[nabs-l] Grabbing etc.

Patrick Molloy ptrck.molloy at gmail.com
Wed Nov 9 02:34:30 UTC 2011


Vejas,
It sounds like you did all the right things. If you told this guy you
were good and he still kept trying to help you and you told him again,
there's nothing wrong with that. While I haven't had the exact same
problem that you had, I can't tell you the number of times that people
come up to me on the street corner and try to help me cross. More
often than not, the person talks just as the cars I'm listening for
pull out, so by trying to help, they're actually being more of a
hinderance. I always try and remain positive and upbeat with these
people though and I calmly and politely explain that, no thanks, I
don't need their help. I find this works better than getting mad about
it. Most people mean well and want to do the right thing, but they
just have the wrong way of going about it. If we, that is to say the
blind community, can keep our cool when these people come up in our
daily lives, we'll wind up helping both us and them. Us in that the
next blind person one of these sighted people meets, they will know
what to do or not do and not do any of the things that we've been
talking about in this thread. And them in that we will be able to
educate people and make them more understanding. This in turn comes
back to my previous statement about remaining positive. Because blind
people are a minority, sighted people don't encounter too many of us.
If we always get mad right away, we'll wind up alienating more people
than we make friends with. Case and point: Once a guy came up to me
while I was learning my college's campus and asked if I needed help
getting to a particular place. I told him no, we got to talking, and
now we're really good friends. Hence, the importance of being
positive. Well, that was a lot more than I originally intended to
write, but that's my opinion.
Patrick

On 11/8/11, vejas <brlsurfer at gmail.com> wrote:
> So I guess we don't need to be nice about grabbing? I'm a
> freshman in high school, and one time a senior started grabbing
> my elbow.  I told him politely that I could do it myself, but he
> didn't listen, so finally I said he could "go to class now." My
> aide thought I was being rude, but I felt as if I was adovacting
> for myself.  What are your thoughts on this?
> Vejas
>
>
>  ----- Original Message -----
> From: Bridgit Pollpeter <bpollpeter at hotmail.com
> To: Student Division <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Date sent: Tue, 8 Nov 2011 20:08:43 -0600
> Subject: [nabs-l] Grabbing etc.
>
>
> Arielle,
>
> Don't feel bad about losing your calm with people who grab you
> especially those who silently grab.  Any other situation, this
> would be called harassment, but because we are blind, it suddenly
> turns into charity.  I'll hit strangers who grab me.  I don't
> know what their intentions are, and it's just a gut reaction.  I
> don't purposely go around seeking people to beat up on, but if a
> complete stranger grabs me, my natural instinct is to protect
> myself.  Physical contact is one thing I don't think we need be
> diplomatic and patient with.  No one has the right to touch us
> even if out of kindness.  Does not common sense dictate that if
> I'm out on my own I'm probably okay and don't require assistance?
> Grabbing, or touching in any way, is crossing a line, and we
> shouldn't feel bad about reacting.  As I said, especially for
> women, in any other context, grabbing a person would constitute
> to harassment.
>
> Sincerely,
> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
> bpollpeter at hotmail.com
>
> LiveWellNebraska.com
>
>
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