[nabs-l] Blindness versus other minority groups

[Rania Ismail CMT]

Hi Ariel, I have had the same thing happen to me. Sometimes I will think of
something and a big smile ends up on my face and or I start laughing. When I
get asked what's so funny I can't explain it either. I have also been blind
since birth. I am told that if someone tells me something and I don't like
it I do something with my upper lip. I don't even know I am doing it. I am
told to stop it when it happends but as I said before I have know idea I am
even doing it and am not sure how to stop it. Has anyone experienced this?
Rania,

-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf
Of Arielle Silverman
Sent: Thursday, November 17, 2011 7:30 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Blindness versus other minority groups

Hi Tara and all,
You make a good point about nonverbal communication. I agree that it
behooves us as blind people to actively use nonverbal communication to
express ourselves. However, I wonder how skilled someone can become at
this who has been totally blind since birth, even with practice. In
particular, I am thinking about deliberately using nonverbal signals
in emotional or stressful situations, like eye-rolling or looking
annoyed when a stranger says or does something obnoxious. I imagine we
can practice certain gestures or facial expressions, but would they
ever become automatic enough to appear without much conscious effort,
as they do for sighted people? Of course some things, like facing a
conversation partner, are easy and don't require much thought, but
other expressions are a lot more nuanced. I'm curious if any of you
who have always been blind really feel like you have developed good
control over your facial and body expressions, or if any of you have
made attempts to get better. I really do think that focused lessons
about body language should be taught to young blind children, but I
think that realistically, the task of getting someone who has always
been blind to adopt culturally shared facial expressions and gestures
routinely is a lot harder than just a simple explanation. Then again,
if this kind of education were treated like a dance or acting class,
with as much discipline and structure, maybe it could work.
Incidentally, I have noticed that if I find myself thinking about
something funny, I will pop a big smile and people will ask me what's
so funny. I'm curious if this happens to anyone else? I get the
impression that this doesn't happen to sighted people and I assume
that sighted people find themselves thinking about funny things too,
but that they just hide it better. Often I am so distracted by the
funny thought that I don't even realize I am grinning until my
attention is called to it. This is often quite awkward and
embarrassing, especially since most of the time, the funny thing I am
thinking about is just a stupid joke or something from a TV show and I
don't really feel like explaining it out loud. Can you think of a
graceful way to handle this, or to prevent it?
Best,
Arielle

