[nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
Andi
adrianne.dempsey at gmail.com
Thu Feb 9 22:28:53 UTC 2012
The only efective way to deal with a bully is to show him or her that you
will not take the crap he or she dishes out. Depending on the situation
this can be done in different ways but telling the principal or teacher
doesn't do anything except convey to the bully that you cant deal with it
yourself. This is probably not true but that is how a bully thinks and
usually doesn't give a secont thought to what athorities have to say. This
attitude on the bullies part will only ensight more bullying and it will get
worse. I spent most of my elementary recess on top of the swing set because
most other kids could not climb up their to get me. When I didn't make it
up the poles in time I was severely beaten up or had my face ground in to
the dirt. That treatment started out as simple yet anoying things like you
menchend with the pretsals and yogurt and escolated to violence. I diden't
fight back because I was told it would go on my permanent record if I got in
trouble. I told the teachers who did nothing and told the principal who did
call the kids out on it but that made it worse because the bullies got mad.
I tripped one of the perpetrators with my cane as he was getting off the
buss once and he new I did it on perpous because I winked and smiled
malistiously at him. He never hirt me again and started defending me
against other bullies. It is not always that simple though and sometimes
requires more confrentation. However sometimes you can avoid confrentation
all together by appearing tough. I joind the wrestling team when I was in
seventh grade and won a lot of matches. Word spread about the tough blind
chick wrestler, and people stopped messing with me. That is people who were
not on the team. My team mates were not happy about having a female on the
team and tride to brake my nec with illegal moves and tripping me when we
did our laps on the stairs. Their was nothing I could do except beet them
up and their were to many of them for that to work so I had to endure it,
when they saw I was going on with my life despite their sabotage atempts and
becoming a better athleet because of it many of the main offenders quit the
team by the time I reached highschool. Another bully I simply yelld at and
he was so shocked the blind girl new who he was and what he was doing he
stopped right then and their. There is no telling what will make a
particular bully stop harassing you but two things are sertain telling on
him or her will only make it worse and you just have to stand up to them in
some way shape or form. If you can start with as little of confrentation
nesesary to make your point, but if it doesn't work you have to escalate the
comebacks. Sometimes a simple clever comment will do it but sometimes more
is needed. I know the saying two rongs don't make a right and that is fine
and dandy in a perfict world but it doesn't apply to the real world. Of
course you shouldn't be a bully yourself but if you don't defend yourself
nothing can help you. I wish some one would have told me that when I was
younger it would have saved a lot of heart ake and bodily damage.
-----Original Message-----
From: Chris Nusbaum
Sent: Wednesday, February 08, 2012 4:15 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
Good point. He's known to be a pain in the butt throughout the
school. So, I don't think it was just me, although this was a
"joke" on the "blind guy," but he's probably pulling the same
pranks on others. I just hope that whatever happens to him after
this incident will stop him from doing anything like this to
anyone, not just me.
Chris
"The real problem of blindness is not the loss of eyesight. The
real problem is the misunderstanding and lack of education that
exists. If a blind person has the proper training and
opportunity, blindness can be reduced to a mere physical
nuisance."
-- Kenneth Jernigan
----- Original Message -----
From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Sat, 4 Feb 2012 14:34:19 -0700
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
One more thing-I don't think these kinds of things are just about
blindness. While your bully might be playing tricks on you that
take
advantage of your blindness, he might easily be playing different
kinds of jokes on other kids. He should definitely get in
trouble, but
what he's doing to you isn't necessarily worse than what he might
do
to other kids. That is, unless he's tripping you or otherwise
threatening your physical safety. If it goes from pranking you
to
harming you, you will need to get more adults involved.
Arielle
On 2/4/12, Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com> wrote:
I agree about having friends watch your back. The most
effective way
to keep from being picked on by this particular guy again is
simply to
avoid him-try not to sit at his lunch table or come in contact
with
him in other ways. Your friends should be able to help you
accomplish
this.
Also, if you try not to give him opportunities to tease you, and
just
give him as little reaction as possible when he does pull
something,
he should soon get bored and stop pranking you. These kinds of
people
thrive on attention. Confronting him about what he did will
likely
just egg him on.
Arielle
On 2/3/12, Dave Webster <dwebster125 at comcast.net> wrote:
That's pretty bad putting your bad of pretzels in your water.
Hopefully
it
was just one of those small individual sixed bags and not the
really bit
ones. I'd be sad if someone did that especially if it was a big
bag of
them.
-----Original Message-----
From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org
[mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf
Of Nicole B. Torcolini at Home
Sent: Friday, February 03, 2012 5:10 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
This is not the kind of thing that you put in an IEP.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Hope Paulos" <hope.paulos at gmail.com
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2012 4:48 PM
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
Hi Chris. I'm assuming you're in high school.. I'd go to
both your
principal and your guidance counselor. I wouldn't talk to him
directly--
I
think he'd get more dicipline if you had the principal talk to
him. I'd
also bring it up during your IEP/PET.
