[nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum

[Brandon Keith Biggs]

Josh, frankly that's very dangerous and I'm scared for you. Not knowing what 
the stuff I described below feels like is analogous to not knowing what it 
is in the first place.
I do agree that sex ed is totally inadequate for the school system and I'm 
sorry if someone disagrees with me, but I think that if someone believes sex 
should not be taught as extensively as math, they are refusing to be human.
We are animals and our goal in life is to grow up, have sex, make babies, 
rays those babies and die.
What separates us from our cats and dogs is the fact that we can learn 
skills in order to make our 3 stages more enjoyable. It's a crime to say we 
should be abstinent and it's going against everything we are. We are one 
third sexual beings and today we just ignore that one third of ourselves.
I once read a book by Margret Weis that talked about a group of people who 
celebrated their bodies, loved pleasure and they even used condoms as 
ornaments on their Christmas trees. These people were the most happy of 
everyone in the book and the particular character was the smartest in the 
book.
It's my opinion that there should be a new section that goes along with 
reading writing and arithmetic that is romance. With divorce raits being 
around 50% I think that's a true indication that we've got a problem. One 
can say learning about sex is gross, it's something that should be avoided 
and at all costs it should not be promoted among our kids! But the numbers 
are out and glairing:
"The marriage breakup rate in America for first marriage is 41% to 50%; the 
rate after second marriage is from 60% to 67% and the rate in America for 
3rd marriage are from 73% to 74%."
http://www.divorcestatistics.info/divorce-statistics-and-divorce-rate-in-the-usa.html
If that's not a problem, I don't know what is.

Sophie, what if you were a gay child who was blind? How would you understand 
how to express yourself? How would you be able to find people who understood 
you if you didn't know what to look for? Especially if goodness forbid you 
were put into a conservative household?
I shutter to think how horrible that would be.

A couple kissing in front of you may be gross, touching a panes with hurpies 
may be gross, seeing a gay couple in skirts may be gross, but it's 
important!
It's part of growing up and it's something that will leave a child 
developmentally delayed if not addressed.

My mom has been good and tells me about the couple making out in front of 
their apartment building and how passionate they are:
"His right hand is around her back and his left hand is under her hair 
cupping her head. They are so close together that there is no room between 
them. Her hands are on his shoulders and they are so in love that they come 
up for air and have to go back in for more. When one try's to go, they get 
pulled back into the other's embrace for one more kiss and that kiss turns 
into a lot more than that one kiss. Now the guy has his hands around her 
back and he's stroking her back while they're kissing..."

It's really important to know details like that, his hand is between her 
hair and neck, what pose they are in, how they are holding each other, how 
they are acting, so we can copy in our relationships. We are blind and don't 
know any of that stuff. How are we supposed to know what a good bye kiss 
looks like? How are we supposed to know how far to go when we're on the bus? 
How are we supposed to know how far we're to go in the movie theater? At 
some point it becomes a matter of legality and we are blissfully unaware.

If sex is put into biology it's reduced to a robotic function:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joIYo0g7HUw
Sex is definitely not robotic! (I wouldn't want to make sex to a robot...)
It's emotional and so much more than just a biological function. That is 
what makes us different than our dog or rabbet.
This is why I believe sex and romance should be put into a totally different 
class of their own.

What I think the blind class should focus on is more hands on mottles, but 
most importantly, how to read and give queues and expressions that signify 
sexual interest.
How do you flirt? I've yet herd a good answer from a blind person on that 
question.
How do I get a date for the prom? This is a question I've heard way too many 
times from different blind teens in high school.
How do I ask a person out? Goodness knows this haunted my middle school 
years.
How do I tell a woman she's beautiful through my face? Any blind guys want 
to take this one?
How do I know she's flirting with me? This could be important sometime...
How do I have a chance with a girl who's playing hard to get? I can't even 
find her!
What kind of touching is permitted when and where? You didn't tell me that 
spot was private...!

