[nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating

Sat Sep 8 06:04:37 UTC 2012

You said it! Grow up, Josh and think of simply not responding to 
those messages that cause your little, hands to grow clammy.At 08:45 
PM 9/7/2012, Desiree Oudinot wrote:
>Joshua,
>How about instead of being condescending because you're uncomfortable
>with the topic at hand, you just don't respond to messages that make
>you uncomfortable? Oh boy, what a novel concept!
>Besides, whether you like it or not, high schoolers have in fact heard
>the word sex. Sex itself isn't a dirty word, nor is it an inherently
>dirty and shameful act. And, guess what, many high schoolers have sex,
>and not all of them are drug addicts or derelicts, either. This guy
>obviously is having trouble figuring out what a relationship consists
>of. Do you really want to shoot him down by being so ignorant?
>
>On 9/7/12, Joshua Lester <JLester8462 at pccuaedu.onmicrosoft.com> wrote:
> > Koby: this is off topic, especially since there are high schoolers on here.
> > Thanks, Joshua
> > ________________________________________
> > From: nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org [nabs-l-bounces at nfbnet.org] on behalf of
> > Koby [kobycox at gmail.com]
> > Sent: Friday, September 07, 2012 8:42 PM
> > To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> > Cc: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> > Subject: Re: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
> >
> > All,
> > What should I do If this girl wants to have sex when I see her?
> > Koby
> > Sent from my iPhone
> >
> > On Sep 6, 2012, at 12:53 AM, Beth <thebluesisloose at gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> >> Hi, Arielle and all,
> >>    Jason is the love I thought I'd never have.  YEs, we get on each
> >> other's nerves.  YEs, he argues with me sometimes, but people call him no
> >> good, bad, really stupid, whuatever you say they say it about him.  I
> >> think Jason has a sweet side to him.  I love Jason so much and we met in
> >> June.  His mom was able to pay for the flight, but I'm afraid she won't
> >> this December or so.  I'm trying to make it easy for her to pay for it
> >> again so I can be down there with him.  I want Jason to know that just
> >> because he's blind, heart issues and all that, that doesn't mean that his
> >> life is over.  HE can marry, he can have a relationship, he can have kids
> >> if he so desires, and he may engage in sex if that's whuat he wants.  Some
> >> men are nervous about sex and relationships, even Jason.  But with the
> >> help of my coaxing and calm manner, he was able to enjoy himself with me.
> >> At least he doesn't engage in the trade of child porn and other
> >> inappropriate things that sighted men would engage in.  He has a good
> >> sense of right and wrong.  He loves chocolate for breakfast. (hee hee),
> >> though I prefer eggs myself.  If I look back and turn the clock back, I
> >> see that I have not made a bad choice as some are led to believe.
> >> Honestly, I have insecurity issues, and I see myself at fault for a stupid
> >> email I sent to his mother because I was truly upset at sommething he did
> >> that was really inappropriate and I don't want to share with this list.  I
> >> love Jason no matter what he does to me or whuaft I do to him.  All I can
> >> do is say that it's emotionally trying not having Jason near me, but this
> >> relationship is good when the winds of good fortune blow in our direction.
> >>  Arielle, Im glad at least you have a good boyfriend.  Btw, for all of us,
> >> how can I make up with Jason's family without sending an email?  I really
> >> want to see him again, and supposedly his mom resents me for sending that
> >> email.  That's the only thing about the relationship that I don't like
> >> very much.
> >> Beth
> >>
> >> ----- Original Message -----
> >> From: Arielle Silverman <arielle71 at gmail.com
> >> To: National Association of Blind Students mailing list
> >> <nabs-l at nfbnet.org
> >> Date sent: Wed, 5 Sep 2012 23:01:32 -0600
> >> Subject: [nabs-l] Long-Distance Dating
> >>
> >> Hi all,
> >> Cindy, I generally agree with you about keeping this list to
> >> blindness-related discussions. However, I do think long-distance
> >> dating issues like the one Koby brought up are perhaps more relevant
> >> to us blind students than they are for sighted students, especially
> >> those of us who are involved in the NFB.  This is because, for many
> >> reasons, some of us want to date other blind/NFB people and because
> >> our community is so spread out, we may often end up in similar
> >> situations where we have to decide if we want to enter a long-distance
> >> relationship with someone we know from this community. So I'd like to
> >> offer a brief response on-list and hope that others in similar
> >> situations might find it helpful.
> >> During college I was in a long-distance relationship with someone I
> >> met through NFB for about a year. In hindsight I do not regret that
> >> decision at all. I had fun, learned a lot and he and I are still
> >> friends. I will also say that parts of it were emotionally very hard
> >> to deal with--in my particular case an airplane ticket between my
> >> location and his cost nearly $500 and we did not see each other for
> >> five months, which was emotionally trying at times. I do not think I
> >> would do another long-distance relationship and my current boyfriend
> >> and I will be making an effort to ensure we will not have to be living
> >> in separate places for any length of time. However, again, I enjoyed
> >> the one experience I had overall and learned a lot from it. I think if
> >> you and this girl really like each other and you can find a way to see
> >> each other on a somewhat regular basis, there's no harm in trying and
> >> you can always decide later on to just be friends. However, it is
> >> something to give a little serious thought to before you make that
> >> kind of commitment. You also want to talk with her and make sure that
> >> the two of you have similar expectations for how serious of a
> >> relationship this will be and how often you will be able to see each
> >> other. It will be hard if one of you is much more enthused about the
> >> relationship than the other. But if the two of you are generally on
> >> the same page and are really committed to it, it can be fun.
> >> Hope this helps,
> >> Arielle
> >>
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