[nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

Sat Sep 8 03:45:01 UTC 2012

Tell her to low it down.  Things may be rushed if you do that ex 
thing now.
Beth

 ----- Original Message -----
From: Koby <kobycox at gmail.com
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Fri, 7 Sep 2012 20:42:00 -0500
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

All,
What should I do If this girl wants to have sex when I see her?
Koby
Sent from my iPhone

On Sep 6, 2012, at 12:53 AM, Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com> 
wrote:

 Hi, Arielle and all,
    Jason is the love I thought I'd never have.  YEs, we get on 
each other's nerves.  YEs, he argues with me sometimes, but 
people call him no good, bad, really stupid, whuatever you say 
they say it about him.  I think Jason has a sweet side to him.  I 
love Jason so much and we met in June.  His mom was able to pay 
for the flight, but I'm afraid she won't this December or so.  
I'm trying to make it easy for her to pay for it again so I can 
be down there with him.  I want Jason to know that just because 
he's blind, heart issues and all that, that doesn't mean that his 
life is over.  HE can marry, he can have a relationship, he can 
have kids if he so desires, and he may engage in sex if that's 
whuat he wants.  Some men are nervous about sex and 
relationships, even Jason.  But with the help of my coaxing and 
calm manner, he was able to enjoy himself with me.  At least he 
doesn't engage in the trade of child porn and other inappropriate 
things that sighted men would engage in.  He has a good sense of 
right and wrong.  He loves chocolate for breakfast. (hee hee), 
though I prefer eggs myself.  If I look back and turn the clock 
back, I see that I have not made a bad choice as some are led to 
believe.  Honestly, I have insecurity issues, and I see myself at 
fault for a stupid email I sent to his mother because I was truly 
upset at sommething he did that was really inappropriate and I 
don't want to share with this list.  I love Jason no matter what 
he does to me or whuaft I do to him.  All I can do is say that 
it's emotionally trying not having Jason near me, but this 
relationship is good when the winds of good fortune blow in our 
direction.  Arielle, Im glad at least you have a good boyfriend.  
Btw, for all of us, how can I make up with Jason's family without 
sending an email?  I really want to see him again, and supposedly 
his mom resents me for sending that email.  That's the only thing 
about the relationship that I don't like very much.
 Beth

 ----- Original Message -----
 From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
 To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list 
<nabs-l at nfbnet.org
 Date sent: Wed, 5 Sep 2012 23:01:32 -0600
 Subject: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

 Hi all,
 Cindy, I generally agree with you about keeping this list to
 blindness-related discussions. However, I do think long-distance
 dating issues like the one Koby brought up are perhaps more 
relevant
 to us blind students than they are for sighted students, 
especially
 those of us who are involved in the NFB.  This is because, for 
many
 reasons, some of us want to date other blind/NFB people and 
because
 our community is so spread out, we may often end up in similar
 situations where we have to decide if we want to enter a 
long-distance
 relationship with someone we know from this community. So I'd 
like to
 offer a brief response on-list and hope that others in similar
 situations might find it helpful.
 During college I was in a long-distance relationship with 
someone I
 met through NFB for about a year. In hindsight I do not regret 
that
 decision at all. I had fun, learned a lot and he and I are still
 friends. I will also say that parts of it were emotionally very 
hard
 to deal with--in my particular case an airplane ticket between 
my
 location and his cost nearly $500 and we did not see each other 
for
 five months, which was emotionally trying at times. I do not 
think I
 would do another long-distance relationship and my current 
boyfriend
 and I will be making an effort to ensure we will not have to be 
living
 in separate places for any length of time. However, again, I 
enjoyed
 the one experience I had overall and learned a lot from it. I 
think if
 you and this girl really like each other and you can find a way 
to see
 each other on a somewhat regular basis, there's no harm in 
trying and
 you can always decide later on to just be friends. However, it 
is
 something to give a little serious thought to before you make 
that
 kind of commitment. You also want to talk with her and make sure 
that
 the two of you have similar expectations for how serious of a
 relationship this will be and how often you will be able to see 
each
 other. It will be hard if one of you is much more enthused about 
the
 relationship than the other. But if the two of you are generally 
on
 the same page and are really committed to it, it can be fun.
 Hope this helps,
 Arielle

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