These are the problems that plague the blind community and they are what I 
think the curriculum should focus on, above and beyond the sex/romance 
class.
Thanks,

Brandon Keith Biggs
-----Original Message----- 
From: Desiree Oudinot
Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2012 1:34 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum

Hi,
Brandon, I couldn't agree more with your post. Very well said. but I
have to say that it's not just blind people who aren't taught these
things. While sighted people may be more exposed to sex from watching
people make out or get physical, and this could even include their
parents, sex ed curriculums in general aren't exactly top notch. Most
are abstinence only, with a distinct slant towards the doom and gloom
side of things. It makes everything risque for kids who are saying,
"what's the big deal?" And honestly, if they take the right
precautions, they may be right. Have any of you ever checked out
avert.org? It's an Aids charity which has a wealth of information
directed at teens. There are stories about teens' first sexual
experiences. While some do indeed end in heartbreak or STD's, there
are plenty of others who attest to the fact that, while relationships
don't have to last forever, teens can be content with their sexuality,
their choices and their feelings. There are people who have sex at a
young age who don't regret it, who don't live in crappy apartments
with rats crawling up the walls while they prostitute themselves to
support the baby they made at 14. So, in high school and younger, lots
of misinformation flies from one inexperienced ear to another, and
that's how people not only face consequences when they experiment, but
also harbor guilt and shame when they feel they have no one they can
turn to. Their friends may have steered them in the wrong direction
with outright lies, however well-intentioned they may have been, and
parents are often so uncomfortable with seeing their children as
sexual beings that they never do much besides mumble something about
the birds and the bees, and then, in a much more emphatic voice, say,
JUST DON'T DO IT! Well, we all know how well that kind of thing works
most of the time! And the schools are basically doing the same thing
by teaching abstinence only, when you think about it.
Now, how does blindness factor into this? Truthfully, in an
educational sense, it doesn't, in my opinion. Blind people are
experiencing the same feelings and desires as sighted people. They
talk to their friends, whether they're blind or sighted, about these
topics just as sighted people talk to other sighted people about them.
Blind people watch movies where sex and masturbation are discussed or
acted out, and with described movies, while the describer isn't going
to go into explicit detail, they will say something about the activity
being discussed. Let's also not forget that partially sighted people
are probably going to pick up a Playboy or watch porn at some point.
There's still the same danger of misinformation, and the same parental
reluctance to discuss these topics. the only slight difference may be
that parents may balk more at the idea of their blind child having sex
than they would at their sighted child doing the same thing. I speak
from personal experience on this one--my parents used to tell me I
shouldn't have sex because I was blind, not so much because of the
physical act but because of the fact I could get pregnant, and God
forbid a blind person should become a parent.
In summation, I don't think a separate curriculum needs to be written
up for blind people about this sensitive subject. For one thing,
blindness doesn't mean you have to do things differently, and I feel
that the blind are already singled out enough that trying to alter the
sex ed curriculum for us would just lead to even more awkwardness and
embarrassment. Sex ed curriculums need to become more inclusive in
general, and the teachers who teach them need to make an effort not to
let their personal feelings and biases get in the way. If a teacher
can't do that, perhaps they shouldn't be handling the material. If
psychologists and others in the helping profession must remain
objective about their clients and work, so too should teachers. It's
sex ed itself that needs an overhaul, not nit picking at something
that's way far from the root of the problem.

