[nabs-l] nabs-l Digest, Vol 61, Issue 44

[Tara]

I'll add a little more about the appearance thing.  I firsst want to let everyone know that I  don't judge people  by how they look, and definitely believe people  have the right to choose how they look.  I just feel that blind people need to have honest input about physical appearance.  After this input, they an choose to change their behavior or stay the same.  Like I said earlier, we are conditioned socially not to say bad things about people, and in most cases this is correct.  Yet, blind people  do not have all the information, so have to use sighted assistance, just as deaf people have to have hearing people tell them about sound.  I am not saying blind people are dependent on sighted, or that we are less  important.  Once blind people have this info, they can make independent judgements. Personally,, I want constructive criticism, even if it  hurts my feelings.  If the person is  giving me this feedback to help me improve, then I will not take offense.  

I have  witnessed sighted telling blind that "no one can tell they are different", and this makes me angry because it is a lie.  I know they make the comments out of kindness, but they do not realize that this  is keeping vital information from the blind person.  I feel blind people should have the right to know how sight works and  about body language.  For example, I have had blind people lean towards me, pointing their ear at me to eavesdrop.  They do not realize I can see they are spying on me, and they are not being sneaky.  I have seen blind guide dog owners not pick up after their dog and run away from the scene, but they do not realize that sighted people have  seen them, since they can be watched at far distances.  I have seen blind people pick a wedgie and do not realize that sighted can see them from around the corner due to the angle at which they are standing.  In these situations, the sighted observer will glance at another sighted person and smile, basically thinking the situation is "cute", but will not correct the problem  out of fear of being mean.  Yet, this causes the blind person to make these same mistakes over and over again.  I think this is worse when it happens with the rehab profession, since it is their job to help us.

I would like to see rehab offer a class where you could be analyzed 1-on-1 to see how you appear.  The person would describe how the public reacts to you, compares your style of dress to others, talks about your body language, etc.  Once you finished this class, you could chosse to change or    stay the same, but you would have more "pieces of the puzzle" to help you make the best decision.  This class would have to only be open to mature people, since it would  be a very blunt way of talking about life.

Everyone changes their appearance to fit the norm and please people to some  extent. For example, all people wear clothes in public, women usually shave their underarms, people clean and brush their hair, brush their teeth.  Usually people dress up for a job interview, at prom, or for their wedding.  Basically, I'm saying appearance is important.  It's fun to experiment with different looks to see how the public reacts.  

What we need to find out is how important on teh social  acceptability scale different body language is.  Will rocking back and forth upset 5 people or 2500 people?  Will masturbating in class upset 1 person or 1 million people?  Will these behaviors cause one to lose possible friendships, romantic relationships, or employment opportunities?  Some are universally negative, like the masturbation in class.  Yet, where do others fit in?  Does having disfigured eyes cause a lot of negative reactions?  How about having a stiff posture and strange walk?  There are ways to objectively test these. Have a control  group, people not exhibiting these behaviors go in public and record with a hidden camera.  Then, have the same people go in public and exhibit    the test actions and record with a hidden camera.  Then, watch both recordings and compare/contrast.