, I see what
you've got in the "unusual religion" category. I don't think
your stuff is too unusual. Your religion could be categorized as
"super Buddhism". My religion could be classified according to
interpretations of the Quran. To those who practice
Judaeo-Christian heritage, I don't think it's a bad heritage.
I've been there. But I didn't feel it was appropriate because
the charismmatic Christians in my family didn't feel that
blindness is something bearable. Islam believes that if you
"suffer", or if you really are suffering from mental illness or
blindness, then if you are also patient with what you have, then
you are bound for Heaven or Paradise as we call it. Being blind
AND a Muslim is a bad idea in some states like Florida, but not a
bad idea in Colorado, where the Somali population is third
largest only to one other state ad Minnesota. I don't remember,
uh, I think it was Maine I was thinking of. I'm not Somali
myself, but since Deq is a Somali, people tend to say things that
aren't so nice about him, blind or otherwise. I usually stop and
defend him.
Beth
----- Original Message -----
From: Jedi <loneblindjedi at samobile.net
To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Tue, 01 Nov 2011 23:27:07 -0400
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Blindness vs. Other Minority Groups
Arielle,
I think you're right that speaking about blindness in such a
negative
way is no different than speaking about other minorities in this
fashion. I think the problem is twofold. First, people honestly
feel
that they are being kind to us, but they understand on some level
that
negative comments about other minorities are not kind; most
people
don't understand how their kindness impacts us. The other problem
is
that, up to this point, we haven't spoken with a clear voice on
the
matter of how we're treated by the sighted. Yes, there are our
banquet
speeches and our public announcements, but we're pressured into
everyday politeness by both blind and sighted persons so much
that
we're afraid to tell the sighted how their so-called kindness
really
impacts us; the end result is that the sighted have no idea how
we
really feel about their behavior and we continue to have the same
old
issues we've had forever. Other minorities have done a much
better job
of voicing their frustrations than we have on an interpersonal
level.
We've conditioned ourselves into thinking that we owe the sighted
some
form of special courtesy since we're so afraid that they're going
to
judge us all based on the reactions of one person. If you want
evidence, consider "Don't Throw the Nickel" and "The Nature of
Independence."
Let me say now what I've personally decided to do when it comes
to this
very issue. I stressed myself out to the point of needing
counseling
over whether or not the sighted would judge all of us based on my
actions; I stressed out because i was afraid of how the rest of
you
might judge me if you ever found out about how I handled this or
that
interaction. That's a hell of a lot of pressure! I personally
internalized the frustrations of all of us and this obsessive
need to
educate the sighted. I felt it was my responsibility to be an
ambassador for the blind. I'm not kidding when I tell you that I
emotionally hurt myself and physically drained my personal
resources.
After a lot of soul-searching and some professional help, I've
decided
to abdicate my role as ambassador for the blind unless I
willingly put
myself in that position (e.g. a meet the blind month activity or
presentation on blindness). I have also abdicated my role as the
educator. I've decided to stop dialoguing with the sighted
through
education and I've decided to start educating through dialogue.
This
needs explaining. If a sighted person says "You do so well that I
forget you're blind," I say (if I think it's important enough),
"I feel
stuck when I hear you say that I'm so good at X that you forget
that
I'm blind. First, I feel forced to thank you for what you
perceived to
be a compliment because, if I don't thank you, I'm the rude one
here.
But at the same time, I feel hurt that you would say something
like
that because I hear you saying that you don't expect me to do so
well
because I'm blind and so are surprised, or that you somehow think
that
I'm better than whatever image you've created of me and my blind
friends. This isn't to say that I don't recognize your attempt at
kindness, but I'd rather you tell me that you appreciate
something I'm
good at because I'm good at it, not because I seem to go beyond
an
expectation I perceive you've set for me." Use whatever words you
like
folks. If you're genuinely grateful for the comment, say so. If
you're
angry, say so. But for goodness sake, don't just be quiet because
you're expected to be polite. This is a great way to stack these
things
up in your heart. And if you can't say whatever you need to say
to the
person you need to say it to, find someone to say it to like a
friend
or a colleague who understands you. Put it in an e-mail message
or
whatever you need to do. That's what other minorities have been
doing
with comments like this, and I don't understand why we've not
caught on
except that we somehow seem to think we don't deserve this kind
of
equality. And you know what, some sighted people won't get it no
matter
what you do or say. But some will, and they'll appreciate your
heart-felt honesty a hell of a lot more than whatever platitude
you offer.
Arielle, you asked some of us to talk about our other minority
statuses
if we have them. I fit into the "unusual religious belief"
category,
and my legal name reflects that fact. Some of you may know how
much
crap I've received from some regarding my preference to be called
"Jedi" rather than my given name "Jennifer." I learned the hard
way
that going along to get along is a terrible choice. by going
along to
get along, I felt like some part of myself wasn't being heard.
And if I
fought against the tide of people telling me what to call myself,
I
felt like my words and reasons were falling into nothingness,
even by
people who cared about me but couldn't understand how important
this
preference was to me. So finally, i decided that I need to
respect
myself, especially because i wasn't getting much from others in
this
respect. So I changed my name legally and now it's no problem.