On 7/12/12, Joshua Lester <jlester8462 at students.pccua.edu> wrote:
> Brandon, the stuff you mentioned, is something that I'm glad that I don't
> see.
> JMHO!
> Blessings, Joshua
>
> On 7/12/12, Brandon Keith Biggs <brandonkeithbiggs at gmail.com> wrote:
>> Hello,
>> Sighted people are exposed to sex all the time, haven't you heard of
>> playboy
>>
>> or penthouse? Also, what about those people making out on the bus? Or the
>> gay couple walking down the sidewalk in skirts and bikini? All that we
>> miss
>>
>> because we're blind.
>> Books are grate, but you can only learn so much from a manual. Sighted
>> kids
>>
>> get pictures, we should get to feel. Also, how is a blind person supposed
>> to
>>
>> know they have an STD if they have never felt one? How do they know it's
>> not
>>
>> just a cut or dehydration?
>> Sighted people are given extensive viewings of the peaness and vagina in
>> class or in pictures, why can't blind people get the same?
>> Frankly I believe that the art of giving pleasure has become such a
>> suppressed skill that people have even resorted to substance abuse to
>> obtain
>>
>> pleasure. Our bodies were meant to give us pleasure, why aren't we taught
>> to
>>
>> utilize these pleasure factories? What's the meaning of life? To love and
>> be
>>
>> happy! Why aren't we taught to be happy, to give pleasure, to love our
>> selves in school?
>> It's a fundamental wrong that I find is a crime against the words human
>> beings, but that's kind of a different issue.
>> But if this curriculum is any bit good, teachers will adopt it instead of
>> the droll thing they have now.
>>
>> btw what about feeling a condom, diaphragm or dental dam? How is a blind
>> person supposed to know what one looks like if they haven't felt one or
>> tried it on? Also, how does a blind person shop for contraception's?
>> Me: "Next on my list is condoms." Walgreens guy: "OK, what brand do you
>> want? Durex, Trojan, Crown, Kimono..." Me: "Uh, what's your favorite?"
>> Walgreens guy: "Most people get Trojan, what size do you want? We've got
>> small, medium, large and extra large. We've also got narrow and wide.
>> Here
>> are some flavors as well..."
>>
>> That's just a wall greens guy who is comfortable, what if it's one of the
>> really shy ladies who doesn't speak English? Sighted people can be
>> unobtrusive and just buy the condom or diaphragm along with their lube
>> where
>>
>> as a blind person has to know what questions to ask and know what brands
>> to
>>
>> get. I learned what questions to ask when shopping by watching my
>> parents,
>> but I've never seen my parents buy condoms.
>> It's a serious issue and this program will help address those problems.
>> And
>>
>> what about masturbation? I've rarely read a book where masturbation is
>> talked about and I've read a lot of books! How does a guy masturbate
>> without
>>
>> making a mess?
>> Sex Ed is not just about a sperm and an egg get together to form a baby,
>> that's more science.
>> Sex Ed is about sex and it's an issue that blind people fall way short in
>> when it comes to being educated along with their fellow students.
>> Thanks,
>>
>> Brandon Keith Biggs
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Herrin, Amber R.
>> Sent: Thursday, July 12, 2012 6:40 AM
>> To: 'National Association of Blind Students mailing list'
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum
>>
>> Dear Joshua,
>>
>> I have to agree with you here!  For me, the idea of knowing about sex,
>> before I'm sharing it with my husband, is kind of...unnecessary, I guess?
>> Maybe the wrong answer, and I understand that not everyone believes you
>> should wait until marriage as I do, but I think that being blind doesn't
>> prevent us from finding out about it the same way sighted people
>> do-experiment (isn't that what most people do anyway?) or read books
>> written
>> on the topic (how confusing can text be?)
>>
>> Amber R. Herrin
>> Assistive Technology Trainer in Training: 2012
>> Mobile: (513) 593-5855
>> E-mail: herrinar at muohio.edu
>> "It doesn't matter what you've heard
>> Impossible is not a word
>> It's just a reason
>> For someone not to try
>>
>> Everybody's scared to death
>> When they decide to take that step
>> Out on the water
>> It'll be alright
>>
>> Life is so much more
>> Than what your eyes are seeing
>> You will find your way
>> If you keep believing"
>> -Kutless "What Faith Can Do"
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf
>> Of Joshua Lester
>> Sent: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 9:35 PM
>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Sex Education Curriculum
>>
>> I personally did fine, in those courses, in school, without the new
>> proposed
>> curriculum, that they're wanting.
>> I don't see the need for one, because who really wants to know, what's
>> being
>> shown, in those slides?
>> Good grief!
>> Blessings, Joshua
>>
>> On 7/11/12, David Andrews <dandrews at visi.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>>I have been asked to circulate the following:
>>>
>>>
>>> Dave
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>Dear NFB Member,
>>>>The National Federation of the Blind has been gracious enough to help
>>>>us with a current project.
>>>>
>>>>We are currently seeking your opinion in a survey that will help us
>>>>write a curriculum for students with low vision and blindness in the
>>>>area of sex education.  Currently no curriculum exists for students
>>>>with low vision and blindness that reflect current education
>>>>standards.  Young people, educators, and professionals have all
>>>>indicated that there is a desperate need for such a curriculum.
>>>>We want your voice to impact our work!
>>>>Please take the time to fill out the survey at the link found below:
>>>><https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/sexeducationsurvey>https://www.surveym
>>>>onkey.com/s/sexeducationsurvey
>>>>
>>>><https://maverick.hec.ohio-state.edu/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=https:/
>>>>/www.surveymonkey.com/s/sexeducationsurvey>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Thank you for your time and consideration of this project!
>>>>Tiffany Wild, Mollie Blackburn, Stacy Kelly, and Caitlin Ryan
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Thank you,
>>>>Mika Baugh
>>>>National Federation of the Blind
>>>>200 East Wells Street
>>>>      at Jernigan Place
>>>>Baltimore, MD 21230
>>>>P: (410) 659 9314 ext. 2371
>>>>E: <mailto:mbaugh at nfb.org>mbaugh at nfb.org
>>>>W: <http://www.nfb.org>www.nfb.org
>>>>
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>>
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