On 11/15/11, Andi <adrianne.dempsey at gmail.com> wrote:
>      I agree nonverbal comunication is so very important and I think it
> should be included in the curriculum that VI's and training centers use,
not
> only what we want to say but also avoiding the nonverbals that say what we
> do not want to say.  I use to work at a summer camp and I notice a big
> difference in the social lives of the blind kids and teens who had an
> understanding of nonverbal comunication versis the blind kids and teens
who
> were not taught nonverbal comunication.  Part of the reason sighted people
> think so badly and incorrectly about the blind is because sometimes blind
> people do not allways look compatent even though they are.  I am not
saying
> that all blind people look this way, nor am I saying that blind people who
> look compatent are never faulsly judged.  I know that the sighted are
> largely ignorent to the truthe about blind people, but I think blind
people
> also need to present themselves in a way that portrays them how they want
to
> be seen.  I know that you shouldn't care to much what other people think
of
> you, because you can not please everyone, and you should always be true to
> yourself; however all people especially people who are already dealing
with
> stigmas such as the blind should care to a sertain extent.
>      Many blind people have atrophy in the muscles in their face.  This
> means that many facial expressions are hard or in some cases impossible to
> make.  When people have a blank look on their face it looks to the sighted
> like there is nothing going on upstairs.  Even other sighted people get
this
> blank look on their face sometimes but it is usually when they are dazing
> off or falling asleep.  When a person has that look all the time it looks
to
> sighted people that the blind can not have an intelligent conversation
> because you can not talk to someone who is off in space.  Some Blind
people
> go to physical tharipy to remedy this, but that is not necessary just some
> exercises at home can fix it.  Also eye contact is a big part of nonverbal
> comunication.  Many blind people keep their eyes closed, or look at the
> floor, or look up in the sky.  That to a sighted person shows disinterest,
> bordom, or again the off in space thing depending on the rest of your body
> language accompanying the lack of eye contact.  Even though we can not see
> the person we are talking to we should make eye contact.  Isms such as
> rocking, poking, spinning, or flicking, are not exceptable ever as this
> looks like a cognitive impairment.  At the camp their were blind kids with
> no other disability, and blind kids who also had cognitive impairments.  I
> had my sighted sister come to the camp and help teach a weekend dance camp
> as she is a very skilld dancer.  One teenager who is very smart by the way
> and has no other disabilities was rocking and poking while singing loudly
at
> dinner.  My sister had not yet met him and asked me how old he was
mentally.
> Once she met him and realized he was mentally a normal teen she felt bad
for
> asking the question, but that is how the sighted world looks at isms. The
> placement of your hands is a simple but often socially faital thing if
> placed oddly.  Also the way a person stands or walks is importaint.  Many
> blind people move stiffly, I am not talking a robot, but still stif
> movements can tell a sighted person something you are not trying to say.
> Depending on what you are doing with the stiff movement you can look
either
> angry, nervous, or mocking.  This is just the tip of the nonverbal
icebirg,
> and it can make a huge difference in the way we as blind people are
viewed.
>      Also you are right about understanding the body language of others,
and
> even though we can not see it there are ways of telling what is being said
> silently.  Some actions make noise, while others have a different energy
> feel.  I was told that only 7 percent of all comunication is what a person
> says, 32 percent of all comunication is tone, and 61 percent of all
> comunication is nonverbal.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Tara Annis
> Sent: Tuesday, November 15, 2011 10:20 AM
> To: nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [nabs-l] Blindness versus other minority groups
>
> I think the first step in helping blind people to get their feelings
across
> to the sighted is  to understand what is considered ignorance and what is
> considered outright teasing and cruelty in public.  Many of the meanest
> things are just said with one word    and a lot of body language.  Many
> people who hate blind people speak in a nice manner, but  exhibit cruelty
in
> their body language. I do think a lot of blind people, not all, but some,
do
> lack discernment in this area, especially if they are blind from birth and
a
> sighted person  does not take the time to explain nonverbal communication.
> I think the first step would be for an honest sighted person to follow a
> blind person around and interpret the visual elements to the blind person,
> so that the entire picture can be analyzed for both parties.  I think one
of
> the best ways to respond to those who are ignorant, who are not attempting
> to be mean, but make offensive remarks is through body language, like
> rolling one's eyes.  Most sighted people use   nonverbal communication to
> show  when they are irritated by another person.  If the person continues
to
> be annoying, the person will then use verbal communication.  That is why
> sighted people think blind are mean for actually verbally stating their
> anger, instead of visually displaying it.  I would like to see a class
where
> advanced nonverbal communication is explained, since    currently it seems
> there are just the basics  taught, like  facing the person you are talking
> to and shaking hands. There is not a class in how to display   the various
> ways of shooing levels of discomfort, from   annoyed, slightly irritated,
> somewhat irritated, to angry. Blind people need to know that sometimes it
is
> necessary to actively create facial expressions and body movements, as
> opposed to letting one's body language depict their true feelings.
> Personally, I was surprised at the amount of communication that is
displayed
> nonverbally, that sighted people watch me from across a large college
> campus, or from way down the street, and are making judgments about me
from
> my appearance. Once this was explained to me, I do feel that I am more
> comfortable around sighted people, and am  in   control of  getting my
> feelings across.  The great thing about learning all this stuff is that I
> have seen the amount of ignorance I faced by sighted people diminish
> significantly.  It is a 50/50 situation: blind people need to do their
half
> of    helping get rid of ignorance  and sighted people need to be willing
to
> do their half.
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