[nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

Sat Sep 8 04:36:00 UTC 2012

Jedi,
great advice. That is what I meant. I wouldn't rush into physical intimacy.
Koby, talk it over and think through it. Do you really want to rush into it 
with a girl you seem to be reacquainting yourself with?

Joshua, while I share your views on sex and marriage, we cannot tell people 
to stop talking it over.
We are not the moderators, and besides as Jedi said, its an issue people 
struggle with.

Ashley

-----Original Message----- 
From: SA Mobile
Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 10:32 PM
To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

Communicate honestly with her. Make sure you are both on the same page. Also 
remember that sex has physical amd emotional consequences. Consider these 
carefully and decide as a couple how you will handle the responsibilities 
involved. Above all, don't rush into things. You have plenty of time that 
you can use to develop your relationship im other ways that make physical 
intimacy more meaningful for you.

Respectfully Submitted

Sent from my iPhone

On 07/09/2012, at 9:20 PM, Koby <kobycox at gmail.com> wrote:

> Yes. How should I convey this to her?
> Koby
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On Sep 7, 2012, at 9:13 PM, SA Mobile <loneblindjedi at samobile.net> wrote:
>
>> His question is appropriate in my opinion so long as things don't get 
>> graphic. Blind people struggle with these questions as much as anyone, 
>> maybe more because of the misperception that we are aesexual and/or are 
>> not capable of making these decisions. Some of us are overprotected to 
>> the point where these questions become central when we finally experience 
>> true autonomy for the first time.
>>
>> Koby, do you feel ready for sex? What does that activity mean for you and 
>> do you feel your relationship is at that level of meaning? You don't have 
>> to answer publicly, it's just something to consider.
>>
>> Respectfully,
>> Jedi
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>> On 07/09/2012, at 8:46 PM, Joshua Lester 
>> <JLester8462 at PCCUAEDU.onmicrosoft.com> wrote:
>>
>>> Koby: this is off topic, especially since there are high schoolers on 
>>> here.
>>> Thanks, Joshua
>>> ________________________________________
>>> From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] on behalf of 
>>> Koby [kobycox at gmail.com]
>>> Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 8:42 PM
>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>> Cc: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
>>> Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
>>>
>>> All,
>>> What should I do If this girl wants to have sex when I see her?
>>> Koby
>>> Sent from my iPhone
>>>
>>> On Sep 6, 2012, at 12:53 AM, Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Hi, Arielle and all,
>>>> Jason is the love I thought I'd never have.  YEs, we get on each 
>>>> other's nerves.  YEs, he argues with me sometimes, but people call him 
>>>> no good, bad, really stupid, whuatever you say they say it about him. 
>>>> I think Jason has a sweet side to him.  I love Jason so much and we met 
>>>> in June.  His mom was able to pay for the flight, but I'm afraid she 
>>>> won't this December or so.  I'm trying to make it easy for her to pay 
>>>> for it again so I can be down there with him.  I want Jason to know 
>>>> that just because he's blind, heart issues and all that, that doesn't 
>>>> mean that his life is over.  HE can marry, he can have a relationship, 
>>>> he can have kids if he so desires, and he may engage in sex if that's 
>>>> whuat he wants.  Some men are nervous about sex and relationships, even 
>>>> Jason.  But with the help of my coaxing and calm manner, he was able to 
>>>> enjoy himself with me.  At least he doesn't engage in the trade of 
>>>> child porn and other inappropriate things that sighted men would engage 
>>>> in.  He has a
>>> good sense of right and wrong.  He loves chocolate for breakfast. (hee 
>>> hee), though I prefer eggs myself.  If I look back and turn the clock 
>>> back, I see that I have not made a bad choice as some are led to 
>>> believe.  Honestly, I have insecurity issues, and I see myself at fault 
>>> for a stupid email I sent to his mother because I was truly upset at 
>>> sommething he did that was really inappropriate and I don't want to 
>>> share with this list.  I love Jason no matter what he does to me or 
>>> whuaft I do to him.  All I can do is say that it's emotionally trying 
>>> not having Jason near me, but this relationship is good when the winds 
>>> of good fortune blow in our direction.  Arielle, Im glad at least you 
>>> have a good boyfriend.  Btw, for all of us, how can I make up with 
>>> Jason's family without sending an email?  I really want to see him 
>>> again, and supposedly his mom resents me for sending that email.  That's 
>>> the only thing about the relationship that I don't like very much.
>>>> Beth
>>>>
>>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>>> From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
>>>> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list 
>>>> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>> Date sent: Wed, 5 Sep 2012 23:01:32 -0600
>>>> Subject: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
>>>>
>>>> Hi all,
>>>> Cindy, I generally agree with you about keeping this list to
>>>> blindness-related discussions. However, I do think long-distance
>>>> dating issues like the one Koby brought up are perhaps more relevant
>>>> to us blind students than they are for sighted students, especially
>>>> those of us who are involved in the NFB.  This is because, for many
>>>> reasons, some of us want to date other blind/NFB people and because
>>>> our community is so spread out, we may often end up in similar
>>>> situations where we have to decide if we want to enter a long-distance
>>>> relationship with someone we know from this community. So I'd like to
>>>> offer a brief response on-list and hope that others in similar
>>>> situations might find it helpful.
>>>> During college I was in a long-distance relationship with someone I
>>>> met through NFB for about a year. In hindsight I do not regret that
>>>> decision at all. I had fun, learned a lot and he and I are still
>>>> friends. I will also say that parts of it were emotionally very hard
>>>> to deal with--in my particular case an airplane ticket between my
>>>> location and his cost nearly $500 and we did not see each other for
>>>> five months, which was emotionally trying at times. I do not think I
>>>> would do another long-distance relationship and my current boyfriend
>>>> and I will be making an effort to ensure we will not have to be living
>>>> in separate places for any length of time. However, again, I enjoyed
>>>> the one experience I had overall and learned a lot from it. I think if
>>>> you and this girl really like each other and you can find a way to see
>>>> each other on a somewhat regular basis, there's no harm in trying and
>>>> you can always decide later on to just be friends. However, it is
>>>> something to give a little serious thought to before you make that
>>>> kind of commitment. You also want to talk with her and make sure that
>>>> the two of you have similar expectations for how serious of a
>>>> relationship this will be and how often you will be able to see each
>>>> other. It will be hard if one of you is much more enthused about the
>>>> relationship than the other. But if the two of you are generally on
>>>> the same page and are really committed to it, it can be fun.
>>>> Hope this helps,
>>>> Arielle
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>>>> nabs-l:
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/thebluesisloo
>>>> se%40gmail.com
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>>>> nabs-l:
>>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/kobycox%40gmail.com
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>>> nabs-l:
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/jlester8462%40pccuaedu.onmicrosoft.com
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> nabs-l mailing list
>>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>>> nabs-l:
>>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/loneblindjedi%40samobile.net
>>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> nabs-l mailing list
>> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
>> nabs-l:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/kobycox%40gmail.com
>
> _______________________________________________
> nabs-l mailing list
> nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> nabs-l:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/loneblindjedi%40samobile.net
>

_______________________________________________
nabs-l mailing list
nabs-l at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/nabs-l_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
nabs-l:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/nabs-l_nfbnet.org/bookwormahb%40earthlink.net 