HTH
Hope and Beignet
----- Original Message -----
From: "Beth" <thebluesisloose at gmail.com
To: "National Association of Blind Students mailing list"
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Sent: Wednesday, February 01, 2012 6:54 PM
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
I knew this kid, speaking of criminals who were playground and
school
bullies, who was always harassing me, got mein trouble at lunch
one day
in
elementary school, and later went on to rape somebody and go to
jail for
it.
Beth
----- Original Message -----
From: Desiree Oudinot <turtlepower17 at gmail.com
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Wed, 1 Feb 2012 18:41:07 -0500
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] asking for advice on problem at school
When I was in elementary school, I had kids stealing books from
me,
throwing erasers in my hair, pulling chairs out from under me,
you
name it, they did it. The worst part was that most times, my
teachers
were right there, and refused to do anything about it, because
they
too were uncomfortable with my blindness, so why should they
intervene? I say this because it wasn't so long ago that this
happened
to me. I grew up in the 90's, before bullying was the huge deal
it is
now, but still close enough to the events of Columbine that it
wasn't
completely unheard of either. And it was as "unacceptable" then
as it
is now. Yes, I put unacceptable in quotes, because guess what,
it
happens every day and so little of it is actually dealt with.
Meanwhile, things that are no real problem at all are resulting
in
criminal records, such as a case I heard about recently where a
boy
gave his friend a hug in school and was charged with sexual
harassment. I forget their exact ages, but they were young,
elementary
school age. And yet, kids are driven to suicide, depression,
drugs,
and every other dysfunction in the book, because they're bullied
mercilessly every day and no one will do anything about it.
Why do I say all this? I say it because I hope your school isn't
like
mine was. I hope that someone in authority actually cares. I
hope that
it doesn't escalate, because most kids have a cruel streak. I
think
it's true what they say about the impulsiveness of
adolescents--it's
human nature to be cruel, and at that age, most of us haven't
learned
how to control those impulses or aggressions, making them the
most
prone not only to selfishness and thoughtlessness, but to almost
animal rage, not to mention an inability to see beyond their own
actions to how they might be affecting others. My point is,
people
like this have to be stopped. Perhaps if something can get
through to
them while they're still young and impressionable, they might
not grow
up to be tomorrow's criminals. Or maybe they will, who knows.
But I've
seen enough to know what usually happens in these situations,
even if
it was 15 years ago; and, in saying that, I hope things have
evolved
at least a little bit since then. It makes me sick to read
messages
like this. I hope for your sake that these small actions do not
go
untouched. Right now this kid is probably testing the waters,
seeing
just how much he can get away with. If he can steal a pack of
gum, so
to speak, he may try to steal a candy bar next, then a bag of
chips,
and on and on it goes, you get the picture.
On 2/1/12, Joshua Lester <jlester8462 at students.pccua.edu> wrote:
Chris, I know what you're going through.
I had a girl, put a dead frog in my shirt, as we were playing
outside,
(I was in elementary school, when that happened.)
Go to your principal, and he/she should do something.
This stuff has got to stop!
If they don't do anything, go in front of the schoolboard!
Blessings, Joshua
On 2/1/12, Chris Nusbaum <dotkid.nusbaum at gmail.com> wrote:
Hi everyone,
I had a problem at school today that I'd like to get your
thoughts on as to what I should do next. Today during lunch,
another kid at my table dumped his bag of pretzels into my water
bottle without my knowing; he must have thought it was some kind
of funny prank. Fortunately, I was sitting next to a good
friend
of mine, who told me about this. Even after multiple people
commented negatively about what he did, he said nothing.
Variations on this have happened before with this same kid as
the
perpetrater; only once before today this school year and 3 times
last year. The one time something like this happened this year,
he put his dirty napkin in my Yogurt cup (after I had finished
eating the Yogurt) without saying anything. The first time
(with
the napkin,) I realized that this had happened as I was getting
my trash together to throw it away. Knowing who did it, since
he'd done this kind of thing before last year, I said, "(Insert
name,) why is your napkin in my Yogurt?" Knowing that he had
been
caught, he replied, "Oh... sorry." I then talked to the lunch
lady who is in charge of supervising all of us in the lunchroom.
She said she would talk to him. I wasn't there when she did,
but
apparently she had, as the problem (for about a month and a
half)
had been resolved... that is, until today.
I feel that this is a person taking advantage of my blindness
and
playing a "prank" on me knowing that I won't catch him. So,
what
do you think I should do next? Should I go to our principal?
Should I talk to him directly? Any suggestions would be greatly
appreciated!
Thanks,
Chris
"The real problem of blindness is not the loss of eyesight. The
real problem is the misunderstanding and lack of education that
exists. If a blind person has the proper training and
opportunity, blindness can be reduced to a mere physical
nuisance."
-- Kenneth Jernigan
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