I'm sure
some people were disappointed in me for whatever reason. But I
think
they learned to respect me more as a person because I stood up
for
myself and didn't ask their permission to be who and what I am. I
think
the sighted are the same way. Maybe dramatic demonstrations such
as
mine aren't required in every situation, but I think we need to
be
ready for those times when they are.
So in short, when you find yourself in a situation where a
sighted
person has said or done something to you, think about how that
really
makes you feel inside. And if it's important to you, make it a
point to
say whatever it is you feel you need to say. And since the rest
of us
aren't with you when you're going through this process, none of
us have
the right to judge you for whatever you do because we might have
done
the same had we been in your shoes. And if we really support each
other
and our collective bid for freedom, we shouldn't judge you
anyway. Only
you know what's right for you in how you deal with the sighted,
and
your experiences will tell you if any changes are needed to your
approach. As to the reactions of the sighted, realize that
they'll get
over it; they're just as resilient as we are, and someone might
actually take what you have to say to heart, I've heard it happen
before and I've witnessed it myself. And really folks, we can't
expect
ourselves to represent all of us all of the time. We are a
people's
movement, yes. But first and foremost, we are people.
If what I say feels right to any of you, let's get in contact
because
I'm working on some workshops in which ideas like these can be
further
explored and spread to the Federationists who are interested in
this
kind of thing.
Thanks for asking the question, Arielle. It's high time someone
did.
Respectfully,
Jedi
Original message:
Warning-this topic has the potential to start a heated debate,
but I
also think it is an interesting and important topic for us as
blind
people to think about.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about how the problems faced
by the
blind are similar to or different from those faced by other
minority
groups in this country historically and in the present. More
than
that, I have been thinking about how the general public sees us
as a
group in comparison to how they view other minority groups. It
has
struck me that oftentimes members of the general public treat us
in
discriminatory ways or stereotype us without even considering
that
this kind of treatment resembles stereotyping and discrimination
against other minority groups.
Let me give a concrete example. In his book Freedom for the
Blind, Jim
Omvig writes of a time when he was directing a training center
and a
female staff member at the center commented, "You do your job so
well,
sometimes I forget you're blind!" Seeing the teachable moment,
Mr.
Omvig brought up this incident to his students during a
philosophy
class, and to illustrate his point he said to the woman, "You
are such
a good teacher, sometimes I forget you're a woman!" From what I
recall, the staff member got a bit upset and insisted that "no,
what I
said about you being blind was very different from what you said
about
my being a woman. I was just trying to give you a compliment!"
Now, as blind people most of us understand the problem with her
comment-the implication that being blind must not be very good,
so
someone who does a good job isn't like other blind people. To me
this
sounds like the same problem as making the analogous comment to
a
woman-but she didn't see it that way. Why not? Is there a
difference
here?
I have often been quite frustrated when people I know and
trust-friends or family members, who have very liberal views
about
race, would never utter a racial slur or support discrimination
against racial minorities, women, gays etc. who nonetheless have
no
qualms about saying negative things about blindness. Like saying
blind
people are all worse than the sighted at something, or that
blind
people are more dependent or less successful than the sighted,
etc.
They will sometimes say these things to my face and don't
understand
why I don't like to hear these things. Sometimes family members
will
make comments comparing me favorably to other blind people. They
think
they are giving me compliments, and fail to understand that I
don't
want to hear negative things spoken about the blind as a
collective.
Yet these same people would never tell an African American that
they
are "smart for a black person" etc. I remember during the
protests
against the Blindness film in 2008, I was perplexed by how many
people
just didn't get it, and didn't see what harm the film could
do-and yet
an analogous film where everyone developed black skin or female
anatomy with such dire consequences would never be accepted in
our
modern society. And finally, in my research, I have observed
that the
college students in my experiments have no problem saying on a
survey
that the blind are much less competent than the sighted, yet
would
never say such things directly about another minority group-in
fact,
lots of fancy indirect measures have been developed to tap those
attitudes because people nowadays are so unwilling to admit
their
prejudices, unless it's toward the blind.
So, what's up? Are stereotypes about the blind somehow more
accurate
than stereotypes about ethnic minorities? Is discrimination
against
the blind somehow more justified? Or is it just that we are such
a
small group that we haven't developed the same history, had the
same
scale of civil rights activism, etc. to raise people's
awareness? Do
you guys think we deserve the same considerations as other
minorities
in this country? If not, am I missing something? If so, how do
we get
members of the public to see this?
Also, as an aside, I'm curious to hear from those of you who are
"dual
minorities" being both blind and a member of a minority group in
this
country (ethnicity-wise, or a different group like GLBT,
uncommon
religious beliefs etc.) How do you think your two identities are
similar? Different? Do you feel they interact with one another?
I look forward to the discussion.
Best,
Arielle
_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account
info for nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/loneblindjedi
%40samobile.net
--
Email services provided by the System Access Mobile Network.
Visit
www.serotek.com to learn more about accessibility anywhere.
_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
for nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/thebluesisloo
se%40gmail.com
More information about the NABS-L
mailing list